A New Job

Ok, I am going way too fast with myself lately. First I change my sn, and today I went back to the new job where I was picked up at and actually started working.

I had to have a talk with the managers first and reassure them that I wasn't going to freak out or anything [sigh] and I wanted to make sure that they wanted me for the job, not still offering it out of pity or because they had already extended the offer and couldn't figure out how to back out of it.

I gave them a choice - any reservations about me or my work performance, and I would leave. No problem, no issues. They were ok with it, concerned slightly but not reconsidering the offer - my direct supervisor said that he was looking forward to having me there.

I did my orientation and the mounds of paperwork and watched all those "fun" videos and then the lady who hired me asked me if I could stay awhile. Here I am in jeans, tongs on my feet and a sloppy shirt --- sure, I'm ready [I was so embarrassed].

I stayed till 6pm, then went home and fixed dinner. Alex is always afraid now that I won't be coming home [sigh]. Anyway, I told my mom the truth today as well and then my T called.....perfect timing. We did agree no phone call tomorrow..and I see him Wed.

I work everyday this week now with Friday off - my back is sooooooooo not happy. I haven't done this many hours in about 5 months. I hope I can do it.

I'm scared........I'm slipping back into "efficiency" mode and everyone will think I am "fine" again. Already my husband says I am "back on track"...........how can he or anyone not realize that I am not??

What happens if I can't do this job or the real me comes out and screws it all up? Omg, I have to keep stuffing her way down out of sight.........can I do this all the time anymore? Will my back give out esp when I am really NOT supposed to be doing all this work and this many hours?? :::::::::ulling hair out::::::::::

Ok, I'm stressing......breathe............[sigh]. I am the Front End Supervisor or Front End World Leader at a major retail toy store. The entire front end, cashiers, service desk, any cash shortages, training/motivating employees, keeping lines short with 10 registers..........all up to me and my jurisdiction. And Christmas is coming.........

And if I manage all this, where do "I" go to? Back to not feeling anything because there will be no time, no place for "me" to come out except at my T's and here. But everyone will happy b/c I am providing and doing my job.

I work tomorrow afternoon till close. I have one more job interview in the morning, which I didn't want to cancel. Plus I still have a job that is expecting me to be gone for 5 weeks starting next week. OMG......

Mary Alice

Hey Planning

One thing at a time... Put you first, ok? Unless you're in shape, you can't, and no one else should, expect you to do more than you can. Finito, end of story.... let them have expectations people always will. Tell them you're doing you're best, and you will. When it's too much, it's too much, and they should understand. If they can't, oh well.

Considiering all you've been through, I think your employers will give you good credits.... If you can't take the pressures right now, that's ok. Don't put too much pressure on yourself, ok? You just had back surgery, remember?

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising every time we fall." Confucius

I'm with Nowhere.

You can only do so much. If you are in pain you are in pain and anyone who expect more from you is an #(¤/%&¤/¤(#.
I went to a job, a crappy cleaning job cause after searching for 6 months it was the only one who would even interview me. I was cleaning all the floors in a restaraunt. Nasty in the kitchen. 6 nites a week. Hated it but that wasn't the problem. I had plantar fiscisus (can spell it). It's was so painful. Ic ried myself to work, while working and home again. (I had to walk to and from work)

My husband didn't care. I was "contributing my share". I was in so much pain and felt so much pressure to "contribute my share".

Finally I told him if he didn't realize how hard this was and if he was fine with me suffering so he could watch TV at nite and hang with his friends then I didn't want to be with him. He straightened up and in time actually began helping me at my job. After one week he said I could quit.

Just my story. Trying to say you can only do what you can do. There's no failure in it. You are in pain. Not your fault.
Hugs!!!!!
Heidu

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. ~ Carl Bard ~

Hi ((((((((((Mary Alice)))))))))): Hey, you know what? You can be whoever you want to be on this new job = tis a new start and a new opportunity, right?

I remember one thing that went wrong in the last one is that you found yourself being over-accommodating to your employer, working extra hours and saying 'yes' when you want to say 'no' = here you can work on setting those boundaries right up front -

I know this is very difficult because when starting a new job we naturally want to impress, but since it is detrimental to your health and longevity not to do so,

seems like diplomatic ways of setting those boundaries with your supervisor could be worked on now. What do you think.

I'm a recovering workaholic <smile> a total collapse will do that to a person, so this is something that would be a real challenge for me to do, but maybe we can work on it together.

What do you think? I plan to do this when I return to work, because if I don't = kablamy!!! Talk to you soon. Ever so fondly, your friend, Peanut

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT </font color=blue>

{{{{{{{{{Mary Alice}}}}}}}}

Wow - no wonder your head is reeling hun.....step back a sec and look at all that is going on. Break it into do-ables....I know its easy for me to say don't get overwhelmed but you are already there.

Number 1 should be you and I mean the real you... not what you are portraying to everyone. You are the real you hun....please think of that ok? We all wear different masks to hide when we are down. The strength is there when you take it off (like you are doing bit by bit) and going on. You can only live your life - not your husband - not your parents....only you.

That is where you need to start. I don't mean to be blunt ok hun? You said - "But everyone will happy b/c I am providing and doing my job." Who is everyone? The only person I am seeing that is happy here is your husband because you are providing. I don't see Alex or you being happy...this doesn't make sense to me. I am really trying to understand what you mean ok hun? I am just confused....you are too important and it bothers me when you are putting yourself on the bottom of the list. You and Alex should be there at the top...the heck with everyone else.





