[drunksunflower]

well .. after a few months of being really good ... and busy with fantastic new job, great flat, and wonderful friends ... i think i have hit a down aain and I am so pissy and upset and annoyed with myself.

i was feeling all good and then a couple of weeks ago went out to DJ Rectangle ... had had a few red wines and a yummy tapas dinner ... and was in a fabulous mood ... and was offered a pill (an E). I used to be real into that %#@&#! years ago but while doing my thesis and stuff I realised I couldn't keep taking drugs and do well at uni and career stuff. I have had the odd one since but been pretty well behaved.

Anyway - I expected a bit of a comedown ... but i have felt terrible for the last two weeks, really edgy and crying at anything and today I got really snappy and impatient at work. and lost my house key and was a mess. dumb %#@&#! like that.

i stopped taking Celepram (Celexa) a few months ago and I have been ok, not perfect but pretty good. i don't want to have to take stupid medication again and i have tried 5HPT and stuff to try and get back on track.

I don't know what to do I am have got no work done this week because i have no concentration and can't sleep very well. and have a lot of cool projects on that i need to get done but jsut don't seem to be able to do.

just one party night couldn't put me back to square one could it?

sorry for babbling.

dsf.

[Myzen]

Hi d,

Ouch, it's horrid to have a come down. Do you think it was just the e. or were you already sensing a change in the cycle?

It is very disappointing when we feel the change, and now is the time to buckle up and cope with it IMHO. When I have a turndown I always remind myself that this is part of the deal when we have an illness and not some new terrible thing sent to punish me. It's just the some old same old.

Cheers, M

PS - Just a thought, but I am very careful about drugs since having more serious depression. That's only my own strategy though, and I do slip with the alcohol now and then (and pay the price!)

[drunksunflower]

I know ... I am fine having a few wines every now and again. And I only have drugs very very rarely . But I'd been feeling so good and we decided to have some pills while going to a wikkid hiphop gig - a real treat ...

I don't know, I don't know about a 'cycle' ... but i will do anyting to avoid taking medication again.

help please tell me what to do

[drunksunflower]

Can anyone give me any more advice?

ty for your words myzen