[Overcastbutclearing]

I shouldn't have these thoughts swirling in my head.
I had a good first week at the new job. I saw my T this week and had a good appointment, I spent time with my sister, I saw a friend I have known for 24 years. My week was busy. If you looked at it as you were watching a movie you would think I was fine....
But then these thoughts come flying in from god knows where.
They shout at me. They say I am nothing. They say whatever it is I am longing for will never be gained and true happiness can come only with death.
Then I start to question my life,my existence.
I try to silence these thoughts but they grow darker, deeper. They hiss in my head.
And I don't want to tell anyone they are as noisy now as they even have been because I will not survive through it.
This has got to stop. One way or another....
I try so hard to make people proud of me. I want people to think how well I am doing so they are not suspicious of me.
But seriously, I have lived this way for so long that it is going to hard to continue.
WHEN WILL THE THOUGHTS STOP???

[cat_eye]

(((((((((((sj)))))))))))))

Tell those damn thoughts to leave you the hell alone!

[Myzen]

sj,

I'm with you on this one. My own strategy has developed into toleration rather than a straight fight with the thoughts. The secret for me is to distinguish between what I want to think about and the babble of negativity which jumps up and down in my head during the day.

If I have a negative thought which is self judging and critical I treat it as the babble, every time, and there is a lot of it, just as it seems to be for you at the moment. Some people recommend that it's possible to 'change the channel' like on a TV set. I haven't really been able to do that, but I can turn the volume down, and then there are long stretches when you don't listen to it anymore.

Meditation helps, relaxation exercises, positive visualisation and of course keeping busy in the 3d world.

You're not alone with this one, sj, and I hope it gets easier for you soon.

Good thoughts (appropriately) to you, Myzen

[Hope4me2]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{SJ}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
I am with you on this one.....you are not alone.. I am and have been feeling the same way.........I hope things get easier for you soon too........My T tells me to tell the voices to SHUT up and LEAVE ME ALONE and say it LOUDLY...or course when you alone somewhere.....hang in there dear friend............take care
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

susan, i don't know if we can ever stop them. i have them, on a daily basis. lately, i've had more than usual. i have to distract myself with work or the animals...anything that i can come up with........xoxo pat

[Overcastbutclearing]

Thanks everyone for the support and letting me know I am not the only one going through this.

[jmo531]

((((((((((((((((((((((SJ))))))))))))))))))))))

You are so not alone. When these thoughts creep up on me it takes it's toll. Very hard to deal with. Then, somehow, some strength from with in me takes over and will not accept the negativity. I hold on to what ever hope I can. Just to make it through. Try to counter act those negative thoughts with positive ones. Please know that your not alone.

[wisewoman]

Well, I have a few ideas that may sound crazy but they have worked for me and others at times so here goes. If you like to swing, swing long and hard and think of flying. Concentrate on the motion. Make a weighted eye bag from rice or millet and lavender. The weight on your eyes may bring comfort. Does weight on your lap comfort you? Lap bags, made of rice can be calming for people. Play your very own music with head phones to drown out the inside noise. Find a very quiet place that speaks to you on the inside in a calm way so the noise is stilled. I know what the noise/loudness in the head sounds like for me. I also swim. Backstroke with my head in cold water is extra soothing for my soul. I hope the noise stills for you. I am wishing you peace.