[Psyclox]

My life is empty, last night I went to go and visit the love of my life with sum friends, but before that one of my friends told me what he now says was a joke, that Brenda was together with the person I suspect of telling her all the lies about me, on top of that I was feeling really crap, then I did sumthing that I shouldn't of I took drugs, and that made it even worse because all the feelings and thoughts I had before where right there in my mind, all I wanted to do was hurt the guy so bad in ways that he couldn't even imagine, but I restrained myself, she tried to talk to me about what was wrong but I couldn't, all I did was try and change the subject the whole time now I know it was the drugs, it allways is, on top of all this she didn't even really speak to me last night, she spoke to every1 else but avoided me most of the night, I am so lost that i don't know what to do anymore I love her with all my geart and I couldn't bear life without her, I should give her a call and try to explain everything but I am so afraid of what she might say, I love her so much that it hurts to be apart from her and its even worse when I'm around her, I know I %#@&#! up with her and I wish I could take it all back but I can't, I just love her so much, plus my sister was involved in a car accident, she is all right though, but the problem is she was drunk and she was with another guy, and she is married to a great guy, she has two kids, the one is about 11 and the other is 7 and the 11yr old is an emotional wreck he suffers from anxiety and a whole lot of stress and the 7yr old is add and my brother in law wants nothing to do with my sister any more because of what happened, I just feel that my whole world is breaking up around me and I'm really %#@&#! up right now and I just don't know what to do any more, all i want to do is drink and take drugs so much, and i know I mustn't and I won't but life is just getting so hard for that I feel so lost in this world, i feel its not worth the effort any more

just want you to know that although the resposes to your post are slow......people do care ..your post was alot to take in......sometimes posts with so much emotion is difficult to respond to.....i know i had to read it a couple of times before i responded.....you are going through one of the most difficult situations in this life..lost love....but you will get through it.....forget the drugs and the alcohol.....keep us informed and if you need to talk....pm me please....

[seeker1950]

Yes, I agree with Butterfly...the drugs and alcohol will just prolong your condition. I know it's sad, Psy, and I've been there. Time alone is a great healer, and you must give it time; there are no "quick fixes" for it; believe me, if there were, I'd bottle it and make a million.
PM me also if you need to talk.
Loving thoughts,
Seeker

[Hope4me2]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Psyclox}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

so sorry your having a rough time right now but I am sending you a BIG HUG....

take care of yourself and keep posting we are here for you....

[Psyclox]

I want to thank every1 who has helped me out, I know I talk alot of crap at times its just that I am so unsure of life at the moment, its hard to get by every day and its not getting easier, so I just want say thank you ALL.

[MacD]

You're in severe pain....you want it to end....but you and I both know that medicating yourself does no good....And it sounds like the "love of your life" might just have the same issues.....Get some substance abuse counseling.....Work on loving yourself.....(You're So Worth It)...and then....you'll be ready for someone else to love.....Your sensitivity and concern for others shine through your pain......Hang In There.....Take Care Of You First....it will fall into place w/others after....

Grace