Sorry

For the last 23 yrs I have been with the same man
no matter how he treated me I stayed
He never hit me but he would yell at me and call me names
make me feel about 2 inches tall at times
and all though I should not be surprised my daughter is the same
she tells me that I am an ab**er no better then my f***er
(if she only knew the half of it)
so 2 weeks ago I packed up and I left brave move no
my son informs me that all I have done is take the
cowards way out and run,I swear I tried to work things
with my daughter at least all to no avail she just hates me
pure and simple and I know they are expecting me to go
back and there is a part of me that says yes you should
you are no better then your own mother she left and look at you
look what she left you to
but then there is another side of me that says you deserve better
better then all of this but do I........
I am so afraid of being alone and yet I am afarid to go back
I am crying a lot and I want to be held but not like he would
I wish my aunty was still here I miss her tenderness so much
I am so lost I just do not know what to do next.

To me it sounds like you needed to get away. If any part of your relationship with your daughter and this man you were with was abusive or you felt fearful of them, which is sounds like it was, then you have every right to leave and take care of yourself. I commend you for stepping up to protect yourself. I feel you do the right thing.

I know it is very hard to be alone. In mind you are not, I am here and I know other people here at PC stand by you. I am sending you lots of hugs.

Please do take care of yourself and remember, you need to take good care of you and do not deserve anything bad to happen to you. Mentally, phyically, or whatever. Take Care!

Starrina, here, no matter what, you stand ten feet tall.

I feel there is much more to your story than what you present in your short post. Are you able to analyze your situation without labels ("coward") or comparisons ("like your mother")? That can be difficult; your family has tended to mold your thinking about yourself in certain ways. Do you have a friend or counselor to assist you?

Wishing you the best of possible outcomes, whatever it may be!

((((starrina)))) I do not have an answer for you only hugs. Never be sorry for posting here. I hope things work out for you no matter what you do. Take care of yourself first.

Yes, you definitely deserve better. To work things out it takes an effort on both sides. You did your part, the rest doesn't depend on you. You're not a coward if you did your best to improve things On the contrary, you're very brave.

Remember you're not alone here, keep posting, we care

Stand strong, it's good you left. You are brave and courageous. You are no coward. If you take care of yourself and start treating yourself right, and make sure others treat you with respect, your children will eventually learn to respect you also. They haven't learned that yet because you haven't taught them that by your actions and dealings with other adults in your life.

I made the same mistake. My daughter has not spoken to me in over 6 years. Before that she did not treat me with respect or support because I never demanded that for myself. She only learned what I taught her - that other people could treat me like crap and I would take it. When I started changing, she stopped talking to me. That hurts like hell and I second guess myself every single day. But the bottom line is I now care about myself and take care of myself. Those people in my life who can accept and understand that are welcome. Those who can't no longer have a place in my life, though I wait with open arms for the time they can be part of my new life.

Keep taking care of yourself and keep your arms open.