Heather

"The Pessimist complains about the wind, the Optimist expects it to change and the REALIST adjusts his sails." ~~~author unknown

When it rains it pours. What a lot of new stuff going on. It is handy you have a spare persona that knows how to deal with this kind of stuff. I hope you have the strength to cope while you get your needs re-organized.

Bumper sticker: Wherever you go, there you are

Mary Alice,

Have you told your new employer that you just had back surgery? I'm glad that they still want you, and that's great that you can handle the job. Just make sure you take care of yourself and don't get hurt again, pretty please. You have to set your limits.

What about the other interviews? Would it be a better job that you would take instead?

You realized before that you are a perfectionist. It's okay to give yourself some slack though. Perfectionism doesn't really do you or your employer or anyone else any favors. Doing a good job doesn't have to be detrimental to your health, mental or otherwise.

I can't be there to take care of you, so I'm counting on you to do it for me, okay? xoxoxo

Be nice to my friend, Mary Alice. And I mean the real Mary Alice, who is all of you.

-Wendy

<font color=blue>Life is filled with tragedy; if you let it overwhelm you, you cannot enjoy life's innocent pleasures. -Robert Heinlein</font color=blue>

Everyone - no, neither place knows about my back surgery.......I said nothing, and can't wear my brace or it would be noticed.

Ahhhh Wendy ****hugs***** how could I let anyone see Mary Alice looking less than capable?

I realized tonite that this job is literally killing me.....I hurt so bad when I got off work, I could barely drive. First thing I did was pop pain killers and now I am tripping from mixing them, and I'm really hot......[sigh].

I don't know what to do. I called the other job and left messages, this time about my weight restrictions, etc. We'll see.

Mary Alice

{{{{{{{{{Mary Alice}}}}}}}}}}}

Awww hun....you should tell them about your surgery and your brace. They should know this. You need to wear this for you and your comfort. Gosh...if you wear glasses you wear them right? Take a chance and tell them......this is the start of the new you right? You can do it {{{{{{{{{{{Mary Alice}}}}}}}}


Heather

"The Pessimist complains about the wind, the Optimist expects it to change and the REALIST adjusts his sails." ~~~author unknown

{{{{{{{{Heather}}}}}}}}}}} :::::::doing happy dance::::::::::::
I got a call from the other job......about my lifting restrictions, he said, "you're a manager, have someone else do it if you can't".......the advance money part so I have gasoline to get there and keep my husband happy with cigs and gasoline can't happen - so I have to find a way to get some cash.

I'm quitting the other job today......going to take my drug test and supposed to be leaving next Tues. for 5 weeks. BUT I am bringing my laptop so I have computer access, so you are all STUCK with me.........lol.

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! More money, and after the miserable 5 weeks, I will be here in town and working mall hours. Yippppeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmmmmmm, I hate quitting jobs, but at least the other one has no clue what happened last week - that's a good thing.

Have an appt today with my pdoc and T.....drug test and quitting lined up as well. . Dare I say it might be a good day??? Plus I'll be home with Alex tonight. Ahhhhhhhh.......

Mary Alice

Your day sounds busy but good things are gonna happen. Dare I say you sound UP and even a little relieved.

That's so great Mary Alice and I am continuing to send hugs and the best wishes.
Heidu

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. ~ Carl Bard ~

Shhhhhhhhhh Heidu, when you say that, it jinxes it...........

Alex has missed me dreadfully and the 5 weeks gone with only two days home per week will be hard on both of us, but the end result will be worth it.

**********hugs & kisses*************************** and ty for being there!

Ok, you mae me laugh again but I don't think I can jinx it. By the time it makes it across the ocean your stuff will be done.

I know it will be hard on you and Alex but think of it this way, he won't see you as much for 5 weeks BUT he has a whole life with his wonderful, loving mom. It doesn't get any better than that. :O)

Heidu

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. ~ Carl Bard ~

{{{{{{{{{Mary Alice}}}}}}}}}}

How wonderful for you

Hey you can use one of those phones you have to burn up the wires with Alex when you are away...think of how much fun it will be when you come home on the weekends!!!! Tell him that he can make the plans for you on what you both can do together....he will have a blast planning something special.

What are you and Alex doing this evening? I can sense a celebratory dinner is on the agenda Pizza and chocolate milkshakes!!! lol


Heather

"The Pessimist complains about the wind, the Optimist expects it to change and the REALIST adjusts his sails." ~~~author unknown

Ty Heather............lol. Only 3 of those phones are active but at least it won't be long distance charges.......I'm going to be about an hour and a half away from home, and I think Mondays are one of my days off.

Even better than pizza and shakes........I'm fixing a home cooked meal.........soothes the savage beast over here and Alex loves my chicken dish.

xoxoxoxo

Mary Alice

mmmmmmm chicken mmmmmmmm LOL I was just thinking of how my youngest (he's 2) calls my friend Bonnie "chicken" as one day she came to visit and was carrying KFC chicken in the bag with her. Ever since then he calls her "chicken".




Heather

"The Pessimist complains about the wind, the Optimist expects it to change and the REALIST adjusts his sails." ~~~author unknown

<font color=red>(((((((((((((((MARY ALICE)))))))))))))))))</font color=red>

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT </font color=blue>

{{{{{{{{{{{{Mary Alice}}}}}}}}}}}

@~~~~~~~<~~~~~<< and some chocolate fudgecake

Take care,
Fuzzy

chocolate????? Ohhhhhhh Fuzzy, I love ya!! yummy


Mary Alice

As always Peanut, you brighten my day.............ty

**************hugs*************************