In response to PM

I have purposely left out what was said to me and what it was in relation to. I think my response holds meaning even without the content of what I'm replying to. I hope the sender does not feel threatened or offended by my answering this way.

Having the ability to speak more clearly doesn't make a person stronger or less vulnerable. I am constantly invalidated because I'm smart and well spoken. My pain is dismissed because I do not react the same as others. And when I do react, I get torn apart because people are so convinced that I'm just an ordinary person with no problems worth acknowledging.

My brother used to defend me when we were kids, but he used to beat me up too. No one since has ever defended me. I fight all my battles alone. I struggle through life alone. I hurt far more than anyone cares to believe, because smart well spoken people can't possibly feel any amount of significant pain. Smart, well spoken people should be happy just for the fact of being smart well spoken people. Is it any wonder I have spent years trying not to be smart. Sometimes I hate it and wish it wasn't so. I wish I could be like everyone else so I could be treated like everyone else. But I cannot escape who I am. And as such I must suffer a life of isolation and invalidation.

I have no idea who sent you a PM but I will validate your feelings as being as real as anybody else's are. Who is anyone to judge the validity and/or intensity of someone else's feelings. Intelligence has absolutely no bearing on how much you hurt. I'm sorry that it seems that someone has told you that or implied that or whatever took place. I'm sorry for you having to go through life dealing with your hurts alone with no one to lean on. I'm here if you want someone to lean on, lean on me sweetie. You're not alone anymore.

((((((((((((((( Kalamity )))))))))))))))

Hello Kalamity --

I don't know know what happened, and I am sorry that you are feeling low.

I'm glad you posted, because I never saw that I have been treated this way, too, all my life. As if being smart, reasonable, well-spoken, is some kind of protection against hurt and pain, confusion, etc.

Another thing I'm sick of is people telling me, "You're strong. You'll get through this." Again, as if knowing the right words make one strong.

I hope I'm not hijacking your thread, Kalamity. Just wanted to say I know what you're talking about and I'm glad you brought it up. It is very helpful to me that you did. Thank you.

(((((((((((Kalamity))))))))))))

((((((((((((((((((((((KALAMITY)))))))))))))))))))))))))

Angel - thanks so much. You really are an angel.

W2F - </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Another thing I'm sick of is people telling me, "You're strong. You'll get through this." Again, as if knowing the right words make one strong.

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I get that one all the time too. It's very frustrating. It could be a nice thing but only if people didn't act like you don't need support.

Thank you esthersvirtue and jmo.

How are you feeling today Kalamity? I hope you're feeling more validated and that your mood is improving. Hang in there, keep posting and PM me anytime you want.

(((((((((((((((( Kalamity ))))))))))))))))

Hello Kalamity, welcome aboard, it's nice to meet you.

I,too, can relate to your post. I was raised this way, that image is everything. And being very bright brought with it, it's own set of issues. I won't call them problems exactly because being bright is a gift and not a curse. It had brought me far more good than bad. That being said, when it comes to my emotional state, I'm vulnerable and intense. I try not to show this side of me because it clashes so much with the idea ppl have of me. Strong, tough, stable, balanced, secure, self-esteem...the works. I learned to pretend quite well over the years I must say, lol. Because secretly, inside, I hurt. But God forbid anyone truly knew that, right?
This IS something I've thought about before and in fact have changed significantly over the last few years. I'm completely open about where I'm at with my bp illness with everyone I'm invovled with...work, bf, neighbors. I don't hide anymore, some can't handle it, others can. Regardless, it is what it is.
Basically, I just wanted to let you know that I understand where you're coming from. Keep sharing, you'll find us helpful and supportive and we'll encourage whenever and wherever you need it. TgrsPurr.

hmm if we ALL answer except the person who sent the PM, then we'll all know! (No it wasn't me either.)

But maybe along with being smart and all, you ARE strong too? It's tough when we are so depressed that even encouragement is dismissed and taken objectionably. Been there, done that probably will again.

For all those who said me too to this post. It's common fact that fast maturing or intelligent people always have emotional problems. The smarter you are the harder it is for people around you who are "common people" to speak to you about life. They assume you know what they will say. They assume sense you are smart you can handle/fix it your self. I too have struggled. Although I don't feel I'm smart or superior to others. As I normally put it. I'm not smart just other people are too dumb. I'm no rocket scientist. I can be taught a skill and master it in little to no time. Does that make me smart? No, that just means I pay attention. I'm a very negative person. Cause when I have problems people figure I don't need any help. That's makes me mad. When I cry I'm told to get over it. No, you get over it everyone needs to cry every now and then. So it's my turn now (any time I feel like it) . Don't let dummies make you made. Don't be offended when people don't want to help you. Their just not smart enough to give you answers or they themselves need just as much help. No one defends me in a bar at the grocery store where ever I have needed help no one has been there to stand up for me. I say the he!! with them all. You don't need people like that, always there but never caring for you. When I was at wally world, nine months pregnant. This lady skips me in line. I was so fat and so tired of standing there. 20 minutes to a pregnant lady is like an eight hour work day to others. So I told the lady that I was in line and there's no way she couldn't see me standing there. She told me to get over it and hit me in the stomach with my cart. The lady at the register just laughed. Ha Ha I was a hormonal mess. No body in a crowded store said hey she's been in line 20 minutes has some manners. So I went off and made my point clear she did get in front of me but I hit her with the cart and I went off. PS Don't mess with pregnant women. After I was about to brake down in tears for freaking out in public. This big guy 6'4 walks up and says I'm sorry she did that to you but I didn't know how to react. What? How about hey lady this isn't grade school get at the back of the line. Nope every one just watched me flip out. See that's how people are. So my point is don't let people get you down. Every one has flaws. Hold your head up high and remeber no one is perfect and no one person has all the answers.