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#1
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ye i havent posted alot of these things at all but im really unsure what to do lately and any comments or advice at all would really be appreciated
basically i was diagnosed with depression (& dysthymia? think its called) about 2 years ago.was put on meds went to talk to people etc.got better for a while then worse.then for a long while i was finethen again worse.and then again (i know) better again but the past few months (over half a year) ive been having really down feelings a lot of the time.ive been sucidal for blocks of between 2-3hours to weeks.and in between weeks where im fine again ,everythings normal.there has been a large number of occasions where im just fed up with everything and am actually going to do it,attempt it and realise half way through that im not even strong enough to do that and end up cryin myself to sleep jus hopin g i wont wake up. now i live at home and my parents dont know about these moods for the past 6-9 months. i really dont know how to tell them at all. theyre as helpful/friendly as can be but id jus feel like im letting them down so much because they always say how proud they are of me for gettin better.i go to a psychiatrist tryin to hint and tell him about all this but of course he's oblivious to it all and i only see him every 6months(this is a free service). so what i really want advice is what to do?im stuck i have friends but i dont feel i can talk to them and theyve said they dont feel they can talk to me properly about this stuff either.i really need someone to point me in the right direction. really any advice or comments really would be nice. thanks if you read all that ![]() carriexo |
#2
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Talk with your doctor immediately when you start having bad thoughts. Maybe you can have a session with your folks and the doctor and you can let them know what is up. It would kill your parents if they knew you were thinking about harming yourself. They love you more than ever. Also, speak with your doctor about mood stabilizers. If you are just on an antidepressant, sometimes it can push you into hypomania or if you don't have enough you might stay depressed. It definitely sounds like you are doing a lot of cycling. Please speak up with the doctor. I care. Sending good thoughts. phoenix47baby
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Phoenix47 |
#3
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Hiding what is really going on is not helping you. Honesty can be difficult and doesn't always lead to great responses but from my own experiences honesty is the better choice. My pride and fear caused me to hide for many years. I put on masks, trying to appear "normal", and it just wore me out and made me angry and resentful. No one can help if they don't know what is going on can they?
just my thoughts, Judy
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However confused the scene of our life appears, however torn we may be who now do face that scene, it can be faced, and we can go on to be whole. |
#4
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Quote:
whats very confusing is sometimes my mood can change in the space of 10mins to half hour then in even less than half an hour it can change again for no reason . Any thoughts on this I'd like how to prevent it? Thanks a lot for the thoughts ,I do appreciate it ![]() |
#5
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Your situation reminds me of mine some time ago. I see the cycling and really a mood stabilizer may help. Are you keepnig tracks of your mood high and lows? Docs don't always are so careful to remember exactly. I prepared a chart for pdoc, and he actually sorted out the good med! I really think pills can do something for you.
My suggestion is DON'T talk about suicide to anyone who can't understand. Not your parents and not your friends. But DO talk about it with any doc and psych you deal with (and try to deal with some ASAP). Good luck! |
#6
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Hi Carrie,
It sounds like you've been through the wringer, emotionally. ![]() If you're having suicidal thoughts, then something is seriously wrong. You are NOT weak for having those thoughts or for feeling the way you do. LOTS of people feel that way, including me, so I know what you're going through, and I know from experience that simply trying and "thinking happy thoughts" does absolutely nothing. I agree with stefano -- don't talk about your feelings to anyone you're uncomfortable sharing them with. If you can't talk to your family and friends, then talk to a professional, even if it's just to call your local suicide hotline to talk to someone there. On those occasions where you are feeling so suicidal you don't feel safe, please, please get to the hospital. Your parents will not be disappointed that you are taking steps to save your life -- but they WILL be crushed if they lose their child. I think you've explained your feelings really well in your posts. Why don't you print them out and take them with you to the doctor? I liked stefano's suggestion of keeping a mood chart. Maybe by tracking your moods you'll be able to get a better handle on what might be triggering them, like weather, changes in the season, particular things that come up in your life, etc. As for what to do in the short term -- and I stress short term because I really don't believe they're going to rid you of depression completely, only professional help will do that -- try to be good to yourself. If you feel your mood starting to slip, stop what you're doing if you can, take a few deep breaths, and try to clear your mind. Light exercise has been shown to lift mood, as has a balanced diet. And pampering yourself never hurt ... a bubble bath, listening to your favourite CD or watching a movie (nothing sad, though!!!!) always help me. ![]() Good luck! I'm glad you posted, and I hope you keep us updated on how you're doing. ![]()
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Rebecca "If you're going through hell -- keep going." - Winston Churchill It's better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection. - Elizabeth Gilbert Bring on the wonder, we got it all wrong, we pushed you down deep in our souls, so hang on. Bring on the wonder, bring on the song, I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long. - Susan Enan http://igetupagain.wordpress.com/ |
#7
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i havent ben keepin track of my mood by time,weather etc but more how i feel (as i was told to do this before.)it never occured to me to do that.i'll try that from now on.
its the first time anyone has suggested a mood disorder. ive really only been told i have depression .its interesting tho.i'll do some research into it.ive had loads of blood tests done but all of those were regarding severe tiredness and depression i have(still cant find the cause o_o).theyve ruled out a thyroid problem and other physical factors. unforunetly i feel i cant relax a lot because its my final year in school and i have huge exams at the end of the year.probaby the most important of my live..sounds quite scary and yes it is.so that really doesnt help at all. i think i will try and make an appt with the doctor at least,quite a few people have suggested it and i suppose i jus needed to hear it from somone else. a huge big hug and thank you for all the help and support ive been recieving in such a short space of time.really really thank you everyone ![]() x |
#8
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![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Leave the psychological stuff to the pros . I'm only good for hugs and the occasional joke. I hope you get on the right track . Take care and good luck. ![]()
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#9
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Making an appt with a doctor sounds like a great idea. Print out your posts and take them with you, as you are good at describing how you feel. Bear in mind that you could go to a hospital if the doctor believes that you would follow through with your suicidal ideas or if you have made a plan to do so. But you should not feel guilty for having these or other depressed feelings. Realize that feeling guilty is just another symptom of depression or of the depressed portion of your mood disorder. There are hotline #'s at the top of the depression board, in the event that you should feel in danger from the thoughts of harming yourself. Please use them. Keep posting here, and you will find excellent support, understanding friends, and good information. billieJ
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#10
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idk now my minds changin again.when i look back on these posts.it all seems so stupid.idk how to explain it but i feel if i go make an appointment theyll say im fine theres nothing wrong everyone has this and then theyll think im makin a big deal over nothing or just tryin to be like this to get attention.
it jus doesnt make sense to me now.i feel im jus ..idk i cant explain :/ |
#11
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If I booked an appt what would I say is the problem how would I bring it up
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