[LadyDragus]

<font color="#880000"> With all that is going on in my life, I should not be deperssed but I am way down in the dumps today. I have not been feeling too well, my back has been hurting badly over the last couple of days, and the pysical pain is making me hurt more and I think it is effecint me to the point I do not want to do anything..
I do not want to go to school, nor do I want to get out of bed. My mind is saying sleep all the time, but I know I cant, I have to go to schoool so I can pass both of my test next week and so forth and so on.

i know with the wedding comign up, my mood should be bouncing off the walls and I should be climbing the ceilings with happiness over the fact I am marrying the man I am in love with, but my heart just in not in the mood because of my pain and that makes me so sad because most of my family is not going to be at my wedding not even my own parents who my own dad will not be there to walk me down the isle, I have tried not to let this bother me, but it is really starting to bug the %#@&#! out of me .. it is starting to show in everythign I do.
I tend to snip more lately, and I do not like to do that. I want to be happy and I have put up a mask so others do not see what pain I am in, but I think it is starting to fade away, slolwy ever so slolwy and that is hurting me more and more.. One of my freinds said I need to smile more, how can I smile when i am hurting so bad on the insdie???? </font>

Lady, you're under a lot of stress. I'm not up to date with what's going on with your family and why they're not going to your wedding but I can totally understand how that must be eating at your emotions. Plus, planning a wedding in itself can be extremely nerve wracking.
((((((((Lady)))))))))))
I'm sorry you're in pain too on top of that. Boy, you're having a pretty tough time right now. Forgive yourself if you get a little short tempered and don't smile as much as you normally would.
Maybe confiding in one of your friends instead of trying to veil your pain would help make you feel better. I'm sure they'd love to be there for you during this tough time.
I really hope your back feels better soon and you find peace with your family not going. I'm so sorry about that. You need more hugs!!
((((((((((((Lady))))))))))))))

[LadyDragus]

Thank you for the hugs.
I need them.

if i could confide in a freind other than my soon to be husband I would but none of my freinds understand how I feel, so i really do not have anyone to talk to

((((((((((((LadyDragus)))))))))))))))

I am so sorry! I understand how painful it must be that your parents will not be at your wedding.

I am sorry you are hurting physically too!

You have a lot on your hands! Pain, wedding, school, kids. wow! I think you need another hug!

<font color="red"> (((((((((((((((((((LadyDragus))))))))))))))))))
</font>

Time0

[LadyDragus]

Thank you..

for the hugs and understanding..

I need them rightnow

[dexter]

LD

First of all you have a lot going on and with the wedding coming up it is not surprising that all sorts of unexpected emotions are being stirred up. As sufferers of mental illness we do have to keep tabs on what we are feeling, but as Freud said sometimes a cigar is just a cigar

Which is not to say you shouldn't be looking for more happiness right now... you should be and you deserve it. {{{{{{{{LadyDragus}}}}}}}}

I would bet that when the day arrives, your love for him will be shining so brightly that everything will fall into place and you will be as happy as can be. It will be a magical day! It will be a day that you don't have to worry about others, or school, or anything else.

So for now don't worry about how you will be feeling on your wedding day... just take care of yourself now. I really hope you can find some relief from the physical pain. Could stress be aggravating it?

And any time you trust you can let your guard down, do so. Don't worry about how you should feel, just how you do feel, and take care of that.

Take care of yourself. Great things are in store.

{{{{{{{{LadyDragus}}}}}}}}}

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

((((((((((((((((((((((( LADYD )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I echo what the others have said you have way too much on your plate and weddings alone can be sooo stressful.....I do not know many brides who have had a blast before the wedding let alone with all the stuff youh ave going on

[Nerak]

(((((((((((Lady)))))))))) as far has having no one to talk to you have us - lean this way :-)

[kimmydawn]

((((((((((((ladydragus)))))))))))

i hope you feel better physically soon. pain can add to any emotional state/feeling.

i'm sorry about your family not being at your wedding.

please know that you're being thought of...

[Overcastbutclearing]

((LadyDragus))
I am here for you too.

[jbug]

((((((((LD))))))))))) I hope that you get to feeling back like your old self soon. It seems to me that a lot could be stress. I hope that you get back on your feet soon.

Jbug

[(JD)]

(((((dragon)))) no fire breath today? awwwww. (going to look for propane lighter for you) I agree with the rest, even good stress (a wedding hehehe!!!) is still stress. See if you can lighten your load some, do what you can.. the best you can. Don't get your hopes too high, high expectations can cause wedding depression, you know? You know. TC

[LadyDragus]

thank you..

I needed your words more than I can say

[LadyDragus]

I have gotten some things off my plate and getting more off on a day to day baisis.

thank you for your kind words.

they are much apperaciated.

Dragon

[LadyDragus]

I will remember I have you all on herer to talk to.

sometimes I forget my online faimly that I can talk to..

but at least I did post about it and I am talking, which is one thing I have not did in the past.. I normally just shurg things off and I can no longer do that.. My mood are staring to affect me too much not to talk to somone and I needed this outlet, and you are all here for me which means so much

[LadyDragus]

I did get a good phone call from one of my aunts today, that she is going to try to come down for my wedding and that her husband my fav uncle may be able to walk me down the isle..
I cried so hard when I heard that voice mail today, I borke down twice today over all the stress I am under..

More of my freinds are wanting to come to my wedding and I am going to let them come, because they are the only ones wanting to come..
At least I will be surrding by people who love me and care for me

[LadyDragus]

I knwo you are and that means the world to me..

you help keep me sane, andon this plane..

Your dragon awaits her next pm ..
'love to you SJ

[LadyDragus]

Thank you Janniebug..

I hope I am back to my ole self soon too, I miss me more than anything..

[LadyDragus]

If you find a big enough lighter tell me and I will fly over and breath it all in ok.

Thank you for making me laugh I needed it. .

((((((((((((Sky ))))))))))))

Your dragon