Why can't one day just be decent???

For the most part of today I have actually felt better.
Then SLAM <<<<>>>>BAM.........in the toilet it goes.
I just got an email from my Mom. Thought @ the end she was saying she loves me and Mare (my wife). And I was like, finally she is coming around and it is all going to be okay.
But, I misunderstood who she was talking about..she meant me and my sister.
And, it just affirms that she is never going to accept me.
I could be a millionaire, find the cure to depression/cancer,you name it...even end world hunger and to my Mom I am still just going to be a lousy, no good dyke who is going straight to hell.

I tried so hard to end today on a positive note...dammit!

I relate, this fuzzy one has not been accepted by parents

Bearhugs
bsb

That's a real bummer, SJ. It's one thing if it's a bunch of strangers or aquaintances but when it's your family. I hope she does come around, eventually.
((((((Hugs))))))

I can relate to what you are saying. I am the "black sheep" of my family also. I know how hard it gets. I'm so sorry to see someone else have to go through it too. If you ever need to talk to someone you can PM me, ok? Take care, and I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.
(((((sj0401))))) ... if hugs are ok with you.

Susu remember you have Mare and Us, we Love ya no matter what
Angie

SJ...I can identify with you..for I was never accepted by my parents. I had severe learning difficulties. My teachers could not get my parents' attention. I was a moral failure, stupid, dumb...and lazy as I recall them describing me. I couldn't even talk right. (word pronunciation).

Parents need to love their children unconditionally. That's it.

Sorry your day was spoiled. Perhaps tomorrow will be a better one for ya'!!

((((((((((((((((((((Susan)))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((((((((Mare))))))))))))))))))

I am sorry your feeling rejected and upset by this.

Huggles and love to you and Mare.

Hi sj,

By coincidence I have just posted a similar thread in relationships.

I guess we just keep sucking on a stone when we feel this stuff, and it never changes, because the people who hurt us never change. IMHO we have to stop wanting the impossible and start taking note of those people who can actually see us.

Maybe it's like working for a bad boss, you can give all you like but you won't be appreciated by a bad boss. The sensible thing is to go find a good boss to work for!

You have my empathy, M

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Maybe it's like working for a bad boss, you can give all you like but you won't be appreciated by a bad boss. The sensible thing is to go find a good boss to work for!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I'm always amazed by the helpful and insightful things you say. Your posts and replies are always valuable to me.

(((((sj))))))) IMO your mom still loves you... but moms always want the best for their child ..and that "best" is always from their own perspective! TC They can't help it. sigh.

(((((((((((sj))))))))))) I hope you got my reply about your mom which I sent by pm. xoxoxo Susan Jane.

I wish I could say that was true _Sky.
Not my Mom. Sorry. She doesn't love me...not unconditionally anyway.
I am 36...time to realize the child she has is dead! And she killed the little girl.
Now, It is me left to deal with the mess.

Sorry ((((sj))))) Ok.. let's revisit your subject line.... I've been at this point lots.. and often... and ... my problem is, I can't seem to find an answer to WHAT would make it a decent day??? Can you? What needs to happen (or not) for you to be able to appreciate the day, or life, in general? I sending good wishes for you... I know I usually set my expectations way too high. My T says it's because I haven't accepted my disability---yet! I am frustrated in this, as it's been 18 1/2 years.. what am I doing (or doing wrong??) I'm going to try thinking about this again, what would make one of MY days "decent." (Having been in a very long pain flare.... I'm tempted to say a day without high pain, but that isn't "fair" to me... maybe I will not find a decent day, as I don't know how to look for it.)

no, maybe not unconditional love from a mom... like I said, in their own way...

Sky,
I will really put some thought into "WHAT would make it a decent day?"
Perhaps in the answer is where true healing lies.

Susan, you said you "thought" your Mom meant one thing - but she actually meant she loves you and your sister. I agree with others, she loves you, but she certainly doesn't love unconditionally. For that, I am truly sorry. I honestly believe there comes a time, when as adults, we have not been unconditionally accepted by our parents, we have to "let it go" - because your Mom is probably not going to change her tunnel vision. I am sure it is her LOSS ! Perhaps accepting she will not change will aid you allow her to love you in whatever way she can........and not allow yourself to be hurt by her not accepting your lifestyle.

Myzen makes excellent posts and responses ! I think what he said makes so much sense, and perhaps something you will really benefit from having read !

You know I wish you everything you want and need. I still see growth in you, even when its a bad day !