[pinkgrl29]

Hi all,

I haven't posted in quite some time. I am feeling compelled to post because I had a really difficult couple weeks. Last Saturday I ended up home alone, crying and eating. I can't get over the feeling that I am innately a bad person. I think I am self-centered and I feel like I am "acting" all the time. I'm having difficulty explaining what I mean...I just feel like others are different than me. They don't put others down in their head like I do, they don't ignore others phone calls....
BLAH!!!

[Last-Day-FIN]

Everything always makes sense in your head, when first thought about.

Hello, pinkgrl29. Amused? I do not get the impression what you are going through is very funny. Those who are plagued with an illness often think they are different. Many times the feeling of being different is exacerbated by isolation.

You must have reasons for being so down on yourself. Do they ring true upon examination? Do you think you need help to sort through what I expect are distortions in your thinking?

If so, is there any reason you would not be able to begin the journey to a better life today?

Good luck!

[justfloating]

((((((((pinkgrl))))))))

I feel different too. Would you like to be alone together?

I know that it seems like all the terrible things you think about yourself are true, but our thoughts are not true just because we think them. I've struggled with that a lot, but it's a pattern of negative thinking you CAN get out of. Are you seeing a therapist or counsellor at all? It might help to have someone who can talk you through this and give you some pointers on getting all those negative tapes in your head replaced with more positive ones. Sending lots of hugs.

[BeautifullyMistaken]

Originally Posted by pinkgrl29

Hi all,

I haven't posted in quite some time. I am feeling compelled to post because I had a really difficult couple weeks. Last Saturday I ended up home alone, crying and eating. I can't get over the feeling that I am innately a bad person. I think I am self-centered and I feel like I am "acting" all the time. I'm having difficulty explaining what I mean...I just feel like others are different than me. They don't put others down in their head like I do, they don't ignore others phone calls....
BLAH!!!

You aren't a bad person. Depression is a difficult thing to understand and I also think it brings a lot of guilt with it. I know for me, I don't think about what I did wrong until the damage was done and I already hurt someone (emotionally). This always leads to feeling guilty, which seems to be how you might be feeling right now. Are you receiving any help (meds, T?) It might help you start feeling better and you won't have these thoughts.

[lonegael]

((((Pinkgrrl)))))) I think you'll find that most people are pretty much like you, they just don't think about what they are doing. That you do and it bothers you is a sign thatyou are actually better off than many.
Mr. D. tears us down by trying to make us compare ourselves with others, and with very skewed picutres of others. You can't see what they are thinking, so it is easy to assume what one wants of other's motives. Then you see your self and Depression takes everything positive out of that picture, and Violá! everyone else is wonderfull and I am worhtless and evil! It's a crock. honestly. Don't believe it.
Just floating has a good post. take care of yourself and don't let Depression's lies get to you. He'll say just about anything to keep you with him.
Huggs dear. Hope you feel better tomorrow, or the day after, or the day....

[pinkgrl29]

Thank you for all of your kind words. I am continually and always thinking and analyzing. You are all right, it probably is in my head. I wish I was one of those people who could "just float" haha but I know it's easier said than done!