[googley]

I feel so awful it feels painful inside. No one cares... If they did they would have health insurance that covered mental health. Instead I feel like I'm back when my parent's wouldn't help me pay for meds but would pay for other things. How can I go to school if I can't continue with my treatment? I feel so unlovable and so alone... Who would ever . . . ? It's not like I wasn't going through enough stuff as it was. I didn't need this right now. I was trying to hold on. Now every day is a challenge to get out of bed and go to work. I just want to have someone who will take care of me for once in my life and tell me I don't have to worry about everything all the time.

[notz]

(((((googley)))))

[Amazonmom]

I care.

Insurance coverage for mental health is atrocious at best. I am so sorry this is keeping you from getting the help you need.

((((((((((((googley)))))))))))))

[googley]

I'm fine for right now with my insurance, it is when I go to school in the the fall that I am going to have the problem. The rest of the stress is right now, making the problem in the fall seem all the worse. I just feel awful and talked to fin-aid today and they were absolutely no help. They couldn't seem to understand that I would need to be able to see my doctor to get my meds so that I could go to class. I definitely wouldn't make it off my meds.

[Amazonmom]

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by googley

...talked to fin-aid today and they were absolutely no help...

This sort of thing is very frustrating and disheartening. Googley, were the actual people at financial aid with whom you spoke bottom-level staffers? If they were, I'm not at all surprised they couldn't deal with your case; I suspect they're barely trained to deal with anything beyond the most routine transactions.

If you can, learn the financial aid hierarchy at your school and aim as high as you practically can. Go to someone senior enough to actually make decisions.

I find bureaucracies overwhelming, and I'm not at all sure I myself could manage the advice I've offered. I wish you strength.

[lorna]

I was shocked when I checked my coverage for Psy. services. I never realized it until I needed it how bad the coverage is, basically covering one session a year, that will do a lot for someone who has been tramatized The only thing I can think of to suggest is to check with your workplace, sometimes they do provide free employee councelling and support that is offered off site. They don't use psychologists or psychiatrists but do use councellors, its worth a try in lieu of nothing.
Wishing you all the best, Lorna

[googley]

It isn't for my work now (as that is mostly covered) it is for when I go to school in the fall and wont be working. The school insurance is cr*p. I'm just having a really hard time because it is bringing back feelings around when my parents wouldn't help out with my mental health expenses when I was in undergrad. I ended up in the hospital and they still wouldn't help. (Though they would pay for me to travel to a friend's house since the school would not let me stay on campus for spring break). I just didn't tell them the second time. It makes me feel worthless and unlovable. If my parents don't love me then who is going to love me? Parents are supposed to love you no matter what. There are people out there who do terrible things and their parents still love them. I try to be a good person all the time and my parents wont love me. What is wrong with me?

Maybe I'm just too self-centered.

[Amazonmom]

There is NOTHING wrong with you. They are the ones with the problem. I am so sorry your parents completely missed the opportunity to help you. I'm sorry that you have to remember that and carry it with you.



My parents either completely ignored my issues when I was in undergrad, or chided me for being depressed. I was so depressed I wasn't showering or eating, and barely could pass my courses. I ended up flunking out of grad school due to depression. I was screamed at and told that they were done with me. I do know what you are going through somewhat...the lack of caring and support from my parents has probably permanently broken the relationship.

Feel free to talk to me anytime.

Originally Posted by googley

It isn't for my work now (as that is mostly covered) it is for when I go to school in the fall and wont be working. The school insurance is cr*p. I'm just having a really hard time because it is bringing back feelings around when my parents wouldn't help out with my mental health expenses when I was in undergrad. I ended up in the hospital and they still wouldn't help. (Though they would pay for me to travel to a friend's house since the school would not let me stay on campus for spring break). I just didn't tell them the second time. It makes me feel worthless and unlovable. If my parents don't love me then who is going to love me? Parents are supposed to love you no matter what. There are people out there who do terrible things and their parents still love them. I try to be a good person all the time and my parents wont love me. What is wrong with me?

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((((( googley )))))))))))))))))))

[googley]

Originally Posted by Amazonmom

There is NOTHING wrong with you. They are the ones with the problem. I am so sorry your parents completely missed the opportunity to help you. I'm sorry that you have to remember that and carry it with you.



My parents either completely ignored my issues when I was in undergrad, or chided me for being depressed. I was so depressed I wasn't showering or eating, and barely could pass my courses. I ended up flunking out of grad school due to depression. I was screamed at and told that they were done with me. I do know what you are going through somewhat...the lack of caring and support from my parents has probably permanently broken the relationship.

Feel free to talk to me anytime.

The only thing that keeps me going sometimes is my perfectionism that wont let me stop. I have to keep going because otherwise I will fail and that feels like it would be the worst thing ever. I can't even let myself take time off from work because I have to be perfect and can't let anyone down. I wish I didn't always feel I had to be perfect. My pdoc today asked if I was able to go to work and get done what I needed to do. I thought this was ironic (is that the right word?) Keeping going with the schedule is the only thing that keeps me going. A lot of it came from being terrified as a kid of disapointing my parents and getting yelled at. As long as I pretended everything was okay and everyone else thought things were fine then I could fall apart inside without fear of getting yelled at.