[bigshmoo]

hi everyone. my depression is really bad right now. i am married with a wife and 2 little kids and i don't get enjoyment out of anything. i've been out of work since march and we are so broke, living on state aid and my parents-in-law paying the rent. finding a job or the energy to do so seems impossible. my wife also suffers from depression and bad social anxiety, so i have to be the "functional" one, but i'm not. i take meds and see a therapist (only seen her 3 times so far).
every day is just so long and boring. there is nothing to do and i enjoy nothing. it's such a struggle just to get through the day. i just look forward to going to bed at the end of the day. i'm really sad all the time, i feel like crying or actually do cry a lot and the horribly feeling in my stomach is pretty constant. it's from my worrying that this will never get better, that we both need jobs and even if i find one it's not enough to pay the bills and my wife is a long way from working.
i'm just really hopeless and feel horrible. i don't know if writing anything here will help but i'm desperate and have nothing better to do so i thought i'd try. thanks.

[leacon]

Welcome to PC. Just to clue you in sometimes it takes a while for people to respond. Also, until you have posted five times your posts can be delayed in showing up. Rather be patient here. I am in a similar situation. I am retired on disability and have a lot of time on my hands also. This can be especially difficult when depression keeps us from wanting to do anything and not enjoying anything. Good Luck and I hope you find what you want here.

Hello, bigshmoo. What helps me sometimes is to do something. What I do matters less than the act of doing. Often I try to do something I have neglected for awhile. It is important what you choose to do is something you are capable of doing. One component of doing is to build confidence so the doing may continue.

These questions have been around the internet for awhile and provide me with an agenda of doing:

Ask yourself the following questions every day:

1. What am I thankful for today?
2. What did I learn today?
3. Where did I do a good job?
4. Who was I valuable to today?
5. How did I take care of myself today?

Good luck!

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((bigshmoo))))

Welcome to PC. Thank you for reaching out and for taking the risk to do so. That is a big step. I here what you are saying. I know that things are tough. But you have your family with you. That is something to be thankful for.

I know that depression can grab you and pull you under leaving you wondering if anything is even worth it. But you are worth it. Your family, your wife and 2 little ones, needs you. Finding that one thing is doing something.

You reached out here and that took alot. Thank you for trusting us enough to do that. I know that depression cripples our thoughts and we feel like we can do nothing. Truth is you just took the first step to showing it you can.

I know for me I have been really having a hard time lately, but coming here and posting to others gets me out of myself. It gives me insite into my own stuff. It is tough sometimes to find that one space to step out of for even a moment. But it is worth the try.

Did you just start therapy? Give that a chance. Sounds like you have only just begun. It does get easier as you go. Have you been on your meds long? They can help too when they have a chance to get in your system.

I know the feeling of will this get better. Hang in there and keep pushing forth. Maybe you are only crawling and inching along--but you are moving forth. Take each day one minute at a time. Sometimes one second at a time. And remember to breathe.

There is nothing wrong with crying. Crying cleanses and releases many feelings we hold pinned up inside. I know I have been crying this morning. It is sometimes the only way we can let go of what we are holding.

I hear that you are feeling horrible and I validate how you are feeling. Just keep reaching out and letting us know how you are doing. Be kind to yourself. And know we are listening and are here.

I hope you have a good day. And I hope you will do something kind for you. Reach out and play with your children. Enjoy them while you can. They grow up all too soon. Many times they can put a smile on the darkest of days.

dps

[lonegael]

Hi (((((((Bigschmooo))) I feel kind of funny calling you that, but anyway. Welcome indeed. I have no brilliant words right now, but it's good that you started posting and I hope that you'll continue. Hugggs for you and your famiily!

[Psyched]

Bigshmoo,

I'm sorry that you're having a tough time. I am going thru the same problems as you are, so I hope it helps to know that you aren't alone. It has helped me to read the boards on PC & know that others feel the same way as I do, b/c I often feel like I'm the only one who feels so badly until I do. People here have been very supposrtive, too. You've received some helpful replies. There is something you have that I don't, which to me is the most important thing you can have, & that is a family. Try to focus on the love & friendship & support that you & your wife give each other, & the joy your children bring to your life, like the funny comments that come out of their mouths & the miracles they are. Try to concentrate on what you do have, like in-laws who have your back & took your family in. The holidays can be a really stressful time of year to boot, but maybe you can just drive the kids around & look at decorations. It doesn't cost anything (except for gas) & it will be a fun thing for the family to do. Try to your distract your mind. I hope this helps, & I'm sending you a hug.

[Psyched]

Me again,
I forgot this very important thing (b/c, as u can see from my mood icon, I've been drinking- which I know I will regret tomorrow, but I'm going to be a hypocrite & give u this advice, anyway). I find that when I drink or eat junkfood & don't eat healthfully or take vitamins that it effects my mood DRASTICALLY. I'm sure that's true for everyone who suffers from mood disorders. Take Omega 3 Fish Oil supplements- they really work (make sure they are molecularly distilled= mercury taken out from polluted ocean water). Also, exercise helps a lot, too; in fact, studies report that it's just as, if not more, effective than taking anti-depressants, which only work for 40% of users (& unfortunately, I'm not one of them). The hard part is discipline, esp. when you're depressed, b/c it's hard to think about taking care of yourself when all you want to do is end things. My mom just died last month from a year-long bout of horrible suffering due to cancer, & w/ the holidays & everything else I'm dealing w/, I needed to get out of my head, & I thought drinking would help b/c it's a v. v. bad habit I've acquired. Don't do it- I'm here, there's nothing more to drink, & I'm still talking about my problems, right? It only made things worse. (And I'm not drinking Pepsi!) So, all joking aside, I couldn't be more serious: take care of yourself. That's the best advice I can give you. Trust me, it works. You just have to think you're worth it, which apparently, I need to do, too. Keep us up to date.

[turquoisesea]

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