Partial Program Delayed

>>oh, we haven't heard in 40 mins,so i think that means they've been there to get ya!

25 points for the correct answer!

They took me in and had me evaluated. The plan is for me to start tomorrow, don't know yet if it is going to be the full day or the half day program, but I'm supposed to expect to be picked up tomorrow at 8:00am.

I am very glad about this, but still apprehensive.

As I guess all of you know, I'm working on a leap of faith here, as that is all we can really do sometimes with regard to depression.

I have so many stressors right now... unpaid bills, car repossesed, no transportation, keeping up... so of course what I really want is someone to make all those stressors GO AWAY!

Unless Oprah or Ty Pennington come to my house that ain't gonna happen, so I feel hopeless.

But the hope is that with some treatment I will be better able to cope with this stress and find some sort of solution, and that's where the leap of faith is. The solutions I will have will not be any different then the solutions I have available now... but hopefully my outlook will change and I will be able to see some of those as "successful" solutions rather than "hopeless" solutions.

It is still a scary proposition... but very glad that at least I am now "work-in-progress".

Much better than lying around in bed all day long.

It sounds like you have a great attitude about all this, Dexter. I think it will serve you well. Good luck in the program.

I understand what you mean about the outlook thing.
It is managable if you look at it the right way. I hope your successful with this outlook more then Oprah and Ty coming to your house.
You can prove to yourself that you CAN do it and that my friend, is priceless!!
I'm living proof so hang in there!

So I start in the partial program today. The program starts daily at 9:00am. They will be here to pick me up around 8:00am.

So all's well and good... EXCEPT... it is already 9:15.

Maybe the bus is lost (that's what took so long yesterday, but it wasn't the bus it was a staff member sent to pick me up for the screening.)

I hardly slept, it was very difficult getting out of bed early and getting ready for this. If it is a no-show I'm going to be pretty crushed.

I feel kind of active but can't get started on anything because then the bus will show up and I'll be interupted. So I'm back to waiting.

Going to take a break, but I'll be back... if you don't hear from me until the afternoon it means I was picked up (yay!) or I went back to sleep

Not today.

There was a problem with the transportation service.

But they let me know about it so that's OK. I'm overexhausted from being up so early and waiting but I understand that there are problems sometimes... last week it was the waiting with no word that was killing me.

So maybe I'll try to get some more sleet or something... another day passes. At least Gilmore Girls is on tonight

Sorry they weren't able to make it, Dexter. At least you know why this time. I'll second your notion on Gilmore Girls. That shows has its hooks in me good -- though I'll be away this evening and forced to tape it.

((((((((((((dexter)))))))))))))

Hi Dexter!!
Sorry it was a no show again. I'm sure this isn't helping you any with your anxiety. (((((((((Dexter)))))))))

I am having a difficult day today. I've been back in bed most of the day, I feel nauseaus and hungry and there is not much to eat here (I have a nice dinner planned but don't want to eat too early).

Right now I feel so completely unproductive and just feel really urged to go back to bed.

I also haven't been able to get to the laundromat and I needed to do so before my car was reposessed, so I've been rationing my clean socks and took a pair today, expecting to be going out.

I feel like a depressed mess today.

<font color="purple">
{{{{{Dex}}}}}

Glad you will be starting soon...I hope it helps, will be thinking of you. Hope you get some much needed rest =)
</font>

Sorry {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{DEX}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I know the feeling too . Life stinks and so do the soxck. LOL. Things can only go up from here ! Take care and keep your chin up ok?

Hugz~
Bethy

((((((((((Dave)))))))))))

xoxo

...And can't sleep tonight again, even with all the Lunesta.

Tonight is it not insomnia, more like anxiety but not racing thoughts, restless mostly, and trying not to think about having to get up again early tomorrow 'cause that is just adding to the anxiety...

((((((((((((((((Dex))))))))))))))))

So it's Wednesday morning and I'm up, dressed, waiting once again.

Joints are REALLY hurting today prolly 'cause of the weather.

It is really dark outside.

Bus isn't due yet for another 15 minutes, but I am here and ready to go. (And feeling really anguished and depressed I might add. I almost didn't get out of bed this morning even knowing that help starts today).

Still waiting... wondering if the rain is going to be a problem. Could be flooding on the highway I'm not aware of.

Sorry to be blathering on here but I don't have anything else to do but wait.

I'm more nauseous again today too, was yesterday too. Medication? Stress? Feels more like the latter to me.

So it is 9:00 now and no ride.

Once again, all dressed up but no place to go.

Program is supposed to start at 9:00, i.e. I am supposed to be there already.

When you're all dressed up and no place to go
Life seems weary, dreary and slow.
My heart has ached and bled for the tears I've shed,
When I've no place to go unless I went back to bed.

9:30 Time for me to give up and go back to bed...

{{{{{{{{{{DEXTER}}}}}}}}}}}There is just no darn excuse for this!
They need to call you and tell you if they are not gonna be coming to get you . Just common courtesy! This is making me upset too that your getting treated like this! This seems to be an unprofessional hospital. Noone deserves to be forgottten and ignored like this . And especially a good guy like you ! I am so sorry this is happening to you Sweetie. Keep that chin up ok?

Hugz~
Bethy

(((((((((((((Dexter))))))))))))))

So I got a couple hours more sleep. I'm still having trouble sleeping at night so I hope this doesn't interfere too much.

I honestly don't know what is going on. The people all seem very caring and anxious to get me help. Then it just all falls through.

And I want to just blame this on myself, because I don't have a phone so it is difficult for them to get in touch with me. But that really is no excuse. And that just covers the lack of contact out of courtesy, doesn't explain why they say everything is set up and then no one shows up.

I am still drowsy, can't focus too clearly.

I'm not mad at this I am just upset because more and more I feel there is no way out of this rut even with treatment. I still haven't had someone help me get groceries and I have almost nothing left in the house to eat, and I'm hungry and quite frankly I was hoping for the hospital meal during the partial program to help with that.

oh ((((((((((((((((dexter)))))))))))))))))))

i'm so sorry. i agree that there is no excuse for this. when you are in touch with them, i hope the explanation can justify the actions so you might feel just a tad better.

i'm really so sorry.