Is everything I know wrong?

I called a crisis counselor after a serious setback this week, and I came away feeling worse than I did before receiving her "advice" She told me that I could beat depression with "fresh air and exercise" and that the coping skills I learned during my last hospitalization, journaling, keeping appointments, making time to take care of myself, etc, were useless and that I should stop doing them. Note* when I feel especially bad, I send my daughter to a trusted friend's house so that she doesn't have to see me like that. This woman told me that I was being selfish, and that I was really ditching her so I could get "me time". There's more, much more, but you get the idea. How could someone so far out be trusted to talk to people in crisis? Or am I wrong? Could the entire staff at the hospital be wrong, too? I've been severely depressed for a long time now, unable to feel anything numbness and sadness, but this woman made me furious!

I do not think she is entirely incorrect, as for my therapy 'fresh air and exercise' is PART of the entire picture.
Hopefully you can find another person to talk to with a larger base of knowledge.
Can you make a complaint to how you were treated?


g1

This is obserd. This lady does not know what she is talking about. First the coping skills you learn are very good coping skills. As far as the fresh air and exercise, yes that is good for anyone. Duh....woman. As far as taking your daughter to a friends house, there is absolutly nothing wrong with that. Besides every one needs their me time, but it doesn't sound like you are sending her away just for that. I commend you for taking your child to a good friend, family, where that is safe. That is the best for you and her. Don't listen to this woman. I personally would call the crisis # back and tell them you want to file a complaint on this woman. That is obserd what she is telling you.

Good luck colder.

Hello & Welcome, Colder!
I'm glad you became furious at what she told you. Don't get me wrong; I'm very sorry you were subjected to that nonsense. I'm glad you could recognize the nonsense for what it was and react appropriately -- become rightfully angry and bring your anger to this forum.

Gently1 and Tryingtobeme above have offered you good thoughts. Such a telephone encounter would shock me into numbness for a time. I do hope, when you are feeling better, you can find the energy and focus to report the incident. Your complaint may help others.

Thank you for posting this.

A telephone crisis counselor is not in the position to be telling you any of that type of thing. You have a regular counselor and a plan to help yourself, and her jobis to remind you of that and help you work through that. If she is not a licensed therapist or psychologist she should not be trying to second guess your work with your T and guilt you out, and she should be reported.
If you are badly depressed, you are not in a position to handle your daughter wither and i am not talking about being a little blue. I think you know that as well. That is something I don't think theis so called couselor gets. You are right to react and I think that you should talk to your T or the place where you were hospitalised for further advice and to the organization or clinic that runs that line. This woman could cause a lot of trouble. Good for you for catching her! excersize and fresh air is good, but it''s not the whole story, dear. HUGGGSSS and chin up!

oh dear. I would be furious too. Journaling, making "you time", keeping appointments: these are all accepted things. Maybe she was trying to think of something new, maybe she wasn't well trained? who knows.

I think what's important to take out of this is the following:
You find your current coping skills somewhat effective or at the very least comforting. I personally would advise retaining these things.

Fresh air and exercise can help too. Those are other skills that some people use and find extremely effective (at some points exercise was the thing that helped me the most - however at other points it was useless because Iwasn't well enough to use it and do it reguarly)

Don't let this person get to you. Keep trying, and reaching out if you can =)

((((((((colder)))))))))

I'm sorry you had such a negative experience with this woman. She should not have said what she did. Clearly she has no idea what she's talking about. Your coping mechanisms are great, safe, healthy ways of dealing with your depression and if they work for you, then I fail to see how they could be considered "useless." What you're doing is GOOD for you and you should be proud that you're taking such positive steps in your journey to recovery. I journal too, and I find it INCREDIBLY therapeutic. A LOT of people do. What planet is this woman from?!

I do hope that you lodge a complaint. It's terrible what this woman said to you but maybe you'll be able to help prevent her from ruining someone else's experience with the crisis line in the future.

If the friend you send your daughter to is kind, it is a broadening experience for your daughter to experience friendship beyond her own family, but with your approval. As she grows up she will be able to extend friendship to others all the more. She will know that there are safe ways of doing friendship - important in this weird world. And she will be able to cope better on the odd occasion she might see you in a bad state. It's thoughtful of you & your friends to provide that broadening opportunity & relief for her.

This is a very unselfish act and it takes a lot of courage to admit you need help during a bad episode. Your daughter is very lucky to have such a caring mother. As far as what the crisis line operator said to you all I can say is WOW and I hope you will consider making a formal complaint.

I'm so sorry you had this experience. This woman is way out of line and what she said to you is mind-boggling. As the others have said, she really needs to be reported. I'm truly sorry this happened to you. But I'm glad you got angry!!!!! That is a really healthy reaction!!! (((((((((((((colder)))))))))))))))

you are right, colder,, you had a bad experience. i've had so many of those bad experiences with crisis lines, i don't even use them any more,, i remember so often feeling angry after a call for help, that the anger was actually a relief, from the depression and other X ideations,, but that's not what they are there for~!! i hope you never need to make another crisis call, and if you do, that the person you talk to is at least well trained, or better yet, Competent~! best wishes,, and thanks for sharing,, Gus

I did file a complaint against that crisis worker today, with the help of my therapist, who also informed me that the worker had filed a charge of neglect against me for dropping my daughter off at my friend's.

WHATTTTT!!!!!?????? Neglect for making sure that your daughter was taken care of? Is it just me, or is there something wrong with this picture? Sorry, I'm sure you don't need my rant, but that is just completely twisted! HUGGS dear! Want you to know that you have my full support, for all that's worth.

Update: My T called me at home to let me know that the worker's boss had thrown out the neglect charge before it even left the office. : ) In addition, he assured me that there would be 'disciplinary actions' taken against her. I hope she doesn't come after me.

YAY!!! That is GREAT news. I am so pleased to hear this. WELL DONE for taking this further!

Yes!!! Well done! You did exactly as you should have! Who is she to start in like this? Dear, what she did was uncalled for, and it's time some one told her. Have you told T that you are worried she might retaliate?

that is ridiculous. some people can be foolish. dont take it to heart. you should find someone to help you up when your down not kick you.. the things that ***** said to you was sickening, you should just brush it off be the better person and walk away.