[tryingtobeme]

This ship is sinking very quickly. I have been praying that something good will happen and people will understand me...but they don't.

My life is in turmoil, and people have left me. Even some on here. I am jsut to much for everyone. I can't take my any more. It's just to hard to keep trying and trying to get no where.

I "try to be me" but no on cares how I feel or my opinions....idk any thing...I don't know which way to turn...I guess there isn't any way but down....people don't want to talk to me or see me post on here, I guess i should just stop, delete this???? no on cares to read it.

I have begged people to talk to me, help me, be there for me....they say they will be but never are....that's what my life is, just keep messing it up second after second....idk....

[lonegael]

((((((((TTBM))))))))) OK? Need to talk? I can generally only be on a bit int he evenings cause of my work, but I read what you have to say and it sounds like you feel very alone and very discounted. What happened?

[gimmeice]

((((((((((((((( tryingtobeme )))))))))))))))))))))))

I am sending you lots of hugs Keep posting hun

[Rohag]

((((((( Tryingtobeme! )))))))

About a couple of weeks ago, you posted

I feel your pain xxx. We can feel this together

Those few words held a world of caring and compassion.

You helped somebody, and that was but one of many occasions. You matter. Your words matter. Your feelings - expressed or unexpressed - matter. We may fail to appreciate you, but that's our failing, not yours.

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((tryingtobeme))))

I am here and I can hear you. I feel the pain you are feeling and the loneliness. You are not alone. You are worth something. It is not that we do not want to hear you. We are here for you. Can you tell us what is going on?

I have not been around like I was before. I am trying to find my way back. I am dealing with something that is very hard. But maybe together we can help each other. I know the loneliness you feel. I hear the pain you are speaking of.

Know you are not alone. That sinking ship has been spotted and a life boat is on its way. We are here for you. Just reach out and take our hand...................................................................................we will not let you go. I am sitting quietly beside you and listening. Please keep posting and talking.

Know we care and will weather this storm together. Two are much stronger than one. And many can defeat that depression fighting together and uplifting one another. We are here to walk with you until you can find your way. We are holding a flashlight for you to see.

Sending you many gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

BLACK is YOU \ / RED is ME

Originally Posted by tryingtobeme

This ship is sinking very quickly.
I have always jokingly said I'm a fruit loop still floating on water.
Try to not let the milk over take youriness - whatever that is

I have been praying that something good will happen and people will understand me...but they don't.
Praying is Always good - Ask and you shall we receive - BUT in his time

My life is in turmoil,
Life is exactly as you say 'there is always some kind of stupid Drama.
BUT - you don't have to accept the Drama.
If it too much walk away - just do it.... You need not to explain anything to anyone (like you said they wouldn't care.. anyway)

Believe me I am NOT being negative with this - I am speaking of my own situations over and over.
How my feelings were always hurt, and I was always lonely, didn't understand why people wouldn't stay around.
I always wanted to fit in, be understood - I actually used to pray for friends.

and people have left me. Even some on here. I am jsut to much for everyone.
BUT, people have their OWN issues that they haven't dealt with nor might not even Know they have them
SO they can't be there for you - They are not there for themselves.

I can't take my any more. It's just to hard to keep trying and trying to get no where.
You haven't found the 'no where' yet, as you need and are trying to find YOU right now.
You can only do your with what you have at the time
Trying and trying puts so much pressure and strain on your brain, emotions even health.

I "try to be me" but no on cares how I feel or my opinions..
You do have your your opinions every body does - BUT that give no one and excuse to force you to go with their opinions.

..idk any thing...I don't know which way to turn...I guess there isn't any way but down....
It sucks the down down down feeling we have so deep inside, as if wer'e at our last step - There are no mor steps down which means THE WAY to TURN --- is only going have to be up.... slowly. One step, one word, one thought, and especially one GIANT pat on the back for each tinee step.

people don't want to talk to me or see me post on here, I guess i should just stop, delete this???? no on cares to read it.
If people don't talk to you - again it's because they are struggling to deal with their issues. And you can see here by what you've wrote how dang difficult that is.

I have begged people to talk to me, help me, be there for me....they say they will be but never are....that's what my life is, just keep messing it up second after second....idk....

They truly deep down - don't mean run, to hide, it's again they can't even help themselves -
If they gave you the answers, then they'd have them for themselves....
People get frightened too - cuz maybe what you're dealing with it triggered something that they haven't looked themselves with yet

IT IS 'NOT' you - we're all fruit loops trying to stay above the milk and none of want to sink.............And you won't sink

Why - because even though we don't have answers for others, and they don't have answers for us - then that only means -

We are all struggling here, but in a safe place. Where there are SO MANY OF US - EACH GOING THROUGH the same stuff, YET DIFFERENT

Love Sincerely Starlite ( sorry to babble, but I'm good at that at least LOL)

[Briester]

Tryingtobeme,

Please take all the good words from Lonegael, Gimmeice, Rohag, DPS, and Starlite to heart my friend. I do so know how hard it can feel at times...like nobody cares and nobody would even notice if I wasn't here but the truth is, those thoughts are the disease and not YOU, the sufferer. You have so much to give and are such a sweet person. I've seen your smile with your son and that was genuine if I've ever seen one. I hope the dentist went ok and I'm sorry I wasn't able to get on much yesterday. It's difficult here at work sometimes so I just bounce on and off when I can. Tuesday was particularly stressful as I had my head swimming in the muck of my own self-diminishing as well as people crying about their broken computers all day.

Don't let that ship sink...keep bailing my friend. Starlite's words about prayer are so nice. Even though I don't believe in the way many people do, I still believe that prayer or meditation or whatever you want to call it really DO affect our lives for the better, we just need to be open to what we receive and can't really rush the results.

You are a very special person and I'm honored to be your friend. Take all of our love and let that lighten your load for a time. Vent here as necessary but don't shut us out. Let us help you along as you've helped others with your sweet thoughts.

I hope the sun shines on your heart today my friend. Try to be well.



Chris

[tryingtobeme]

Originally Posted by tryingtobeme

This ship is sinking very quickly. I have been praying that something good will happen and people will understand me...but they don't.

My life is in turmoil, and people have left me. Even some on here. I am jsut to much for everyone. I can't take my any more. It's just to hard to keep trying and trying to get no where.

I "try to be me" but no on cares how I feel or my opinions....idk any thing...I don't know which way to turn...I guess there isn't any way but down....people don't want to talk to me or see me post on here, I guess i should just stop, delete this???? no on cares to read it.

I have begged people to talk to me, help me, be there for me....they say they will be but never are....that's what my life is, just keep messing it up second after second....idk....

I am still hated, alone, gross disgusting piece of trash. Maybe I should just sit out with the garbage. That is what I am and that is what you do with trash is throw it out...

i really am that bad of person that no one notices or give a craps

Just more ramblings. I needed to get this out.

[lonegael]

(((((TBM)))))))) How are you doing, dear? Is it still so bad?