feeling very alone

I'm feeling very alone and sad. My friends made multiple plans this week and did not include me. I don't know how to interpret this. It is just making me really sad that they aren't including me. It's not like they didn't have the chance. It is making me feel like I am being used for my car. Why doesn't anyone ever like me? I'm friendly.

(((((((((((((((Googley))))))))))))))))

You have us Googley
Sorry about what happened my friend. Try not to let it bring you down. You have no control over other people . Be good to yourself.
Hugs

(((((Googley)))))
I'm sorry about your friends not including you in their plans. We here at PC care about you LOTS though...you can hang out with us anytime.

(((GOOGLEY)))

This is just what used to happen to me with my friends. In the end I completely cut myself off from them because of the unbearable pain of being rejected AGAIN! Now I am in the position where I have no friends, no support network (apart from T), no life.

Dont end up like me- can you try and ask them why they didnt include you? I know its hard but there may be a good reason, or it may just be crossed wires. In the meantime keep talking to us- you are not alone

Yes, you definitely are, and that deepens the mystery of why your friends left you out of their plans.

Googley, how comfortable would you be making plans to do something pleasant by yourself? Are there other groups of potential friends to explore out there?

After awhile when I was hiding out in isolation, my friends just stopped inviting me.

“One who shows signs of mental aberration is, inevitably, perhaps, but cruelly, shut off from familiar, thoughtless intercourse, partly excommunicated; his isolation is unwittingly proclaimed to him on every countenance by curiosity, indifference, aversion, or pity, and in so far as he is human enough to need free and equal communication and feel the lack of it, he suffers pain and loss of a kind and degree which others can only faintly imagine, and for the most part ignore.” ~Charles Horton Cooley

What Byzantine said!

It sucks, but it might be worth trying to reconnect with them. My friends back off a bit when I isolate as they don't know what to do/say, but they're always glad when I come back out of hiding again. I'll bet yours will act the same. If not, It hurts, but it's better in the long run to prune friends who hurt you (toxic friends I call them) out of your life - you're worth more than that!

*Willow*

I'm sorry about what your friends are doing to you! You do have us though. I hope everything gets better for you. If you need anything you can pm me. Hugs ( if ok )

Hi (((((googley))))). I'm sorry you are feeling so sad because your friends did not include you in their plans. Do you ever initiate the planning and invite your friends to join you, or do you wait for them to include you? Waiting for others to invite you to join them is very validating when they do, but can set you up for feeling rejected if for whatever reason they don't. Also, you can't assume that their reason for not including you means that they don't like you. Perhaps you should try to talk to one or more of them and find out their reasons for not including you.

It is also possible that your friends might feel that you aren't really interested in their company or activities if you don't initiate plans and invite them to join you. You say that you feel they might be using you for your car. Although depression can play havoc with our logic and reasoning, that doesn't necessarily negate the validity of our feelings of unease and discomfort. If you think this is a real possibility then you need to find out for certain for the sake of your peace of mind. One way might be to invite your friends to spend time with you doing something that would not require the use of your car and see how they respond.

Having said all of that, perhaps what you really need to do is adjust your perspective regarding your social networking and how you choose your friends; i.e., focus more on who you want and how others fit in your life, rather than trying to figure out if and how you fit in the lives of others. Friends are the family that you choose for yourself and you should always be able to expect that they will treat you better than the rest of the world treats you. Hope you feel better soon and we'll all be here anytime you want/need us.lynn09

Hi Googley,
I'm so sorry... I know just how this hurts I have been there before too. I think sometimes when we are down, other people sense it and they don't know how to relate and they just pull away. It's totally not fair, but it is totally their loss. Some day any one of your friends may be in your position and might experience the same thing... Do you have any other friends other than them that you hang out with, like a friend who is not associated with them. Maybe you could make a plan to go out an just get a cup of tea/coffee. Or, if you're feeling brave maybe you could try a whole new group. Did you ever look on meetup.com? Do you have a certain something you like to do; like a read a certain kind of book, gaming, or do a certain type of art or craft? There are groups that meet over stuff like this and it's amazing how you can get to know others in such a short period of time. If these "friends" are hurting you, let them go. It's their loss and there are others who might be able to relate more to where you are right now, and you to them...

((((((((((((((((Googley)))))))))))))))) So many people here care about you. I know what it is to be "used" by others for a car ride. I hope you don't let others drive! That, however, does not mean that they don't like you. Do you have phone contact with any of these friends? If so, why not call them just to chat and bring up the event in question in the course of conversation ("I heard you were going to . . . That's great, Man!"). Maybe this will help your perspective in discerning whether you were intentionally left out. Maybe you could find out who all is going. Maybe several of the group were "left out" because only a smaller group got together on the plans. Remember that depression can cause a type of negative paranoia about others not liking us. I have it, too. However, in agreement with the above, I plead with you not to isolate yourself because of these feelings. There really ARE some nice people in the world who refuse to use others. And remember that people LIKE us, not for who we are or what we have, but for the way we make them feel about themselves. Caring About You, billieJ

((((googley!)))))) I like you a bunch and I want to be your friend! Hang in there...

((((Googley)))), I agree with Chronic. Why not tell your friends how being excluded makes you feel. This will let them become aware that they hurt you.
You're valued here!!Always!!!

How are you googley?

Hello everyone. Thank you so much for the support. I talked to my friend and mentioned that just because I can't eat at restaurants and such doesn't mean I don't want to go along. So hopefully that will help. I have been reading your responses but have had very little energy to respond. I have been sleeping almost the whole time I'm not in class or doing homework. Everything just seems to drain all my energy. Even when I wake up after a full night's sleep I am tired. I'm having trouble taking all my meds at the full dose because of worries about money. So I know that isn't helping given this is already a bad time of year for me. So thank you so much for your support and know that I am reading. And now I think I'm going to go back to bed again soon so I can get up for tomorrow.

That is sooo familiar.

Googley, may the little energy you have carry you farther than you think.