[blah]

Hello,

i`m 22 now and never been to a shrink although i know i have somekind of a disorder ..i did a lot of reading on the internet about the subject but i cant determine the exact disorder since they almost have the same symptoms..i posted it in the depression section coz i wasnt sure where to post.

anyway..i decided to seek help because it just got so big and annoying...so my symptoms are:i can never speak in public,when i`m in class i could never ask a question ,i could never look to a person in the eyes,i cant have a "normal" conversation (casual chit chat) yet i can discuss almost any topic,i hate being arround people, i dont know how to work nor study with other ppl i prefer to do things on my own alone,it kills me to do something new or unfamiliar,i always have this feeling that people are watching me and judging me,my spoken language is not entirely understood (its like i only say half of the word), very hard for me to make friends,...

there`s more but i cant think now :P
anyway i think those are enough and if they aint ask..
Thx.

[kvinneakt]

We can do a lot here, but we cannot offer a diagnosis.

For this you need to visit a professional therapist. Even then it can take years to get it "right", if there is such a thing.

What we are good at is listening and chatting and bouncing ideas around. That can be very helpful.

<font color=blue>[b] Wherever you go, there you are[b]<font color=blue>

[Rapunzel]

I'm not qualified to diagnose anyone, but those symptoms sound familiar to me. Take a look at this and see what you think about it?

<A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.socialphobia.org/>http://www.socialphobia.org/</A>

When problems like you describe bother you and interfere with your ability to function in life, you really should see a professional about it. It is scary when you haven't done it before, but it really is not so bad and it will help you.

Good luck!

<font color=red>"Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing." -Harriet Braiker</font color=red>

[Willow]

I also have a lot of anxiety about people and interacting with people. Sometimes it's okay if it's only a couple people who I know and trust. More than that and I have panics. I am on some medication that helps some. I think going to a psych doc is a good idea.

Yeah, social anxiety fits me even better than the shrink's diag of avoidant personality disorder, but looks like I have both, and to think I used to have a customer service job- pizza delivery... phones, face to face, problem resolution, deliveries.
I also play the organ, and did postlude music in a local church for a year so I could access their big organ, but I would start getting the jitters pretty quick so I wound up keeping to real short pieces out of the hymnal. Having 150 people staring at the back of my head though was very nerve wracking and when I made an error things always went downhill rapidly. The last time I did thepostlude was when I has some errors and really messed up the last few bars of music and found the right last chord, shut off the blower and spun around on the bench to take my shoes off and instead of everyone being GONE as is typical for the postlude, everyone was still sitting there!
Turned out they were going to have a meeting right after the service right there.

Triggering Symptoms: People with social anxiety usually experience significant distress in the following situations:

1-Being introduced to other people
HATE this!

2-Being teased or criticized
Ditto!

3-Being the center of attention
Ditto!

4-Being watched or observed while doing something
Even worse

5-Having to say something in a formal, public situation
Ditto

6-Meeting people in authority ("important people/authority figures")
Ditto

7-Feeling insecure and out of place in social situations ("I don’t know what to say.")

Ditto

8-Meeting other peoples’ eyes
Never do

9-Swallowing, writing, talking, making phone calls if in public
Yes!

Panic etc., yep, made a mistake at work a few weeks back, foreman passed by with a friendly normal "How's it going?" as I carried the project I THOUGHT was finished, back to my work area and he followed since I couldn't think of adamn thing to say other than "oh just FINE, except forhaving to fix a few problems" and things rapidly deteriorated at my end slowly till I got to my bench and slammed the thing down on top of it and had to explain what was wrong.

I started to describe the problem but things built up to anger and frustration so rapidly I actually told him "I can't do these any more, and I had to get out of here" and I walked out, got in my car and took off leaving rubber on the pavement and went home, broke a few things and then called the secretary and told her I was taking the rest of the day off using my vacation time.

I was real worked up and figured I was out of the job for sure and was ready to
just think about checking out permanently.
Next day I went in 1/2 hour before the foreman's usual time and started fixing the problems on the project. He arrived 15 minutes late, didn't say much but what he did say indicated I still had a job, so we went into his office for a talk.

Things worked out ok, not a peep from the higher ups and no one has brought the incident up.

[Rapunzel]

Randall,

Glad you still have your job. I have social anxiety too. Most of the time that isn't my main issue, but there are times when it really makes me uncomfortable or even gets me into trouble. The worst was last December, just a couple of days before Christmas, and my husband insisted that I go to Walmart for him to get a present for his boss. The store was so crowded I couldn't get through the aisles, and I can't stand to be in anybody's way, but was constantly bumping into people, not having room to get out of an aisle so someone could get through, etc., to say nothing of trying to get to the things I needed - if someone was blocking the aisle I needed, I had to either go away and come back later, or try to find a place where I could wait without being in anyone's way. It was awful. I finally got out of there, anxiety level at maximum, and another truck had parked next to mine, leaving like 6 inches of space. Someone was sitting in the truck. I got in my truck, started it up - the only way to get out of the parking spot was to go straight forward (I had pulled all the way through when I parked so I wouldn't have to back up), and a car came and stopped, right where I needed to go, and I didn't have room to turn the other direction. They just sat there staring at me, waiting for my parking spot. I had to try to get out of the way and get out of there, so I tried to maneuver around so that I could go right instead of left, but hit the car behind me, only my anxiety level was so high that I didn't know it. So I went home, and had a visit from the police, citation for hit and run, mandatory court appearance. The next two months were an example of what happens when social anxiety and depression bounce off each other, setting each other off. Not pretty. It was, literally, more than I could deal with.

I'm a musician too. I'm fine in a choir or performing with a group, but put the spotlight on me and I panic and screw up.

So anyway, know that you are not alone. There are really good treatment options for social anxiety - you will find a lot of information at that website, but you'll get the most help if you talk to a therapist about it. Good luck to you!

<font color=red>"Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing." -Harriet Braiker</font color=red>

Thanks Rapunzel, I have pretty much the same issues with going to crowded stores like Wal-mart.

The worst is going to a store and having a waitperson come every 2 minutes or lurking around the aisle trying to look busy with something but I can tell they are just BS'ing, then asking if I need help... NO I don't, if I do I'll ask!
Same thing in restaurants with the waitperson coming every 5 minutes to check the water and ask if everything is ok.
Therapy isn't much of an option around here, nearest place is 40 miles away and the fee is $189 per visit and not much of any kind of sliding fee.

[Rapunzel]

One thing I have seen for social anxiety is a treatment group that meets for maybe a couple of weeks. They have them in various locations around the world. It's not like an inpatient program or anything like that - more like just a conference or seminar with a small group of social anxiety sufferers where they work on social skills and being more comfortable socially. Would something like that be an option for you? They also have an e-mail support group, and a therapy program you do yourself at home with readings and audio tapes. I'll see if I can find it again.

<font color=red>"Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing." -Harriet Braiker</font color=red>