Adoption

Just signed adoption papers, i knew this was coming i just didn't think it would make me feel so miserable...it's just papers. did you know (in some states, mine) your name gets taken off the birth cirtificate and the adoptees take it's place, it's like a memory that will be erased. i'm not gonna even write what i think about myself and i don't want to call my p-doc because we have already had this conversation i don't know what more she can add. i hate feeling pain and i hate having to hide it so others don't see how bac it's effecting me. i liked it better when i was an unemotional little kid, at least nothing affected me. i need to go for a walk or something i feel like giving up. i had tto get this out i can't tell anyone i know how i am feeling everyone thinks i'm fine with the situation. i need something to dull the pain. theres only so much someone can endure in life.

I just wanted to send you some support through the ether. I don't have the magic words to make it better for you. If I did, I'd use them on myself. However, it sounds like you're having a rough time. I hope you'll reach out to someone, regardless of how hard it is (I am poor at doing this myself). Take care of yourself.

Hey, Racee,

You feel awful. What a bad time in anyone's life. Can you believe that what you've done is the best for both your baby and you? But even if it's true, which it probably is, that won't help you feel better right now. So it's good that you were able to start a thread here and write in for support. We're all here for you. Some of us even know how you feel. (((((((((((((((Racee))))))))))))))).
Take care.

he's 8 and i took care of him till he was about 4. he's with fam. and i see him all the time, it's just i'm not always on good terms with my fam. and theres always that chance of me getting refused to see him (i don't think they would ever do that) but he is better off. (sigh) the choices we make and the things we choose

I'm really sorry you're having to go through this and it must be very hard, but if you feel like it's for the best then it is probably the right choice.. I can't offer much other than my support and I hope that everything goes well for you.