[ifeeltheweight]

I want to sleep this entire week away. I don't want to deal with reality. It seems like I can't win. I just woke from a nap but want to go right back to sleep. I've taken pills before to induce sleep and I'm thinking of it again today. How do I face my day when there doesn't seem to be any light at the end of my tunnel.

[splitz]

I feel exactly the same.
Why do you want to sleep the week away? (I told someone yesterday that I wished I could just hibernate). What are you trying to avoid? Do you want to sleep because then you don't have to think or do anything?
Are you managing to get a decent sleep or are you just napping? I've done the 'taking pills to induce sleep and ignore the world' but it usually ends up making me feel more depressed.

[ifeeltheweight]

Originally Posted by splitz

I feel exactly the same.
Why do you want to sleep the week away? (I told someone yesterday that I wished I could just hibernate). What are you trying to avoid? Do you want to sleep because then you don't have to think or do anything?
Are you managing to get a decent sleep or are you just napping? I've done the 'taking pills to induce sleep and ignore the world' but it usually ends up making me feel more depressed.

I guess it just plain avoidance. I don't feel happy and everything in my life is getting worse. I haven't worked in a month due to my illness and there is some guilt and shame that comes with that. I'm also experiencing some financial stress due to the disability payments. I fear going back to work and I'm not sure if I should go back.

So yes, I don't want to think about it all. I cry often when thinking about it all and that usually kick starts the suicidal thoughts. I definitely don't want to think of it all.

p.s. my sleep always sucks, even with ambien.

[justjoanie]

Wow, I've been feeling the same way lately. I like the way splitz put it, I just want to hibernate.
Wish I had some words of wisdom. I don't know your situation, but my only thought is.... If you are sleeping alot already, then don't take anything that's going to make you sleep more. It will only magnify the depression.

[SophiaG]

Are you seeing a therapist? Some talk therapy could be really helpful.

You know, oftentimes depression tells us that there is something that needs to change in our lives. Think about it ok?

[Rohag]

Questions (no need to answer):

• How much of what you're experiencing is wanting to sleep versus needing to sleep?
• Even though the depression is persistent, when you awake from sleep, are you at all refreshed? (Thanks, Splitz!)
• When are you sleeping? You are taking daytime naps (I assume), but how about your "standard" nighttime sleep patterns? Are you sleeping through the night? Do you find yourself taking a long time to fall asleep? Do you wake repeatedly during the night? Do you experience early-morning awakenings being unable to get back to sleep?

(((((((ifeeltheweight)))))))
I'm sorry you're going through a rough time right now. Do you have anyone you can talk to about how you're feeling? A therapist, family doctor, family member or friend? It helps a lot to talk to someone who is a good listener.

Also, if you're not taking any anti-depressants, you may want to consider trying. Sometimes it's a large part of recovery.

If you ever need someone to talk to, you can also feel free to send a pm to me. I'd be happy to chat with you.

[ifeeltheweight]

Wow! Thanks for all the replies. I'm new to forums. I'll try to answer all your questions. I'm on medication, have been for months. I also see a psychologist weekly and my primary care is very supportive. I now have a psychiatrist who is adjusting my meds. I have family history that includes bipolar and depression.

I think I joined this group because I don't live with my docs and sometimes I need someone to talk to. I'm not a sharing person so the forums seemed like the best bet.

I don't sleep well with or without sleep meds. My sleep includes all of the above in the prev post. I'm not tired but want to sleep. I don't want to be awake. This is not the same as my suicidal thoughts but a sad feeling.

[MoonTurtle]

Originally Posted by ifeeltheweight

Wow! Thanks for all the replies. I'm new to forums. I'll try to answer all your questions. I'm on medication, have been for months. I also see a psychologist weekly and my primary care is very supportive. I now have a psychiatrist who is adjusting my meds. I have family history that includes bipolar and depression.

I think I joined this group because I don't live with my docs and sometimes I need someone to talk to. I'm not a sharing person so the forums seemed like the best bet.

I don't sleep well with or without sleep meds. My sleep includes all of the above in the prev post. I'm not tired but want to sleep. I don't want to be awake. This is not the same as my suicidal thoughts but a sad feeling.

I have been there. One time, I did sleep away most of a weekend with the help of over-the-counter sleeping pills. It wasn't so much that I was physically tired, but that I just wanted to "hibernate" as one of the other posters said. I wanted to escape. Didn't want to face life at the moment.

Seeing a therapist was very helpful for me. I hope it's helping you. It's good to have someone to talk to who won't be judgmental. The only two people in the world who even know what I've gone through are the therapist I was seeing face-to-face and a counselor I spoke to on the phone. I am still hesitant to tell anyone else about my problems, because I'm so afraid of being rejected by those I care about. I suppose that's why I came to the forums too, so I can try sharing my feelings with others who might understand.

I had sleep problems for a long time, but they did eventually get better. Hang in there, and I hope things improve for you soon!

[ifeeltheweight]

Moon,
I have the same problem with sharing my problems. I've always held them in.
I'm a man, father and I'm expected to be the strong one but this almost seems unbeatable. I'm just starting to tell family and friends about my issues slowly and they are supportive. I does help take some of the weight off. Thanks for sharing.
I'm having a better day today. The forum is helping pass some of the time.

Leave the strong, silent stuff at home when you meet with your psychologist. Therapy is a cooperative venture. Your psychologist cannot give your his/her best work if you are not forthright and inclusive about your concerns. A good result in therapy requires the active participation of both.