[Hellion]

I frequently feel like my head is going to explode, not litterally but I'm having a lot of issues and am rather concerned about my sanity. And the problem is I probably should seek medical attention, but I'm sort of afraid to talk to any of my familly or anyone about it so I keep putting it off.

I did attempt talking to my dad, but he thinks he understands how I feel and just tells me not to worry about it and just go along with my life...he doesn't seem to get that whatever mental issues im having are getting in the way of me doing that.

So yeah I just don't know what to do.

[FeelingHopeful]

Hellion Im sorry your having such a tough time with your family , not being able to tell them. Do you have anybody in your life you can talk to on this? I think its wonderful you reached out on here. This site is great, everyone is very supportive.

[Hellion]

Well there are a couple people I could probably talk to in my familly, and hopefully I can get some support because that would make it a lot easier for me to seek help. But yeah I need to find out what exactly is wrong with my mind and what i can do about it to get through life. Its just hard for me even to fully admit to myself that I might have mental issues.....society seems to look down on such things.

[splitimage]

Helion,

Welcome to PC - I hope you find the site supportive. Talking about mental health can be difficult, especially when family members aren't receptive.

Are you still in school? If so you could try talking to a counsellor there, they can be very helpful, both in accessing help and talking with family members.

If not is there another adult you trust who'd you feel comfortable talking to - aunt or uncle, neighbour, spiritual leader. Perhaps you could talk to them and ask for help in talking to your family.

Another option is to write it out - exactly what you're feeling, why it's getting in the way of your life, and what you'd like eg. an appointment with a gp for a referal / therapy whatever. You could either give it to your dad to read or you could ask to talk to him sometime when he's not busy and read it to him. Somtimes having it written down makes it easier to say what you need to say.

And post as much as you like here.

--splitimage

[Hellion]

well I have not been back here for a while due to lack of internet access...anyways I was going to college but I dropped out about 6 months ago because I could not sit in the classrooms for more then a half hour before I would start feeling trapped and like the walls where closing in. As for familly members they just don't really seem to take it seriously which is odd considering I attempted suicide at the age of 15. But yeah I feel like i should talk to psychologist so I can get some sort of diagnosis because I'm a little sick of being treated like someone who makes excuses and overexagerates to get out of things when that's not really whats going on.

I've kinda been putting it off though which is not good because things are getting worse. sometimes I find myself acting really confrontational and aggressive, which is totally opposite of how I am its like something within just takes over while I'm in a detached state unable to do anything about it. Then when I come out of it or whatever I don't even understand how I could be capable of such behavior. It concerns me because it could get me in trouble or killed like if something sets it off and I end up provoking a fight with someone. Also I keep having suicidal thoughts that I don't want to act on but I feel like someone in the back of my mind is encouraging me to do it......Its like something In my mind is doing whatever it can to try and kill me or at least make my life hell. I also recently lost a job due to rather odd and unproductive behavior which I was lied to about. I was told I was doing well but they did not need me any more which was fine with me until I heard from family members that the people in charge of the job thought my work quality was going down hill and where disturbed by how I acted but didn't want to hurt my feelings by being honest. I am really frustrated about all this and I don't even know what to think.

http://www.nami.org/template.cfm?sec...our_local_nami
http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/fin...therapy/all/1/
http://blogs.psychcentral.com/bipola...-see-a-doctor/
http://www.ashp.org/Import/PRACTICEA...ePrograms.aspx

[Perna]

Hellion, it might be easier to just go to your regular doctor for a checkup and tell him what you're up against and see what he recommends. Just decide you want some base level tests to make sure you're physically okay and explain to the doctor, that because of your age, situation, and no one seeming to be hearing you, you don't know how to proceed in your particular situation, what would he suggest you do. He might have a referral for you and that would make it easier, you could just tell everyone you were following-up on what the doctor said, that might have enough "authority" so they'd be able to hear better.

I don't think your parents and other close relatives want you to be ill, that might mean to them that they've failed you. So, they're trying to reassure you (and themselves) instead of looking at the overall picture (your suicide attempt at 15, your dropping out of college, and your complaints now). I would get someone outside the family involved, someone they'd respect to help you get some treatment. Are you in contact with whoever you saw when you were 15 or could you go "there"?

[Hellion]

Yeah it seems like they just don't want to listen to me when I try and explain that I am concerned about my state of mind. Its like they just encourage me to ignore it and assume all my problems will be gone that way.......but that is what I've tried doing many times. Which only makes it worse and adds to my isolation and feelings of loneliness around people.

I did almost schedule an appointment to talk to a counselor, but I have not gone through with it yet because I don't know if they can really do enough. I mean usually i just end up telling them about the depression and anxiety when I am actually concerned there could be more wrong then that like maybe a personality disorder or something because I've always had weird issues even at a much younger age.....but I can never seem to express that well enough. I guess I just don't know how to go about it, because I don't want to come of like I've been reading up on mental issues so I can fake having some problem i don't really have. But if I don't talk about my other concerns they could get worse.