[Berries]

does any one ever feel like life doesn't suck, you just suck at life?
Does any one get suicidal when a stranger stays at your house for a week? Even though they stay away from you, the whole time?

[JustWannaDisappear]

(((((berries)))))) yes I feel like I just suck at life.

[tangodream]

Originally Posted by JustWannaDisappear

(((((berries)))))) yes I feel like I just suck at life.

I feel like I suck at life, too. I feel like such a failure as I watch everyone else around me go through life doing what needs to be done & being able to feel good.

Kim

[googley]

((((((Berries))))

[lonegael]

Aw berries, yeah sometimes I feel that way. My visitors left and they just managed to punch buttons without meaning to and I have been jittery and down since. So good at being there for others and ifeel right now like I can't get my own stuff together. Life is hard, dear. None of us get to practice before hand, and I've been winging it since I started HUGGGS and I really hope that you feel better soon.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by Berries

does any one ever feel like life doesn't suck, you just suck at life?

YES. More specifically, I feel I bring an assortment of things to the table of life -- some good, some bad, some useful, some dysfunctional. In sum, I see my dysfunctions undermining the potentially good and useful.

Originally Posted by Berries

Does any one get suicidal when a stranger stays at your house for a week? Even though they stay away from you, the whole time?

Not yet...

[iluuvpups]

I totally feel I suck at life. I'm 46 and have never figured out what I should be doing with mine. I see everyone else with their spouses and children and jobs and vacations and hobbies. I have never figured out any of that. I feel like my life has just been a total waste because I don't know how to live it.

[jacq10]

((((((Berries))))))

I wonder what life might feel like for you if you didn't "suck at it?" How might it feel? In which ways would it be different?

I don't think I've ever met a person who doesn't feel as though they suck with some respect of their life... but fortunately life isn't made up of one singular event, and you have many opportunities to show yourself that you are not a failure

[Berries]

Originally Posted by iluuvpups

I totally feel I suck at life. I'm 46 and have never figured out what I should be doing with mine. I see everyone else with their spouses and children and jobs and vacations and hobbies. I have never figured out any of that. I feel like my life has just been a total waste because I don't know how to live it.

We must be twins separated at birth. I could have written the same things you did. Only difference--I am 44.

[tangodream]

It is okay to feel this way sometimes, Berries.

[Berries]

Originally Posted by jacq10

((((((Berries))))))

I wonder what life might feel like for you if you didn't "suck at it?" How might it feel? In which ways would it be different?

I don't think I've ever met a person who doesn't feel as though they suck with some respect of their life... but fortunately life isn't made up of one singular event, and you have many opportunities to show yourself that you are not a failure

I wouldn't be so scared. I wouldn't have almost died from a sucide Overdose.--3 times. I wouldn't get depressed. I wouldn't need meds, that only help a little. I wouldn't get psychotic and delusional. I wouldn't need shock treatments. I wouldn't have spent 3 years in the hospital, plus many crisis hospitalizaations.
I would have a career. I'd be a professor. I would have kids and grandkids. I would have pusued my hobbies.
I might have a life partner. Instead of a series of girlfriends that took advantage of my illness.
I would have worked more than a part time job and actually keep them for a decent amount of time.
I would be able to touch objects or my face with bare hands. I wear latex gloves. I have them on now.

Shall I go on and on.....

That is what it would feel like if I didnt suck at life.

[Berries]

Originally Posted by tangodream

It is okay to feel this way sometimes, Berries.

Ya, I know. I don't feel this way all the time. But I occasionally have a pity pary and this is what my party looks like.

[Amazonmom]

Yes, but that doesn't mean it's true.

I'm sorry things are bad for you right now...

[Berries]

Originally Posted by Amazonmom

Yes, but that doesn't mean it's true.

I don't know what you mean. What is not true?

[SophiaG]

But why have a pity party when you can have a party in your pants? ;D

[jacq10]

Originally Posted by Berries

Shall I go on and on.....

((((Berries))))

I suppose I wasn't really clear in what I said. I meant, if you could imagine your life how you want it, how would that *feel* ... if you can imagine it, then it is well within your capabilities. Many of those things you mentioned aren't out of the question. Sure that big list may look scary, but if you can break down some of those things into smaller parts, I bet you could find a way to make some strides towards that goal. You can't change whats happened in the past, but the first step to change is recognition, and you've already done that... so keep on striding! We all believe in you

[Berries]

most of those things will never change. I have 2 chronic illnesses, bipolar I and severe OCD. They will never go away. And because am too old I won't have children or grandkids. To take care of myself, I will always only work part time.
My meds help a great deal, but I'll never be high functioning.
As far as how it would feel--I have no idea. I've been severly sick since 16 yrs old.

[eskielover]

Originally Posted by Berries

does any one ever feel like life doesn't suck, you just suck at life?
Does any one get suicidal when a stranger stays at your house for a week? Even though they stay away from you, the whole time?

I think that when we look at others, we don't see the things that they suck at in life because most people are pretty good at hiding those things from others......I think that everyone has things they suck at in their life & only if we know them in a very personal way are we ever able to see those things in them. You are not alone......try to remember that everyone has things in life that they suck at.

I remember feeling suicidal when we allowed a person to move into our spare room (his mother had been in the medical hospital be next to me when I was being treated for one of my bad times with anorexia). It was so stressful that I ended up having suicidal feelings. Bad move on my part because I ended up in the psych ward & he was alone in the house while my husband was at work.....many things ended up missing including much of my meds which only made matters worse when I got home again......ugh......yep.....that was a huge period of my life where I really sucked at it.

The good thing is that time passes & some of the things we experience when we are sucking at life we learn from & can end up making changes so that we don't continue sucking at all the things in life forever....they just change to other things along the path.....sometimes more & sometimes less are the things we suck at, but we do survive in spite of ourselves & the bad times & grow & learn from our experiences. We may be stuck with some of the things, but even those change with time & some times are better than others.

Hopefully this really bad time will pass & you will have a time where you feel some better to give yourself a chance to regroup & take a breather. Sometimes we need our pity parties to let off the steam & know that we aren't alone. This can help to make us feel a bit better also especially when we know we aren't alone & can pity party together with others who have similar feelings.....good to know we aren't alone.

Take care & hope you are feeling better about yourself soon.

[WikidPissah]

yea, I absolutely suck at life, and I'm 45. I can't have people in my home because I get way too freaked out. Not even for coffee or a brief visit. Even when my mom stops by I feel like I'm going to lose it.

[Amazonmom]

I just meant that the idea "Berries sucks at life" is not true.

When you stopped posting for a while I missed reading your posts.

[justfloating]

I MAJORLY suck at life. I never have any idea what I'm doing, where I'm going or what I want. But I figure all I can do is learn from my mistakes as best I can, and take things one day, one breath at a time. My dad likes to use the analogy of a plane that's lost its engine -- it's not because the engine failed that the plane crashed, it's that the pilot panicked and took his hands off the controls. If you try to keep calm and continue flying the plane, then you can coast into a safe landing. Fly the plane.

[Berries]

Originally Posted by Amazonmom

When you stopped posting for a while I missed reading your posts.

Thank you, Amazonmom.

[Butterflyangel]

I feel that alot. I guess we all do. I think this is why I feel numb all the time. so I don't feel those feelings. I guess I have become good at hiding how I really feel. I hope you feel better. I hope you find that one thing to help you get out of this funk.