[Confused_1982]

I dont know what to do. Had last session with T last week as I am supposed to be on a break until the new year. This means I wont see him for another 3 weeks (4 weeks in total). He is working over xmas/ny. I thought I would be ok, but Im not. I really need to hear Ts voice, to know that I CAN get through this. I feel so overwhelmed with sadness, lonliness and fear. I dont know how to get myself out of this, and the thought of not seeing him for 3 weeks scares me to death. I cant deal with it. I honestly dont know how I am going to get through this.

I know T would probably be ok with me callling him- I email him sometimes when I cant cope- but I dont know what I would say to him. But I dont know what else to do. Honestly, I feel like I am losing my mind and cant get out of this black, never ending hole. I cant see a way out. I need T. I cant see a way of making it another 3 weeks til I see him again.

We did make a list earlier in the year of "distractions" to take away from my emotions, but none of it is working. Anyone got any advice at all please?

[megsfun]

Hi! I'm just writing to let you know that you can do this You can do this on your own! It is hard to see past the hole you're stuck in now, but it will lift. If you are able to sleep, this might help you relax. If you're mind just won't stop turning, maybe write your feelings down, it will help get your thoughts out. Again, you're wonderful! You can do this!!

[ZilchHour]

Not much of an advice but good wishes and best prayers your way.
Sometimes the most tough part of the journey needs to be travelled alone.

[Naturefreak]

(((Confused1982)))

[lonegael]

Maybe it would be ok to say it as it is. "I really need to hear your voice when I am having a rough time". With time, you will "internalize T's voice, which will help a lot. I'm pretty sure that he would understand if you explain. Huggs. Tough thing to deal with, holidays.

[Pomegranate]

I would call and say you need to speak with him for a few minutes. Tell him the truth when you do get to talk to him.

Also you can try to think of what he would say to you, and try to hear him telling you that over and over. Stay in the present, do whatever you can and do what you enjoy to help you stay in the present. Avoid all stress!!!!

During holiday times I always ask myself what would be worse for me, feeling lonely or being with family/people and feeling stressed/hurt/lonely/misunderstood?

[Berries]

I agree. Call your T and just say--I just need to hear you say it's going to be OK. I don't think he will mind. I know mine wouldn't.

Best Wishes

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by lonegael

"I really need to hear your voice when I am having a rough time".

Originally Posted by Berries

Call your T and just say--I just need to hear you say it's going to be OK.

I don't know, but that may be all you need. Maybe a couple of "auditory booster shots" could make these weeks much easier for you.

Wishing you serenity!

[googley]

((((((Confused)))))))

[Confused_1982]

Thanks everyone I think that is probably what I need- to hear that I will be ok. Well, I didnt call him coz it was too late last night, but I sent him an email. I havent heard back from him yet, but I do feel so guilty for doing it. I just hate the long break on top of it being a Xmas break.

[Berries]

Originally Posted by Confused_1982

I sent him an email. I havent heard back from him yet, but I do feel so guilty for doing it.

(((((((((((Confused)))))))))))

Good for you! No need to feel guilty. You are just trying to take care of yourself and that is what Ts are for--to help us take care of ourselves.

[AuburnSunshine]

I agree with everyone else. No need to feel guilty...simply tell him what you have told us. If you think that talking with him will help you at such a difficult time then reach out to him.

Take care of yourself...try to do something that you've been wanting to do. Download a movie or some music or an audio book...and then sit back, relax and enjoy it.

And please remember that we are here for you...

~ Melanie

[lynn P.]

Maybe you can communicate with emails. Try to remember what he would say to you. Take some deep breaths and know that 3 weeks isn't that long and it will be over soon. How about buying a journal and everytime you wish you could talk to him, you write it down. It's also good to remember that eventually your T will want you to learn, how to soothe yourself and nurture yourself. Do some nice things that would make you happy. When something stressful comes up- ask yourself "what would T say to that??" You can also come here for lots of hugs and reassurance.

[gimmeice]

((((((((((((((( confused ))))))))))))))))))))))))

No need at all to feel guilty about sending your t an email, I actually think it's a good thing that you sent it. You recognized what you needed and reached out for it, seems like a good thing to me.

[*freak*]

I have no advice, but I think it must be wonderful to have such a good relatioship with your T. Mine is a nightmare...

But here are the hugs:

Take care

[Confused_1982]

Still havent heard from T- its been 24 hours.

Lynn-- yes I know I have to soothe myself without T, but it seems I dont have the tools to do that right now. That's all part of T. I wish I didnt need him but I do.

Thank you all for your posts

[lonegael]

This sounds like an excellent thing for you to take up with him next time you talk. Maybe you and he can work on those skills when you meet again. At least this break can be seen as a trouble shooting period. Hugs, and I wish I could send you a security blanket. Blue, I think. And fuzzy.

[Confused_1982]

Thanks, yes we will probably need to do that! RIghtly or wrongly I have phoned him and left a message. I am in such a state I dont know what do. I hope he will call, but Ive got a feeling he will leave me to deal with this on my own

[Berries]

(((((((((((confused)))))))))))
I’m glad you called. Please let us know what happens? Hang in there!!

[Confused_1982]

Thanks Berries He called and talked to me for about half an hour. We talked about some measures I can put in place over the next few weeks, and he asked if I was "at risk". I said I was thinking about it but not actively going to do anything about it at the moment, and he said "good because i really want to see you at our next session". I really needed to hear that.

I dont really feel any better, but I do feel more comforted that I talked to T and he didnt leave me on my own.

Now to get through Xmas

(((((((((((((((((((((( Confused 1982 )))))))))))))))))))))))))

[Berries]

(((((((((((Confused)))))))))))

I am so glad for you. Good for you and good for your T!!!

[lonegael]

Excellent (((((((confused))))))))) (((((((t))))))))))!!!