[ShandarPaul]

I was thinking of killing myself. I have been thinking about it for a little while and really don't know what is the best way to go about doing it. I called two of my "best freinds" and of course they didn't pick up because one is busy with medical school and the other with work and her international boyfriend. I don't have anyone to talk to. I feel alone. I am 28 years old with no career, no friends, no apartment, and no boyfriend. I didn't think life was going to be like this at this age. I thought I would be married and have a job I like and maybe pursuing a film career. I feel like a loser. I don't have the life of a woman in the city in her 20's. I don't go out and I always worry about money.

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, ShandarPaul! Clearly, you are in significant distress. Have you considered calling a crisis line or seeking other help?

I'm glad you've posted. Please be safe and keep posting.

Some Crisis Resources

PsychCentral's Suicide and Crisis links page
Doc John's Suicide Resources short list
Metanoia
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK
Samaritans.org - UK & Republic of Ireland
Lifeline Australia 13 11 14
Suicide Prevention, Awareness, and Support
Hopeline: Kristin Brooks Hope Center
Suicide Forum

[lynn P.]

I'm so sorry you're very upset and I hope you're alright today. Looks like Rohag took care of you very well with all the helpful links. I'm going to give you some helpful advice.
1. Never make important decisions when you're in crisis - especially life changing or life ending ones.
2. Don't compare yourself/life to other people.
3. When you're having suicidal urges, remember to be patient and reach out for help from professionals.
4. Life won't always be this way - again more patience.
5. Don't try to tackle all of lifes challenges when you're upset.
6. Don't be so hard on yourself - pretend you're your own best friend...what would you do for someone in your postion?
I hope you're remember these points and reach out for help. Welcome to PC with a big warm HUG.

[lonegael]

ShanderPaul, boy, does you post sound familiar. hon, please try to remember that this period you are going through is oing to peak and recede over a period of time. For me, it peaked over aabout 24 hours, wherein if I could hold out from hurting myself inside of those 24 hours, the need to hurt myself in the way you mentioned died slowly off and my life began to emerge again. I know my cases is probably a little different than your because I am Bipolar as opposed to unipolar, but I have heard people with major depression say that it works pretty much the same way with them, too. However long it takes, you can hold out longer that Mr. Depression. Life will change for you, and you can do something about it. He is not someone who will help you see all the times that you have been able to help yourself in the past, becasue he rather likes the idea of you having the idea that you can't get away from him.

Do you have a Therapist? Do you have someone like a teacher, a counsellor or a pastor that you can talk to? I know you probably don't want to burden anyone, but in reality I think you will find that people will be glad to help you if they knew how badly you feel right now. Try to find a person who would be trained in how to deal with depression. These folks can either help you get in touch with a psychiatrist for medication and/or help you with talk therapy to help you manage these overwhelming feelings. You don't have to live like this, and there are other ways of getting away from them than killing yourself, better, less final ways. Some day, the darkness will start to lift, and you will need some help to be there when it does. Please, strat looking for help and keep posting, OK? I for one want to know how it goes for you! HUGGGGGGSSSSSSSSS.

[MythicalOne]

ShandarPaul, I was not that different from you at 28; I just did not have all the stuff going on in my life that I was 'supposed to' by then. I think I was a late bloomer and just did not know whre to fit. I actually just started my college years when I was 28, went on to complete a graduate degree. Finally met Mr.Right when I was 42 and now am happily married. Anyway I know this might not relate to you at all. But at least I can tell you that not everyone fits the same mold. I am still struggling with depression, too, I think it's a lifelong journey for me but I do have some good things in my life now that I did not have at 28.

I hope you can find your very own unique mold and your own peace.