how to stop negative thoughts

does anybody out there know how to do this??

Hi carlyle,

Welcome to PC!

We can't stop what our brains think about, but we can know that we don't have to believe or give creedence to every thought that comes to our minds. Sometimes it's a matter of changing our thought pattern when a negative thought comes along....practicing this helps and in time becomes second nature and we don't even think about the process, we just do it


sabby

((carlyle )))
Can not agree more with sabby

Sometimes what i think are neg thoughts are just me working htrew the problem
May sound neg at first ....but kinda me just putting it out on the table

Hope ((sabby)) helped or I
tc
muffy

I agree ... plus, it's good if you can self-talk, like either see your negative thoughts throught to it's conclusion ... and work from there or just say 'NO' as many times as it takes to stopping a specific negative thought.

The best, for me though, is distraction!

I am becoming a master, although sometimes it's expensive (if I retail therapy, lol).

Get up from wherever you are at the time of incoming thought bombardment, take cover in an ordinary activity, like pouring a cup of fresh coffee, getting the car to get some, or making your bed or changing bedding to fresh sheets, throwing in a wash, going to get the mail, washing a window, vacumning the downstairs, eat a cookie, you get the idea.

Nothing works better.

I personally like popping in a video!
Or coming here.
Or shopping.
Or any one of the chores I need to do.

The more negative thoughts I have, the cleaner my house! True.

peace and good thoughts of accomplishments,
nightbird

Good ideas. Here's another: Write down everything you are thinking. It gets it out of your head and on paper. At the top of the page you can write, "Don't forget to worry about:"

I notice that I'm very good at documenting my bad days, but not really good about documenting the good ones, I think I'll have to work on that so I have something in writing that is good, not all bad.

Try this: Do NOT think about oranges for 10 seconds.

Could you do it? Not really... Trying not to think about something is an ironic process... The more we try not to think about something the more we find ourselves thinking about it.

It struck me as something of a revelation that just because a thought occurs in my mind that doesn't mean I believe it or endorse it. I thought... That if a thought occurred to me then that meant that I did believe or endorse it. Now I think that thoughts just do occur to one. We pick them up from all kinds of places. What people have said to us in the past, what we hear on TV, what we hear other people say to each other etc etc etc.

I quite often find thoughts occurring to me like 'I hate myself', 'I wish I was dead', 'I never asked to be born' etc etc etc. Habit mostly, I think. I used to feel a real sense of endorsement for those thoughts when they occurred to me, too.

Now I've learned to try and think kindly of myself when those thoughts occur to me. Kind of like... If I heard a person say 'I hate you' or 'I wish you were dead' to a little kid then I'd want to comfort that kid. I kind of... Give myself an inner hug. And try and step back from the thought and think 'yeah, that occurred to me, but that doesn't mean I believe it and it doesn't mean it is true'. I find that those thoughts occur to me when I'm feeling fragile. I think it has become my bodies way of telling me that I need to take some special care of myself. I try and divert my attention onto something nice and pleasant (rather than trying to counter the thoughts which only seems to antagonize them and make them stronger). So... I'll get a sense of enjoyment in looking at a tree and thinking the structure of the branches and leaves is wonderful. Or I'll take a nice bath and try and enjoy the warm and comforting sensations. Something like that. Take a couple deep breaths and feel a bit more centered and self contained.

I'm also becoming aware that those thoughts are likely to occur to me if I'm feeling frustrated with myself. If I think I handled something badly or something like that. I try and say (and endorse) things like 'yeah, I probably didn't handle that in the best possible way. - Fond, sympathetic grin to myself - But I did the best I could at the time. It was nice that I tried... I am a good person really :-) Maybe next time that kind of situation arises I could do x or y or z instead... I think the key is to do things like this very very gently.

It does get better with time. Slowly... Gradually... Gently. I think our body is trying to tell us something when those thoughts occur to us. How would you comfort a kid if someone told them some negative stuff? Can you comfort yourself in a similar way?

