[turquoisesea]

I can't handle it, i've been crying for an over an hour because someone called and said I have to take a shift tomorrow, my day off

I was just barely making it through today
I just can't do this

I've wanted to si
I have si'ed for the first time in a long time because of this

and I can't find


I'm a worthless failure
I can't do anything right I hate myself so much

I think i'm going to get fired tomorrow

[googley]

(((((((turquoisesea))))))

I am so sorry that you have to work on your day off. Could you get the person you are covering for to work for you on another day so that you still get a day off?

You are not worthless or a failure! Your urges to si look to be a response to the stress you are under. But you sound determined to keep yourself safe. Is there anyone you can talk to? Can you call your T for support? Is there anything you can put off for right now so that you don't feel so overwhelmed?

I hope you feel better when you wake up tomorrow and don't feel like you are going to get fired.

Please take care of yourself.

[turquoisesea]

person who supposed to work tomrrow is quitting don't think she has any

can't get to sleep still crying
scared not to wake up tomorrow and get fired but can't face it

was supposed to get to bed 2 hours ago now but cant

lost therapist this week and might not be able to get into school and can't practice and if can't practice let friend down and tomorrow was gonna make up for not practice rest of week but dunno how can do that now cuz have work

[turquoisesea]

*calms down a bit*

sorry for freaking.... still freaking but managing....

[jensasweetie]

I am so sorry

Huggs

Jen

[turquoisesea]

((((((((googley)))))))))
Thank you so much for the caring support and ideas
My T and I aren't really on talking terms right now - as far as I'm concerned. Part of my being upset is me feeling I am no longer able to trust her, I'm overwhelmed because I have to find a new one.

This is definitely all stress related, current events took the best of me. I freaked, I lost it. I'm glad I had my bf here to help keep me safer too, because today pushed me past a limit. I'm safe now.

I probably have to work tomorrow *somehow*
dunno how I'll pull it off, but right now, I'm just going to manage minute - by - minute till I am ready for sleep

thank you so much it means alot

[turquoisesea]

Originally Posted by jensasweetie

I am so sorry

Huggs

Jen

Thank you ((((((Jen)))))))

[justfloating]

((((((((turquoisesea)))))))))


I know how it feels when work seems to snatch away your time off. My work over the summer was like that. They called or cornered me when I was at work and had me take on lots of extra shifts. Sometimes I'd wind up working 9+days in a row at a job I hated with people who only stressed me out ... money's good, stress is not.

Is there any way you can say no to taking extra shifts? Maybe not this one, but if they call in the future can you tell them it's your scheduled day off and you already have plans? It was the only thing I could do to get my bosses to leave me alone, tell them I was already busy. Technically, I don't believe they're allowed to make you work if you've been scheduled to have time off. It's very hard to say no when you're called in to work -- you want to make a good impression, you want to be reliable, and you do end up making extra money. But hon, that's not really worth what you're going through now, is it? The other thing that worked for me when I was at another job was to stop working Sundays. Pick a day of the week that you want to belong entirely to you, and then change your availability with your work so that they can't schedule you for that day any more. That way, you know that you're going to get at least one day all to yourself that you don't have to agree to work because you've specifically said you can't.

Work and depression really don't mix, I know. Sending lots of hugs and hoping you get some sleep and feel better in the morning.

[turquoisesea]

(((((((((((((((justfloating)))))))))))))))

You're right, I do need the day. I'm so glad someone understands that. I have trouble standing up for myself, I DO feel like I want to be reliable and all that. I've told them I'm unavailable on Sundays unless I'm the only person left and they're desperate. But still... I get a call and I'm getting the idea I was NOT the last person called in.
What I'm going through now is NOT worth it at ALL youre, so right.

I'm sorry you've had to go through something like this too ((((((justfloating)))))))

thank you so much, this means a lot

[lonegael]

(((((turquoisesea))))) I'm so glad to hear you slowing down there. For a bit you were going a mile a minute! I think that Justfloating has some very good ideas and i'm glad you seemed to be taking in it. Just wanted to leave some hugs and say I hope things feel better tomorrow, hon.

[Rohag]

((((((( Turquoisesea! ))))))

*still looking for the "de-stress recipient" button*