[Psyclox]

I know that for a fact tomorrow night will be by far the worst night of my life, cause Brenda the love of my life the only person who is the reason why I still continue living is going to her high school prom with another guy tomorrow night and what makes it even worse is that he is a friend of mine, there is only three people who know that I aint happy about it and they all tell me the same thing I'm not there so I musn't worry or be sad, I am sad cause I wish it were me but when she was looking for sum1 to go with her we weren't talking to each other cause of all the shite I put here through, but know we are talking again and she knows about all of my shite that I am going through right now in my life and she is there for me when I need her but I don't want here to go with this guy cause I know him and I know what he is like and I can't exavtly go and tell her cause she will get really angry with and tell me not to be jealous, but I can't help it I just love her so much that I can't bear to spend the rest of my life without her I need her in my life and she is but not the way I want her to be and now she is going to the prom with this guy and it eats me up inside to even think of it, I know he won't do try anything but my mind is running wild with paranoid thought about what might happen and it kills me to even consider what might happen, she is more important to me than any1 else in my life, we are not together she says all we will ever be is just friends and I can live with that, but I cannot bear to think of her with another guy, at the moment she is going out with another friend of mine who just happens to be in England at the moment and he is only coming back next year May, she loves she says and I love her, its a visious cycle but I know that I love her and that is all that counts but right now I am so depressed and I just know that tomorrow will be even worse. GOD I LOVE HER SO MUCH!

[attekus]

I have had those feelings before about others in my life. I know it's hard now as it was for me so hard I didn't think I could bear it, ( I once obsessed over a man that physically abused me and who was seeing me and another girl at the same time). I obsessed over what they were doing while I was having his baby and he was in Texas with her out partying). This didnt' help me one bit. You never know but ten years from now she could turn into a mean crazy girl and you could find the girl of your dreams when you get out of high school who knows? Attekus

[Psyclox]

the thing is I know she is the one for me all I think about is what our lives will be like if we were together like i picture us sitting in our house with all our kids around and all the grandkids, I picture driving her to the hospital cause she is in labour with our first kid, picture us growing old together and being there for each other for the rest of our lives, she is the one for me and no other will ever come close to being anything like her, every time I even look at another girl I feel guilty cause I feel like I cheated on her, she is my love, she is the only girl I love i love her more than life and I will die for her, I will do anything for her and i mean anything, i lost her once and I will never let her go again, I love her she is the one for me but alas she loves me not, not in the way I want her to any way, I see us driving to our kids first school play, I see us bening there when our kids get married, I see us fighting over sumthing stupid then making up and saying we are sorry to each other, but I know we will never be, but in the end at least I have her in my life even if it is just as a friend and nothing more, cause all I need is her and she is the only 1 that makes me happy and I mean trully happy in life.

[h0kie]

I know it seems that she is the only one for you right now. But chances are you WILL find someone else in the future. I felt the same way about a boy when I was in high school. Now, I am married to a wonderful man and I couldn't imagine him not being in my life. I seldom think of that other guy. In fact, I don't even know where he is right now.

That being said, right now, it hurts. I think right now, the harder you persue her, the further she will run. If it is meant to be, she will come back. You're a great guy, if she can't appreciate that, you need to find someone who will.

Try to keep yourself busy tomorrow.

[Psyclox]

I shall try and it will be hard but at least a I shall be at work, but lets just clarify sumthing I am out of school already I am 20 yrs old she is 17 turning 18 on December 28 of this year, but the thing is she is the one for me no other can even come close to being anything like her she is my SOUL MATE.

[h0kie]

I realize you are out of school. I never said you were still in school...I was just saying when I was in school this happened to me. I believe soul mates have to be mutual. But that's just me.

I'm sorry tomorrow will be hard for you. I will be thinking of you and hoping it passes quickly and as painlessly as possible. It stinks when you have a broken heart.

[Psyclox]

Thank you I really do apreciate all the support I get here, so again I thank you and every1 else who gives me the support i need to get by. THANK YOU.

[dottie]

Hi...what are her plans for her future now? Will she be going to college to further her education and prepare for life ahead?

~Dottie

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((((psyclox))))))))))))))) i'm sorry, honey. i remember that hurt. it's a hurt you'll never forget. however, it will ease. till then i'm sending you healing wishes.

kd

[(JD)]

(((( hugs )))))

[attekus]

I think that you should be patient and try to keep your mind off of her for now so that you don't torture yourself. If you allow her freedom she might really be impressed that you care enough about her feelings and what she wants to do. She needs to growup and experience life and all it could have to offer. Same thing with you, at your age I don't think you should predict what your life is going to like because when you do that you aren't open to having new experiences . Please just be patient and wait because honestly the future really isn't ours to predict and you are limiting the possibilities of what could happen in your life. Leave yourself open for others to get to know you. Attekus4.