Kim...you are definitely onto something there. Isn't it a great feeling to know that just because we think something negative or worrisome doesn't mean we have to accept that thought as being true.

I think the steps you take to veer away from the negative thoughts are great and something we can all learn from and teach ourselves to do. They are simple enough yet carry such positive weight.

I'm really glad you can help yourself through those times of negative thoughts. Thanks for sharing them


sabby

> Kim...you are definitely onto something there. Isn't it a great feeling to know that just because we think something negative or worrisome doesn't mean we have to accept that thought as being true.

Yeah, it is. It is like what you said:

>>We can't stop what our brains think about, but we can know that we don't have to believe or give creedence to every thought that comes to our minds.

I remember that being an absolute revelation for me. Quite liberating.

Kim,
What you are onto is a part of what's called "mindfulness meditation". An actual experiment was done asking people not to think of white elephants, while showing another group a white elephant but giving them no direction. Anyways, the group that was instructed not to think of a white elephant thought of it more often and not just in the hour or so of the experiment.

This knowledge is now use for people with OCD who have intrusive thoughts. You don't actually have to meditate, but like you said, just treat the thought as if you were thinking about "what you had for supper a few nights ago." It does work

Yeah. It comes up in the context of (experimental) cognitive psychology as well. It is called an 'ironic' thought process. The idea is that if you bear the task description in mind as you need to in order to do the task (e.g., 'do not think about x') then that undermines your achieving the task (e.g., not thinking about x).

"Thoughts are just thoughts." So simple but true.

We don't have to accept them or even judge them. Just watch them float by. Now I know where the phrase "Well, that's a thought!" might have come from.

I usually do distraction, or I use my mind to think in the now. I try not to project, (think negitive of), the future, or look back (think negitive of the past), with regret. There are many self help books on the market for quieting the mind and slowing down thoughts as well as being positive.

Have you ever read "The Power of Positive Thinking" by Napolian Hill or, The Power of NOW by Eckhardt Tolle?
Both are powerful books.

Good luck,

thanks for the info; it's very helpful. I was told to use a rubber band sometimes to help me stop my negative thoughts; anybody else have success with that? I haven't tried it.

thanks, very helpful stuff. Someone suggested I use a rubber band. Any thoughts on that?

I'm in a group led by a therapist doing DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy). It deals with precisely with these kinds of things. Maybe look for a book at the library...--Suzy

Related to what Kim Johnson said- I find it helpful to 'collect' supportive phrases so I can let myself off the hook when negative thoughts come in. So if the negative thought is "Geez I'm an idiot" I think about it for a bit and then rebut it with something like "well I could not have been expected to know that" or "its easy to make mistakes the first time" or "anyone could have messed that one up" That way you're not denying yourself your feelings- you FEEL like an idiot, and that's ok, but you acknowledge that in fact, no one is perfect, you're no worse than anyone else, so it remains a feeling, and not an absolute truth.
Another thing I do when I am stressed is to write down everything that is stressing me out on a big list. Often I come up with 10 or 12 things, and when that's done I see it in perspective: Geez NO WONDER i forgot to take the rubbish out tonight- I'm putting up with a of stress lot in my life right now! Often the list makes me realise what good coping skills I do have, and that helps me to forgive a smaller thing.
hope it helps you!
MissE

The rubber band thing works by "snapping you out of" the thought :-) It's kinder to yourself to just replace it with a good one?

I invented 3 guys in togas with a Greek Corinthian column and when I caught myself putting myself down I'd yell in my head, "Support!" and they'd come running in from one side/ear and put it up in the dome of my head and then run off toward the other side/ear I loved it and it worked fine, would get me smiling and feeling loved and supported by myself.

I enjoyed this thread...have been working on replacing negative thoughts with positive ones...it is difficult....but I'll get there!

TJ