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#1
May 15, 2005, 08:35 PM
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Lately I've been noticing all the things I do that I hate. The way I talk to other people, the way I look, the way I think, the way I act. I mean it doesn't sound like a big deal but it's really started to get to me. Why do I snap so easily, who am I to snap at anyone? Why can't I relax? Why do I say such nasty things to people who don't deserve them? I can't understand myself and it's constantly pushing me further and further into a self-hatred that I haven't felt this intensely before. I'm tired of who I am. I'm afraid of who I'll become.
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"Next, don't go to Europe to 'find yourself.' Who told you you were over there anyway?" -The Colbert Report on 'Things Not To Do After Graduating College' |
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#2
May 15, 2005, 09:06 PM
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((((((((((((((((((((((((YES)))))))))))))))))))
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#3
May 15, 2005, 11:27 PM
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{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{YES}}}}}}}}}}}}}
You sound like you describing me....I know that is of no comfort right now....but just realize your not alone in your struggles...I too am doing the same thing take care 
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"My Therapist always says there is HOPE, so he continues to be my light of HOPE even on my darkest of days" |
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#4
May 16, 2005, 06:04 AM
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Hi Yes,
I think it's a simple equation, we feel ill so we are snappy. When people are feeling fine, they rarely snap. Maybe we should try to forgive ourselves for showing the strain sometimes, and just be clear with everyone that we are carrying the weight, and that it's hard for us. Having said all that, I work real hard on keeping my temper, so who am I to advise anyone? Just letting you know that I've been there I guess. Peaceful thoughts to you, Myzen |
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#5
May 16, 2005, 09:30 AM
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Hello Yesitsme --
Here's what helped me when I started noticing the things about myself that I didn't like -- and it intensified my depression and lack of self-esteem. (1) I put myself through outpatient alcohol and substance abuse treatment. I didn't realize it, but alcohol and many others, such as marijuna, are depressants and can intensify the depression. (2) I got involved in a small church with an emphasis on positive thinking psychology. No, I don't necessarily believe that we can positive-think ourselves out of depression. But being in a small, loving community where I got a lot of hugs and had a lot of role models was helpful. I hope you find a path that works for you.
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#6
May 16, 2005, 02:26 PM
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(((((((((((((((((((YESit'sMe
 )))))))))))))))I do believe it was Gandhi who mentioned something about "If you want to change the world around you; start with yourself"? You got the general idea? And go someplace where you can get some REAL help and HONEST support!!!!!!   DAYZEE9 
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"DIVERSITY: The art of thinking independently together" ---MS Forbes |
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#7
May 17, 2005, 06:02 AM
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Hi folks,
I agree with Wants about the community thing. I go to a healing group where we meditate together. When the angry/sad/irritable thoughts come up I can see them so clearly during the meditation and I can disengage from them, and no one else even knows it's happening. Last week I was next to guy who seemed really calm and after the session he told me that he had been fielding the crap as well, just like me. I think the vibes of the group are really important, and as wants says, positivity is the key - after all it's negativity that we are fighting against. Cheers, Myzen |
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#8
May 18, 2005, 01:53 AM
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I'm have been the same way, for years on end. And just noticing it now has left me pretty much where you are. Like everyone else is saying, I hope the broads here can help you, becuase I know it canbe pretty hard sometimes.
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#9
May 18, 2005, 02:04 AM
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Just adding another thing.....
It is also hard trying to accpet yourself. Like trying to say you are still worthy even if you have character flaws (and everybody has them-others just cope with it differently). I don't know if this helps, but since your description of yourself reminds me of me, it might. That fact that you have noticed this behavior and see how it is maladaptive and are seeking help shows that you are not only growing as a perosn, but that you want change and want to be a better you!!! All of what I just said are at least 3 postive things about yourself you can hold on to, but I know there are more than that, the problem is YOU have to know it too....and eventually you will. 
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#10
May 18, 2005, 10:07 AM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
II hope the broads here can help you, </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Were you referring to some of us older gals here at the Forums? Or did you mean the boards? teehee
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#11
May 18, 2005, 04:32 PM
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I know w2f meant "boards" but take it from this broad... this is a good place to come for support (all of you & me too.) yesitsme, how are you doing this week???
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