delayed pain

I feel so bad today.. I have lately, but when i saw my T today, I didnt say anything about it. Now I feel worse. Its like I feel ok until I leave, now Im so hurting again. I'm not sure what to do b/c this always happens and im afraid im going to tax her cuz I always end up emailing her stuff and then getting to session and being stoic. What do you think i should do?

do you know what the pain is about? can you express it a little? here maybe? or write something for her?

Could you talk to her about this and ask for her help in getting to things while you're there.

I do get what you mean too, I think. And I wonder if you are like me in that you kind of hope she will guess at it ? It does feel awful to leave with something you meant to get to but couldn't. And if we're expecting T to guess at it and T doesn't, I think it feels much worse.

EV, I think this will get better with time. For me its because its that I still didn't trust enought. I'd want to talk about my stuff but after yrs of not having anyone listen to me I hadn't learnt how to trust..if emailing is the only way you can convey your pain for now, then thats ok. Part of you will be watching silently T's reactions to what you write, until one day, you suddenly blurt something out in session. Theres a saying in recovery, your right where you supposed to me.

((Esther))

I have often felt delayed pain in the working through of session. Sometimes it necessitates a phone call. Can you call her? I think you should call and let her know how you are feeling and then you two can explore this in session but you will have had the chance to get it off your chest so it doesn't weigh you down until next week. You might be surprised how much relief you can get from a five minute phone conversation.

I'm sorry you are feeling such pain.

Take gentle care.

((((((((((((((( esthersvirtue ))))))))))))))))

I would write out and try to tell your T (during your next session) about the pattern you see? Like Mouse commented, it will get better now that you see it and you might feel better just tellng your T you see it. Then the two of you can start commenting on it during sessions and gradually you'll be able to "switch" so you're saying more in session and emailing less.

i'll try that. im always doing this and i think it greatly annoys her i hate that i do this.

I wrote my T (snail mail) a couple times a week for 5-6 years before I decided to "quit" (cold turkey :-) and only talk to her during sessions. Changed therapy (and me) for the better right away. But it takes time to be able to do the direct one-on-one thing like that, to be "there" when you're there, and experience the other person there at the same time and both know/experience the relationship together.

i really tried in a special session to talk. i think i failed. i feel so messed up.