Questioning

What do you do when all you want is to run away from your life? When you're tired of everything? The family life, the husband, the kids, the job--all daily aggrivations. My life isn't horrible, esp. compared to some/most but lately, all I can think of is I Need Out Of Here NOW! I just am not coping with things as well as I'd like to. I know it's mostly the depression talking but I just want to escape for awhile. I know I can't though. I do get little breaks here and there but they never last long enough and it doesn't end up solving anything. I don't know what it would take or how long a break I'd need but I feel like if I don't get one soon I'm going to lose what little sanity I have left. I'm trying here. I'm trying to change the way I look at things, the way I feel about it, etc. But it's just not working out that well right now. So what do you do when you need to escape but have no way to actually do it? What do you to about the guilt you have for wanting to get away from all of it, even the people that love you? --That's where I'm at and I just don't know what to do from here.

Hi. Do you feel as though you are stuck in a rut?

~Dottie

Dottie:
Yes and no. Job wise, definitely yes. We have 3 kids, I work part-time around my husbands schedule. His full time job pays most of the bills, has the insurance, etc. His hours are odd, so finding something for me that works is difficult. -We work opposite so we don't need a sitter/day-care. The job I do is pretty meaningless, though I do have fun on some days. It's just not what I went to school for, it's not using my 'abilities', etc. so I'm at a place where I can't even stand going in most days. I have been looking for something different, but nothing's looking hopeful yet. As for being in a rut w/ everything else? I don't think I can really call it that - it's more like just wishing I was out of here. I'm just tired of it all. I'm not sure if changing this or that would actually make a difference. I've tried in the past, and I always end up back where I am now- feeling like I am now. I think I'm mostly confused about a lot of things. I don't know what I want most of the time and if I DO think of something, I don't know how to do it/or can't bring myself TO do it. -Does any of that make sense?

Are you resentful that your job has to work around your husbands schedule and you are not doing what you are educated to do and might really want to be doing? i think I might be.........from what u have posted, if it were me. Just a thought......

Parker:
I think there are about a million things I'm resentful for at this point. Though to be honest, about the job situation, I'm not really sure I could work full-time at something more demanding right now if it WAS a possibility. With my moods, my anxiety, my depression... I'm not feeling like I'd be a real asset to any company right now, ya know?

Working, taking care of the kids, the husband and the house leaves you very little time to take care of yourself.
You're adjusting your life to everyone else's needs. No wonder you feel like you need to escape!
On top of that-with what Parker said- it's not helping the situation at all.
Woman- you need a break! Not like a run away break- more like a VACATION away from the house,kids, husband and job. Yeah?
Yep,Yep!
Okay, you can't get away for a week or so-by yourself? Not do-able, right? What about a time slot every week? Like a two hour "MY TIME" thing? Is that do-able?
OR!!! GO get yourself a weekly theraputic massage!
If you can't afford a weekly then get it once a month. But it's gotta be for the full hour or even an hour and a half! It'll work wonders on your poor tired soul.
That's the best advice I can come up with.

Jax:
Thanks for the advice, any/all is appreciated at this point.
Though I don't really have a SET time to myself, I have been getting away a little here and there. I guess the thing is, when I come home or 'come out of my own little world'-reality is still there waiting for me to deal with it. It's just getting to the point where the small break isn't making it easier anymore. Ya know what I mean?

In your case-yeah! I know what you mean.
I don't know how working Mom's do it. I'm in awe.
I hope you find a way to take a vacation by yourself. It sounds like you really, really need it.
((((((((Justachick)))))))))