[Valis]

I hate being alone...
I hate being so self concious
I hate letting down expectations
I hate lying to myself, saying everything will be fine
I hate feeling the way I do.

and I hate always having the losing hand in the card game of "Life"

This fall is going to be a rough one for me



I'm going to take a nap.

[irish_angel]

I wish there was a magic cure for this thing called life, and I too see the ways that fall is going to be another time of life full of let downs and failures, I wish you the best and hope you feel better.

[LadyDragus]

i am sorry you feel this way..

is there anything I we can do for you???

what is makign you feel this way???
\
Welcome to the fourms by the way ..
My name is Lady D. and I am a dargon and I have big shoulders and wings to sit under if you ever need to talk ok.

((((((((((( safe hugs to you ok ))))))))))))00

[Hope4me2]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{valis}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

i'm so sorry that life is dealing you such bad things right now. xoxo pat

[Dervish]

I am glad not sorry in the slightest that you are so
beset by your realizations.Be courageous.
Everything is just so terribly hard at first.
---------------ESSENCE OF HAPPINESS-----------------------------------------

The way to experience ultimate happinness is to let
go of all worries and regrets and know that being happy is the most satisfying of life's feelings.Reflect back on all progress in your life and allow the positive,creative and joyous thoughts to outshine and
overwhelm any sorrow or grief that may be lingering there in the recesses of your mind.Knowing that disease and disaster are natural parts of life
is the key to overcoming adversity with a calm and
happy spirt.
Happiness is wait there in front of you.Only you can decide whether or not you choose to experience it.
Take this to heart!
Toshitsugu Takamatsu
Togakure Ryu Ninjutsu 33rd Grandmaster

[Valis]

Thank you all for your kindness. I hate sounding like a whining brat here...but sometimes I swear there is now other way to express it.

Thank you so much LadyDragus. I was actually quite nervous, and feeling stupid for posting this blurb on my current life situation.

...some of my distress is coming from money, is my worst enemy right now...I can barely pay for college, and I am almost positive that I will have to drop out next semester. I makes all of this work I did seem useless. It seems like nothing is actually worth the effort .

It doesn't hep that lately I have been trying to open up to my family about the way I feel, and its not working at all. My social skills on these topics are absolutely horrid.

I have no money to get help professonial help right now, and my family won't contribute...so I'm stuck waiting on money of a T (which will not happen in awhile).

I don't know its very confusing.

Dervish, happiness may be a virtue, but what makes me happy has been taken away it seems like.

either way , thank you all once again for trying to help. It means alot.

[LadyDragus]

well I am here if you need to talk ok. .

I can understand the no money thing.. trust me

[Babieca]

You may have been dealt a bad hand, but any hand whatsoever is a positive indication that you are still in the game.

[(JD)]

Sheesh, life is a card game? And here I sit with chessmen! (I Must have some aces to share somewhere...)

[Myzen]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Valis said:
I hate lying to myself, saying everything will be fine

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Hi Valis,

You're right about this. I have worked hard to accept things as they are rather than living in hope.

Maybe it's unrealistic to say 'everything willl be fine' I prefer to say ' I have an illness and I am going to survive it and make the best of what I have and what good times I do get'.

There is no lying at all in that position.

Hope it lightens for you,

M