I'm sooooooo depressed...........

I'm sooooooo depressed.
I don't even care about anything anymore. What's to care about? Absolutely nothing.
I haven't been brushing my teeth much lately because I just don't care any longer (my teeth brushing takes me 1-1.5 hours, and flossing 1 hour-because of my OCD) It's not like that is going to make me happy anyway.
I'm just d***.

I can't find a job to save my life either.
Been out of work since beginning of May- don't know what I'm going to do. I could of probably actually gotten offered this one job last week at a preschool but I didn't want it- I called them back and said I was going to keep looking. (I really dread working at another preschool center- I haven't done that for years- I've been working as a nanny and want another one of those but I haven't been able to find one) What the **** is wrong with me??? I know I'm a stupid idiot for not just taking that job since I'm desperate at this point. I don't know what the heck is wrong with me. I obviously have Stupid written on my forehead!
I'm worthless anyway. I just want to crawl into a hole and ***.

((((Autumn)))) I hear the old depression lies coming back up dear. Don't believe them. You are not worthless. It take more that unemployment and unbrushed teeth to stripp you of worth, and really, I don't see it. You sound like you are in pain and frustrated but worthless? Nah. Rant on, if you need to, honestly, better out than in, but know that a lot of that stuff is the Big D talking, and it's not true, Autumn, not at all. Hugs, hon.

Stupid. Wise. Sometimes only a hairsbreadth separates those two. Time may prove your decision to pass up the undesirable preschool center job the better choice.

Such decisions confront "normal" people all the time. They weigh their options, they consider their aptitudes, situation and desires, and they go one way or another. That's what you did, and rationally.

May you find satisfying work that conforms to you.

(((Autumn)))
Sending a couple of hugs your way.
Take care .................

I am super depressed too. More than ever...
Yeah... I am not functioning properly. I can barely get up.
I am stuck to bed. I really don't want to deal with anything.
I was in too much pain to go out to see my physio. All I want to do is sleep.
I don't want to open my eyes. I just want to sleep sleep sleep...
Don't want to wake up at all...

I am just freaking tried of everything.

I hear ya.

Autumn - You and I have been sharing lovely changing of the color of leave photos.
If you could possible, you never know take that as an eye opening example that Change is in the air - FOR YOU.
It will come. It does seem like forever when we feel like we've been stuck for so long............
Also sounds like a career change is exactly what is going to come into your life..................
It will come Autumn - I promise
Just some things just take there dang time..........!!!!!!!!

Thank you lonegael, Rohag, Babysteps, thetimeis944 and starlite*111.
I just feel so empty.