want to close down the race track!!!!

I feel like I am too needy.

I worry and obsess about the same things all the time. I need constant reassurance for the same things over and over again. I frustrate my mom all the time, asking her the same questions over and over, even though she gives me the same reassuring answers each time.

I don’t know if it’s my OCD or my mood disorder or both. But I feel like I can’t control it.

The psych intern who gave me psych tests said I have a glitch in my brain, like a race track and I have these thoughts that are like cars on the race track going round and round and round and round…

It doesn’t matter how many times my mom or my T reassures me about the same thoughts, I still obsess and worry.

Why do I have to have this glitch????? I want to close down the race track. But I just can’t.

(((((Berries))))))
I know exactly what you mean, I have been like that all my life, I have learned to live with it over time, I have to talk to myself a lot. Lately with the help of my T I have made a lot of progress in that area, instantly when the cars are on the starting line, I hold up a STOP sign, take a reality check and it gets better.
Berries, you are very lucky to have a mother who cares and supports you, and your mom is a lucky mother to have a caring, sweet daughter.

I hear your frustration but it is possible to slow down that race track with therapy and hard work from you. The worries will lessen and you will be able to reassure yourself. Hang in there.

(((((((( Berries )))))))))

Berries,

I think and behave the same way you do! I have been told that it is a reaction to stress. What helps me is if I write down what people have told me and find something to distract myself from my thoughts even if it's only for an hour or so.

(((((((((((((((( Berries )))))))))))))))))

Good idea -- maybe create a giant poster you can't avoid???

Sounds like it's the OCD Berries. Would this help - stop and think before you ask the question - ask yourself if you can answer it and remember the answers you normally get. Take some deep breaths and see if this helps. I don't know if I recommended the book 'My Life In Rewind' by Michael Jenike and Edward Zines - you might find some helpful information there. You're lucky you have a great Mom - 3 cheers to your Mom.

(((((((((Berries))))))))))


The same thing happens to me a lot. Less so since I've been in counselling, but the obsessive thinking starts to crop up whenever my depression gets bad and then it's very, very difficult for me to really grasp others' reassurances no matter how many times they repeat them. It's incredibly frustrating, isn't it?

Is there anything you can do to distract yourself? Any kind of mental switch you can flip to hit the brakes on those thoughts? Personally, I count. Backwards. In French. Any kind of mind games helps for me, just simple things like repeating the alphabet or bits of poetry I've memorized or trying to play my favourite movie, scene by scene, in my head. The trick is to concentrate on that simple mind game REALLY REALLY HARD. It's taken a LOT of practice and it didn't work the first few times I tried it, but little by little, I was able to slow down and eventually stop those thoughts from circling.

I don't know why you have that glitch in your brain. What I do know is that you're still a kind, caring person despite it, and it's not your fault that glitch is there. Take care of yourself.

Berries
You know me better than I thought.
It's a tough go my friend. Many hugs for someone special

Berries

I know exactly what you mean! I do the same thing with the obsessive questioning as well. I just take a few deep breaths and talk to myself. Instead of other's reassurances, its me that's doing all the reassuring. It helps me a lot. I wish you all the best!

In Therapy you need to figure out a way that the constant reassurance you need so much you get from yourself and not externally. This will really help you in the long run with your obsessions.
I like the race track analogy. What has helped me is mindful breathing, counting your inhales and exhales and it basically distracts yourself from the things you were obsessing about.

Maybe your mom can compare notes with my folks when I start cycling, I do this. In my case it is as iff there is all this free floating anxiety that keeps trying to make sense of itself and keeps attaching itslef to anything it can. What a pain! Too bad it has to affect such a nice person like you HUgs, hon.