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#1
Nov 15, 2010, 05:15 PM
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I walked away feeling frustrated, exhausted, and empty. I felt like I didn't get to talk as much as I wanted to. Of course the first thing I did though is start bawling when it was my time to introduce myself and say how I felt. I was ok after, but there were a few times I wanted to cry but didn't, I held it in. Is this support group really for me? I don't know. I feel....I can't even think of the word. I think the word I'm looking for is 'broken'. I don't know if I can rehash everything again. I've been doing it over and over, but something isn't either clicking or I'm just not accepting my past, present and future. When I was there today I felt like I had it all together and I wanted to put my 2 cents in to everyone elses' problems and go on my merry way like I didn't have any problems. Is that the controlling person in me or the perfectionist. Is there a difference? When we were meeting with the Occupational Therapist, I was sitting next to her and as she was going through her notes she was trying to find something that she had written down and I spotted it right away. I wanted to point it out to her and show her on her own sheet where they were, but I didn't because I didn't want to be rude or have her think I was trying to take over the group. Everything she said today I already know. Do I really belong there? I have to wonder. I feel so frustrated. Did I mention that? I don't know if I am going to make it. I think they might end up throwing me out. I want to be the one in control. I feel so out of control and vulnerable. I just hope I can make it through this. Does any of this make any sense? It doesn't does it. I don't know what to do.......
Hugs
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God's guidance "I will bless the Lord who guides me; even at night my heart instructs me. I know the Lord is always with me, I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me." Psalm 16:7-8 NLT The steps of the godly are directed by the Lord. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will not fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand. Psalm 37:23-24 Giving thanks that God is near Sometimes we try to "ride out the storms" in our lives — doing this the best we can. We think, If I can just hang on and be strong, I can get through this. David knew he couldn't make it on his own. In the past, he had found help in the Lord God. And in this prayer, David again sought the Lord's protection: "Keep me safe, O God, for I have come to you for refuge" (v. 1). He rejoiced in the guidance and assistance the Lord had given him. Though his enemies were trying to shake and topple him, David stood firm because God was "right beside" him. In prayer today, acknowledge that God is right beside you — upholding and guiding you. Thank him that he helps you and does not leave you to struggle on your own. A prayer for today… Dear Lord, I will not be shaken, for you are right beside me… |
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#2
Nov 15, 2010, 05:32 PM
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Hello, hugs46. Perhaps you might print your post and give it to your treatment team. If this group does not work for you, maybe something else should be tried?
Last edited by TheByzantine; Nov 15, 2010 at 08:32 PM. Reason: Glok |
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#3
Nov 15, 2010, 08:13 PM
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((hugs46)
I am have been in an outpatient program since June, 2-3 times a week. I can tell you over time I felt so much of what you described. Now I am on a break, the team felt and I agree the last sessions even though I had a personal breakthrough it was too close to a breakdown. Part of me wants to keep going no matter what, that could be a major cause of getting into depression for me  , but I am learning there is time and space for everything I need to do.The GT focus in my program is on keeping the issues current, and learning new ways to think, act and even feel about out current situations. Rehashing is not 'goal' but it does happen. Do bring this up to your team remember it is about what is best for you! Gently1 |
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#4
Nov 16, 2010, 09:24 PM
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Made it through second day. It was a lot better today. I think just being the first day and not knowing what to expect just overwhelmed me and exhaust me to know end. I went away feeling better this afternoon when it was over.
Thanks everyone for your input and support. It means a lot. Nancy
__________________
God's guidance "I will bless the Lord who guides me; even at night my heart instructs me. I know the Lord is always with me, I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me." Psalm 16:7-8 NLT The steps of the godly are directed by the Lord. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will not fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand. Psalm 37:23-24 Giving thanks that God is near Sometimes we try to "ride out the storms" in our lives — doing this the best we can. We think, If I can just hang on and be strong, I can get through this. David knew he couldn't make it on his own. In the past, he had found help in the Lord God. And in this prayer, David again sought the Lord's protection: "Keep me safe, O God, for I have come to you for refuge" (v. 1). He rejoiced in the guidance and assistance the Lord had given him. Though his enemies were trying to shake and topple him, David stood firm because God was "right beside" him. In prayer today, acknowledge that God is right beside you — upholding and guiding you. Thank him that he helps you and does not leave you to struggle on your own. A prayer for today… Dear Lord, I will not be shaken, for you are right beside me… |
 Gently1
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