[Naturefreak]

I just feel like crying , but I can't
I just feel so angry , frustrated , lonely , exhausted , sad
It's like I'm all alone in this world , living in a body that's
already dead. I really don't know how to explain it in words.
For anyone that has never been alone , I hope you never will
have to experience it. Everyday I look forward to spending
time with my cyber friends who have been so kind and good
to me , and I just want to say I appreciate each and every
one of you . It's a vicious cycle , I can't seem to find a
way out of this rut . It feels like I don't have enough energy
to go on . Thanks for listening to me whine about how my
life is so tough . Oh I got it so bad .
I must remember most of you are dealing with your own
issues and still manage to make me feel like I'm loved .
Sorry if this doesn't make sense . I question my sanity alot.

[yupitsme]

Sorry you are having a rough day

[JayS]

((((((((((Babysteps))))))))))

I know how you feel because I feel like that all the time too.... I do hope you start to feel better, I do care for you, you are my friend.

Big hugs for you....

[notz]

Babysteps,

You do the same for us! I've had a rough time of it lately. I'll be last in line to post it though. And even though you didn't know, I'm telling you, you've been a big help to me. You humor has pulled me forward when I really only wanted to just roll over and die.

So, if this means anything, I hope it puts a little love in your heart. You're very important here and there's always time for good friends.

[depressedalaskan]

Originally Posted by Babysteps09

I just feel like crying , but I can't
I just feel so angry , frustrated , lonely , exhausted , sad
It's like I'm all alone in this world , living in a body that's
already dead. I really don't know how to explain it in words.
For anyone that has never been alone , I hope you never will
have to experience it. Everyday I look forward to spending
time with my cyber friends who have been so kind and good
to me , and I just want to say I appreciate each and every
one of you . It's a vicious cycle , I can't seem to find a
way out of this rut . It feels like I don't have enough energy
to go on . Thanks for listening to me whine about how my
life is so tough . Oh I got it so bad .
I must remember most of you are dealing with your own
issues and still manage to make me feel like I'm loved .
Sorry if this doesn't make sense . I question my sanity alot.

((((Babysteps09)))) I want to answer your post in more detail but my mind is not letting me focus. But I had to stop by and just say thank you for what you have done for me. Your humor, kindness, thoughts, experiences, guidance, understand, support, have helped me through some tough times. You are a wonderful person and again I thank you for all that you have done for me. I am sorry your depression is doing this to you. Hoping some hugs will help. again.....

Thank you !!!!

[idontknow13]

Babysteps
I am so sorry you feel this bad, I wish I could make you feel better

You are truly a beautiful person who cares for others and that in itself is a gift

I hope you feel better soon, I am thinking about you

[Rohag]

Amazing the support and care a bunch of hurting, unhappy people can offer one another. My thanks to everyone above me in this thread, starting with Babysteps, and to all who come after for fighting through the pain, the apathy, the lack of focus and energy to post any words, any icons of comfort for their fellows. Your feelings may tell you otherwise, but your hearts are big and your living not in vain.

Babysteps!

[justfloating]

((((((((((babysteps))))))))))


You are not alone in this. We care and understand where you're coming from here, and as long as it's helping you to post about how you're feeling, then go ahead and post 100 times a day if you have to. I've found that the best thing in the world for me, no matter how much I'm suffering or how big my problems get, is to offer some support to someone else. I'd like to thank you for the opportunity to help you, and in turn make myself feel a little better too. I hope you keep us posted on how you're doing, and I'm sorry that you're feeling so crummy right now. Sending lots of hugs.

[Elysium]

Babysteps.....

This isn't your always!!! It's just your right now, and I hear you when you say that you feel like you are dead.

Just know, that you are not dead and that this feeling is a lie!! It is the depression. You are very much alive and you have helped me so much and others!!

When you feel the most dead, just talk back to that feeling and tell it all about how much you are loved by your PC friends. Let it know how much you DO mean to people.

It may not make that feeling go away, but it will tell it that you are not just willing to give into it.

I am here for you, and...

I love ya, friend....

[marvin_pa]

What you wrote makes perfect sense to me, but it's not whining babysteps - it feels like it because there isn't a quick way to work through what can be a very draining, exhausting & desperately lonely place to be. People who haven't been there themselves really have no idea & even if they knew how to relate, the thought processes at work frequently make us push ourselves away. Cyberspace eases that isolation reflex somewhat & here, in this place, there are people who definitely can relate - it's why they're here too and it's how we help each other. Remember, it was you who managed to crack a smile out of a highly depressed Marvin not so long ago!

[Naturefreak]

((Yupitsme)) ((JayS)) ((notz)) ((alaskan)) ((idontknow))
((Rohag)) ((justfloating)) ((Elysium))

Hugs to all for your replys
Hugs to all who didn't reply

Thanks my good friends for taking the time to listen and offer your advice and encouragment . I appreciate you all very much

[keepinghopeful]

I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way. I think that we've all felt this way, and it can be such a deep dark place. We're all here to listen, and to hopefully give you some encouragement.

I haven't been here long, but I sure appreciate your kindness and the cute pictures and notes that you leave on my page.

