[LittleMissSunshine]

so after my ex *****ed me out last weekend and then not talking for over a week, he randomly messaged me today to "bury the hatchet" i stopped dead in my tracks when i got it. my heart sank. i'm so not over him. i torture myself looking through his facebook photos. i wanted him to say "i made such a horrible mistake. i miss u". i told him i needed more time. wasn't ready to bury the hatchet. all he had to say to that was "okay, take whatever time u need" sure i guess that's a good thing. but i just want him to fight for me so bad. i want the guy i fell for to come back. not this douchebag he turned into. i literally have no interest in other guys at the moment. i have a guy texting me and wanting to hang out and telling me that he thinks i'm really pretty. but all i can think is how i wish my ex would do and say these things.

i'm so sad for the way things turned out and how things ended. i'm sad because i feel like there was this amazing opportunity that i ruined. and i do feel like it's my fault. that i became codependent and drove him further and further away. it is a good thing to not be together right now. but i keep holding on to the hope that it will happen again someday. and that it'll be everything we thought it would be the first time.
i miss him so much. and i hate that. i hate that my heart still aches, when his probably doesn't at all. i hate how one text can send me reeling and he can go forever without hearing from me and be just fine.
my heart hurts and i feel sad and alone.

[Rohag]

Hello, LittleMissSunshine!

In another of your posts you said you've been working on yourself quite a bit. That's wonderful (and I'm envious). Here you have people, including your ex, berating you, tearing you down. You don't need me to point out that isn't helping.

When it comes to feelings, I'm a pessimist. I have little confidence I -- as a depressive -- can deal with them directly. The bad feelings are weeds I can't pull up. What I can do is plant good things and fertilize them in hopes they will grow up and crowd out the weeds. More power to all those with better methods!

Is it possible for you, in your specific set of physical and emotional circumstances, to get some distance from all those who are not contributing to your upbuilding?

Peace and clarity to you, LittleMissSunshine.

[Naturefreak]

LittleMissSunshine

You will see better days

[LittleMissSunshine]

Rohag,
it is possible. though i find it hard to do. especially when u want those people in your life. it's hard to accept that u can't change or be the catalist of change in others when u so badly want them around. but maybe that's why they are in our lives. to remind us of these things. it's almost like an addiction though. i liken it to that cuz i'm gonna try to quit smoking again. u just find it hard to go without sometimes and get relief from it/them so u try to reason with yourself and forget the bad and think only of the good. which is a good way to look at life, but not if it's something destructive in your life.

I really like your planting of good to overshadow the bad. it's a great metaphor and visual. cuz there will always be the bad. seeing as no one is perfect.

I really appreciate the replies. thank you both! xoxo

[Kiffygirl0793]

I'm sorry you're hurting, the best advice I can give you is unfriend him on fb. I remember guys who I liked who didn't want me back, and it didn't bother me, cause I just lost contact with them, but with fb, you see him talking to other girls, and it makes it harder to get over him.

[Wantabenormal]

I've been down this road many times and I know it's hard. I learned how to get out of the loop by distancing myself from the ones who caused my pain and stopped looking for "the right relationship". It was only then that my now husband came along. I'm a true believer that the things that you need most will find you when the time is right, you just have to be patient.