?????

Dont know for sure whats wrong with me . Just feeling down. Sorry.

Bethy Poo, what ever your feeling I here with ya , your never alone dearheart
Angie

((((((((((((tryin))))))))))

Don't be sorry! We're always here to listen!

I am not sure what happened to me today. I was doing ok just a few hrs ago. And now i just feel really down and tearyeyed. Is this part of the cyclothymia ? I am just beginning to try to understand this . And I dont know why but I feel scared now . I think I am scared because I may never understand it , why I feel what I do when I do.And If I will ever get a handle on it. I told my t last week that I think my body is getting used to the lamictal and that I dont feel the good effects from it. He had me rate different things on how I think its working and why I dont think it is. I feel like there is supposed to be a friggin right or wrong answer and I know there isnt but I feel like I am being interrogated in a way about this. I'm sorry I know I am way off base, Its just that I almost feel ike one of these days during one of these questioning periods, I am gonna burst and lose it in there. That is not me, that is not who I am but yet this is part of me now . I cant fake it , I cant supress it , I have to deal with it. And I am not sure how. I am really lost here. And I am rambling arent I? I 'm so sorry.
Thanks Angie and Cateye for your replies. I appreciate your concern and support. Just wish I could understand myself better is all.

Beth

i've been on lamictal for about two months now....it took awhile for me to notice a difference. i pray that you're having a better day, today. i hate days like you had yesterday....please take care of yourself, okay? pat

((((((((((((((((((((((Beth)))))))))))))))))))))

I sure hope your feeling better today.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Tryin}}}}}}}}}}}
Wishing you all the best and thinking about you......
I was wondering how can you be down with kenny by your name? WHEW that is enough to get my blood moving.....yehaaaaw
just kidding....I know things are serious with you and I hope your feeling better today....take care

((((((((((Beth)))))))))

Hi my dear friend,

Understanding a illness is not that simple. We can understand that we have a broken bone and why we need a cast for it but understanding the what , why, when and ??? about an illness like depression is a difficult thing. Depression is a mental illness that also affect the body, our environment, people around us and our very soul. To understand would mean to be the illness itself but we are not. The illness is a part of us but not who we are.

I don't think that I will ever clearly understand what depression is, even if I do a lot of research on it, but I do fight to keep in mind that depression is an illness and not who I am.

Sometime we just can't explain or express ourself my dear friend, and it's ok. We all do this. We are all here and we are all your friend. We love you!

Many hugs!
nightdream

Sometimes it's best just to except our disorders without trying to understand it, as nightdream said
Angie

At least don't try to understand when you don't feel well! ((hugs))))

Thanks Pat, I have been on it for about a month and half now. And I noticed the changes in my moods balancing out in the second week. But now its going back downhill a bit. This is what is scaring me so. I see my T tomorrow so I will be talking to him about things . And I see my pdoc next week. We'll go from there.

Hugz~
Beth

Jen ,
I was hoping so too. But that is not the case I am afraid. I still have been tearyeyed today and sad. I just dont want to go back down that hill again like I was a few months ago. Thanks for the hugs.

Hugz~
Beth

Ohh Hope I normally would be smiling alot. This news has nothing to do with what I am going thru now with the cyclothymia but yet I am sorta sad about it. Kenny got married today to Renee Zelleweger~ EWWWWW. I am just shocked. He is too cute for her!

But seriously, I cant wait till this episode is over. And I hope I can get thru it ok. Thanks for your hugz and well wishes.

Hugz~
Beth

Thanks Erin and Mr Hokie for your hugz and support. Means alot to me!

Hugz~
Beth

Nightdream ,
Hon I realize this, But I just want to understand these cycles that are happening. And how to better handle them when they do. I am just trying to gain a better understanding of myself when this is going on. I know that this disorder is not who I am , but just a part of me. Kinda like having a sense of self. I also think that knowing this part of me will help me figure out what I am made of too. And further help my confidence. Dont know if I am making sense to all of you on this but its the best I can do right now in explaining it. Thanks for your hugs too!

Hugz!
Beth

Angie~ I know but as I explained,and I guess to further elaborate on this , is that I want to be informed.Its part of knowing myself. I have barely understood myself all my life and I finally feel like it is happening since I know what my dx is. Idont know how else to explain it , I'm sorry. Its no different to me than if I had cancer . I want to know what is going on , what is going to be happening to me etc. Maybe that better puts in in perspective IDK. Thanks for your kind advice hon. I appreciate it.

Hugz
Beth

Thanks Sky that is good advice. That is why I am hoping tomorrow when I see my T that he can help me sort thru things. Hopefully that will help me. Take care~

Hugz~
Beth

Dear beth, love your humor, it gets a lot of miledge. I am sorry for the down stuff. Life is a hard thing to live through. Man, late night here and a 17 yr old in melt down again.

Thanks WW~ I can tend to be silly sometimes.... alas the name Gigglebutt. Greg calls me that all the time lol. He gets it back though too with Muffinbutt lol. He is trying to get me to use Gigglebutt for my new emnail adddy lol. I am thinking hard on it lol.I think I will really need my head examined if I do that!

Sorry about your daughter hon. I am sure you will get her thru this ok.Your a wonderful person. Take care~

Hugz~
Beth

Hope the appointment with T was beneficial for you. Take care and keep your chin up facing all this Bethy.

Thanks Zh, It was. Got alot worked out and feeling good about it too. Thanks for your reply.

Hugz~
Beth

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Ohh Hope I normally would be smiling alot. This news has nothing to do with what I am going thru now with the cyclothymia but yet I am sorta sad about it. Kenny got married today to Renee Zelleweger~ EWWWWW. I am just shocked. He is too cute for her!

But seriously, I cant wait till this episode is over. And I hope I can get thru it ok. Thanks for your hugz and well wishes.

Hugz~
Beth

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

EEeeeeheeheee only a woman could consider anybody to be too cute for Renee Zellewegger.

But I digress... I really hope you're feeling better soon Beth.

i feel your pain about Kenny.....and i'm glad you're doing better, otherwise.....love, pat

HEY there Mister!He is too cute for her , she is so EWWWWWW!!!!
Thanks for your support though Rebound. I know you have a good heart and its always in the right place. I think your pretty cool yourself!

Lotsa Hugz~
Beth