I hope that you feel better soon. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

((((((((Babysteps09)))))))))

[John59]

Originally Posted by Babysteps09

I just feel like crying , but I can't
I just feel so angry , frustrated , lonely , exhausted , sad
It's like I'm all alone in this world , living in a body that's
already dead. I really don't know how to explain it in words.
For anyone that has never been alone , I hope you never will
have to experience it. Everyday I look forward to spending
time with my cyber friends who have been so kind and good
to me , and I just want to say I appreciate each and every
one of you . It's a vicious cycle , I can't seem to find a
way out of this rut . It feels like I don't have enough energy
to go on . Thanks for listening to me whine about how my
life is so tough . Oh I got it so bad .
I must remember most of you are dealing with your own
issues and still manage to make me feel like I'm loved .
Sorry if this doesn't make sense . I question my sanity alot.

Hang in there. Try to keep going. I'v been going through similar experinces all week. It does get better.

[googley]

Babysteps,
You deserve just as much support as anyone else. And you give out support all the time! We all care about you. I know it can go in cycles. It makes us feel bad and guilty. But that isn't true. We may need extra support at times, but that is okay. We are able to give other people support at other times. We enjoy having you here.

[kidpsychnurse]

Originally Posted by Babysteps09

I just feel like crying , but I can't
I just feel so angry , frustrated , lonely , exhausted , sad
It's like I'm all alone in this world , living in a body that's
already dead. I really don't know how to explain it in words.
For anyone that has never been alone , I hope you never will
have to experience it. Everyday I look forward to spending
time with my cyber friends who have been so kind and good
to me , and I just want to say I appreciate each and every
one of you . It's a vicious cycle , I can't seem to find a
way out of this rut . It feels like I don't have enough energy
to go on . Thanks for listening to me whine about how my
life is so tough . Oh I got it so bad .
I must remember most of you are dealing with your own
issues and still manage to make me feel like I'm loved .
Sorry if this doesn't make sense . I question my sanity alot.

I think we all question our sanity at points in life.. I have considered myself wacked three times already and it is just 1039! The trick is to celebrate the little joys and the little spots of light amidst dark clouds. The world is viscious and cruel, but there are those times when we can experience joy. The beauty in a simple sunset, the laugh of a child. That is what sees me through to yet another day on this spining wheel. Hang in there and keep putting on foot in front of the other!

[Knitnut]

Babysteps,
I have not read the replies to this thread...

First, your thread title..."I'm already dead" brings sincere sadness to me. I hope in my heart that this is not how you truly see life.

Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them - every day begin the task anew. ~~Saint Francis de Sales (1567 - 1622)

If anyone has not already figured it out, I love quotations. I find that they are insightful and thought provoking. Once upon a time it would take me a good while to figure out what the message was, the intent behind the word. I have gotten better at it today. My favorite site is www.quotationspage.com...I can put any word in the search and find just about anything. I now collect quotes that bring meaning to me.

You know you are not alone since you know you have your cyber friends. I too seek solice from my cyber friends here and on a neurology forum.

Alone...this is something I can and do identify with on a daily basis. I have been alone since my marriage broke up 24 years ago. Why? For good reason, but I know for most of those years I would not have been a good partner for anyone.

It is a vicious cycle, but not finding the end to your suffering would be sad. It has taken me many years to see that there is light at the end of this tunnel. Don't let it take you as many years as it has taken me!! Please!!

[lynn P.]

I think it's wonderful to have cyber friends - but I think you're longing for a real person connection. You have a great online personality which I'm sure is just as nice in person. Could this be what's making you feel sad?? I think you're a very funny person, who is also very caring. I hope you feel better soon.

[Naturefreak]

(((keepinghopeful)) ((John59)) ((googley))((bigcasper))((Lynn P.))

Thank you all for your input. I appreciate it.

[turquoisesea]

((((((((((((((((((((babysteps)))))))))))))))))))))

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((Babysteps09))))

My friend you are not alone and everything you said makes perfect sense. Know that you are not crazy. It is a lonely world out here and sometimes the weight of everything barring down can seem so heavy and lonely. I can relate to what you said in many ways.

I know it is hard but here you have many friends that really care and love you very much. Reaching out is a step in the right direction. Keeping yourself amongst online friends is important. You have been such an inspiration to me and a good friend. I count it a blessing to know you.

Please know you are not already dead. You wrote and you reached out. That is showing that there is still hope and life in there. We are here for you always. Whether night or day, you can find someone here. We are ready to walk this path with you until you find the light. The darkness cannot last forever.

Keep reaching out here and posting. Letting out what you feel can be so much help. Knowing that someone cares and is here for you can give you strength to fight. You are always there for others and we want to be here for you. Know that we love you and send gentle hugs your way. PM me anytime you need to. Love you.

dps

[Naturefreak]

Originally Posted by kidpsychnurse

I Hang in there and keep putting on foot in front of the other!

my problem is one step forward , two steps back

Thanks for the reply . I missed it originally . Sorry 'bout that

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((Babysteps09))))

Still here with you and holding a light for you to see the path. Even if one step forward and two steps back----you are still moving. We are right here beside you. Just keep reaching out. Love you.

dps

[susan888]

(((Chris)))
You are a wonderful person! I am so sorry you feel bad..It does help me to post (gets some of the ick out of my head), so keep doing that. Thinking about you and I hope you have a beautiful day!

Susan

[Wants2Fly]

BabySteps -- I can related in a deep way to what you've expressed. Sometimes it feels like way. What has helped me a bit sometimes (nothing seems to work all the time) is to remind myself -- This is my disease talking to me. It's not really me.

Hugs and hugs and hugs and even more hugs . . .