[Naturefreak]

Thank God I have my PC friends , I don't know what I would do without you all. Many of you know from the past that I can become quite down and with time I always seem to break out of it for a while , which is a good thing. Lately , I've been feeling hopeless and really tired of feeling this way . I have suicidal thoughts at least 10 times a day , everyday . I know none of you can really cure me of these thoughts , but I feel better telling someone what's on my mind.
To be honest , I'm scared if something really bad were to happen , I'm not sure what I would do. Many of you know the feeling of loneliness , feeling unloved , just existing. It can become overwhelming. I am scared to die , I think all of us are to a certain extent. I guess it could always be worse , but that doesn't make me feel any better , not for long anyways. I miss my old P-doc , she asked me many questions and was a good listener. My new P-doc doesn't ask many questions and is just experimenting with medications at the moment. I don't think I have to worry much about a suicide attempt anyway . I'm so stressed out that I will probably die from a heart attack or stroke . Just leave a hug and I will appreciate it very much.

[lynn P.]

(((Babysteps))) - I know you're not expecting us to solve your problems, although we wish we could. Even though I haven't been clinically diagnosed with depression, I know part of me is very down. I can very much relate to feeling like you're existing - I feel like I'm living in limbo really. Yes at least I feel connected to my kids, but I don't feel connected to an adult - that's gone for good. I know my post doesn't sound too cheery or optimistic, like I normally sound. But we're friends and I can be honest with you, since you know my situation.

At least you can feel I understand some of what you're feeling and we all want understanding. I think it's good you're talking about it and the suicidal feelings. I can't remember why you changed you T? I'm going to leave you a link that I often use in the Q&A section - it's a compassionate website. This website's not just for people who might be thinking of suicide thoughts, but for anyone who's depressed. I hope things get better for you.

http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

[turquoisesea]

[Naturefreak]

Originally Posted by lynn P.

((( I can't remember why you changed you T? /

She quit her practice. Probably because of me.

[lynn P.]

I doubt she quit because of you Babysteps. I'm sure being a psychologist, she would know how to solve her problems better than running away.

[idontknow13]

((((((Babysteps))))))
Maybe having a therapist who you could talk to would help, I know it did with me and still does. She made me see things I had never been aware of in all my many years on this earth, she taught me new words like sadness and showed me more compassion than anyone had.
As a fellow canadian who lives in the east, I can tell you Summer is coming...hopefully this will cheer you up a bit...and dont forget about all this chocolate...Seriously Babysteps You deserve to be happy You are a wonderful caring person

[justfloating]

(((((((((((babysteps)))))))))))

[thine_self_untrue]

((((((((((((((Babysteps))))))))))))))))

[Rohag]

A hug for you, a hug for Jake, a hug for you, a hug for Jake, a hug for you, a hug for Jake...

((((((( Babysteps! )))))))

[Naturefreak]

Thanks all for your hugs and support. I know how it feels when any of you are reaching out . I want to take it all away , but in reality I can't. Wouldn't that be great.
Hugs back to you all .
Good night and hope to see you tomorrow.

[turquoisesea]

Hope your dreams are sweet =)

[Naturefreak]

Oh , I almost forgot. Where's Fuzzy

[notz]

hugs for you moonie man.

[LoneScout]

H-U-G
I too suffer from this issue - mysecretdarkness1.wordpress.com

I am glad I am not alone, but wish this thinking on no one.

I wish I had a cure 4 u.

Babysteps, could the problem be you walked to school or carried your books?

[Naturefreak]

Originally Posted by TheByzantine

Babysteps, could the problem be you walked to school or carried your books?

Yes Byz . I walked to school everyday . About 4 miles there and back with about 10 pounds of books. That could very well be . You are truly a man of great wisdom.

[tryingtobeme]

((((((((((Babysteps)))))))))

I wish I could be physically right by your side and hold you. I cried when I read this post. I want to help, but I know I can't make all those feelings disappear. Just know that I am here, praying for you, and I will be here sitting with you. You are love very much here by many people including me. Don't give up hope. I know you can fight through this, I know, that is the tough batter. You can though. We all have faith in you.

Love you lots. Keep letting it out.

[Chronic]

(((((((((((Babysteps))))))))))))

I know this feeling all too well. I hope it passes soon. remember we are here for you

How are you doing, Chris? What can we do to help?

[lynn P.]

Just stopping by to give you a big squeeze

[Naturefreak]

Originally Posted by TheByzantine

How are you doing, Chris? What can we do to help?

Just be you Byz.

[concern1970]

Originally Posted by Babysteps

Thank God I have my PC friends , I don't know what I would do without you all. Many of you know from the past that I can become quite down and with time I always seem to break out of it for a while , which is a good thing. Lately , I've been feeling hopeless and really tired of feeling this way . I have suicidal thoughts at least 10 times a day , everyday . I know none of you can really cure me of these thoughts , but I feel better telling someone what's on my mind.
To be honest , I'm scared if something really bad were to happen , I'm not sure what I would do. Many of you know the feeling of loneliness , feeling unloved , just existing. It can become overwhelming. I am scared to die , I think all of us are to a certain extent. I guess it could always be worse , but that doesn't make me feel any better , not for long anyways. I miss my old P-doc , she asked me many questions and was a good listener. My new P-doc doesn't ask many questions and is just experimenting with medications at the moment. I don't think I have to worry much about a suicide attempt anyway . I'm so stressed out that I will probably die from a heart attack or stroke . Just leave a hug and I will appreciate it very much.

Hi "Babysteps"

Things seem to have been a bit tuff for you at the moment, you and me both. I have episodes, as I call them, and yes things can overwhelm you, but hay you have us after talking through with all of us it must make you feel a bit better sent hugs

[justme41]

Babysteps, You are so sweet. trying to make me feel better when u feel so horrible. We are here for you.
If been in therapy off and on for years. One thing I've learned is that thoughts and feelings aren't necessarily right or wrong they are just thoughts and feelings. Sometimes it helps me to just observe my thoughts and not judge them so I don't get too stuck in them.
I know, it doesnt' fix everything but it may help.
Hope this helps a little. Take care.