I feel guilty

all around me I am surrounded by people who are in grave situations, sickness, finance problems, abused etc, yet as much compassion I feel for them, I feel so guilty... cos I know the reason I'm depressed is nothing compared to a lot of others. I feel like I have no right to feel this way, does anybody out there understand this feeling?

It's just like the saying "Someone out there always has it worse than you". I can relate to how you feel though...I often find myself thinking about that and how my depressed state of mind seems so trivial compared to what others go through. But that doesn't make things any less stressful. You can't help the way you feel, however; if you keep thinking that it will make you feel worse. Try to focus on something more positive (easier said than done, I know).

Hi, Onlyme2! Yes, I have felt the way you do, and, I think, I still feel the same way, as if there's a massive guilt just below the surface. Yet...

Depression happens. And it's indiscriminate, too.

Sure, if a 1000-pound boulder falls on you, it can do a lot of damage. But a 1/3-ounce piece of metal hitting you in just the right way with sufficient force will do as much damage.

I suspect no matter what anyone here says, you'll still feel guilty. Acknowledge the guilt feelings, but try not to allow them to prevent you from treating your depression as a real illness.

Depression deserves your respect. As one reaching out and seeking help, you've won my respect.

I know what you mean, too. I quite often look at others situations and think I really have nothing to be depressed about. But, as Beautifullymistaken says, you cant help the way you feel. I'm terrible at comparing myself to others but you really should concentrate on dealing with your self.

((((((((((onlyme2))))))))))

I can relate. I feel a lot of guilt too when I see how good I've got it compared to others.

I try to remind myself that most of my illness is biochemical. It is not situational. It is an illness like MS or diabetes is. People with MS don't feel guilty about having MS.

Anyway, that's what I tell myself. It works sometimes.

Take Care

When I was a child, my stepmom used to tell me to stop complaining and to look how hard other people had it so I stopped complaining and kept it all inside for 40 years. It did not stop me from hurting badly and for feeling guilty for feeling so bad....I feel sad when others are hurting or going through hard times but it doesnt take my hurt away...I have learned that I have to take care of myself and my needs first because no one else will, they are much too busy taking care of themselves and also I have come to believe that the ones who are happier out there (or seem to be) are the ones who take care of themselves first, I find this fact sad but nevertheless to be the truth.

((((onlyme2))))

I too have felt the way you are feeling. Feeling guilty for feeling the way I do when others have it so much worse. But your pain to you is the same as someone elses pain to them. It hurts and you have a right to the way you feel.

Comparing youself to someone else is not fair to yourself. Sure someone may have went through something you did not go through. But they have not gone through what you have gone through. No one walks in your shoes but you. Until we have walked there we cannot compare our pain to anyones. And even then it affects people in different ways.

What you are feeling is true to you. There is nothing wrong with feeling what you are feeling. Trying to make yourself not feel out of feeling guilty then adds to the pain and guilt you are already carrying.

Try to take care of you. Remember to breathe. And take one day at a time. Do not beat yourself up for that makes it worse. Accept what you are feeling and try not to compare yourself to anyone else. Pain is pain. What hurts one, may not be the same for someone else.

Please keep posting and sharing. We are here for you and we care. Thank you for telling us what is going on. I do validate what you are feeling. I have felt it myself.

Sending you gentle hugs and loving thoughts.

dps

thanks to all...it's been a tough week, been really sad and mad at the same time, and I did what I usually do, instead of trying to reach out, I hid... I couldn't find words to express the way I feel, just trying to hold it all together cos I have to go to work and pretend like everything is ok

I know the feeling too. Sometimes it does help to try and help others, makes me feel better, because I remember that I'm not the only one in the world who is hurting. We're all in this struggle together, so just remember there are always people here that you can reach out to. Depression is real, just like any other illness, so you have to be taking care of yourself.

One more thing to feel guilty over. I do try to remember those who are in worse situations than me, but a little of that can go a long way. I carry enough guilt around in my shame sack that I can't handle much more. Pray for all those worse off than you. It may sound sarcastic, but it helps to lessen the guilt load.

I feel the same way. Sometimes I feel even more depressed because I think about how selfish I am to be this way when my family and friends care about me and have provided so much for me....and I am so fortunate to be where I am. Yet I can't help being depressed...I just hate feeling like I'm failing everyone who loves me, because they deserve better then me. There are so many people out there who have it worse then me....and I don't feel like I deserve what I have.

Aww Hugs! I go into work with a Fake Smile, then i cry in the bathroom, its awful, so i know how you feel, hugs!

I know how you feel. When I feel depressed, I feel like I should't beacause of all the other people who are in far off worse situations than I am. I mean though I can't afford my house, there are people who don't have a place for shelter and I feel guilty that I do and they don't.