[MissMay1977]

My therapist suggested that I try to improve the moment by finding some things to do that bring me pleasure. I am not very creative so I am having a hard time coming up with some ideas. So what do you guys do to make yourself feel better?

[Yoda]

When I was depressed I tried to do something pleasurable for at least fifteen minutes per day.

Things I would do included: manicure/pedicure, listening to music, read poetry, spend time with my horse, look at my model horses, look at photo albums, go for a walk, treat myself to a latte or iced coffee, et cetera.

[Rapunzel]

There are some DBT handouts with lists of ideas for Improving the Moment. The information is here: http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/improve.html

The key is to find some things that you enjoy, and do more of those things. It can help to try some new things, as well as to do things you have enjoyed before. And while you are doing these enjoyable activities, be mindful of those activities, what you are doing in the moment. Don't let other concerns ruin that moment for you.

It could be as simple as having a cup of hot chocolate, with whipped cream if you like, to going on a vacation (either actual, or imagined.)

[learning1]

How do you balance finding time for pleasure with other obligations? If you're worried about work and school things that need to be done, how do you decide when it's better to do them first?

[Rapunzel]

You do have to balance them. Balance means including pleasurable activities. You won't be as effective at the work and school things if you aren't allowing time for yourself too. Obviously, if you avoid the work and school things entirely, that will create bigger problems. Balance is the key. Maybe you can do one thing for 15 minutes, and give yourself a 15 minute break, and alternate like that. Plan out what you need to do. You have to balance your priorities/demands, your wants/shoulds, etc. Out of balance either way is out of balance.

[lastyearisblank]

I don't know if attachment are allowed but if you google "pleasurable activities" (lol).. the first thing that comes up is a really good list....just for starters.

[MissMay1977]

Well thanks to the economy, I am unemployed so I have been trying to find more things that I enjoy doing at home. Since I am not working, I have lost my structure and lost the sense of mastery I use to feel which is making me more vulnerable to negative emotions.
I did google pleasurable activites and found some things I am going to try.

[Perna]

You don't have to be very creative, just have to look inside yourself to see what you might want and then go toward that.

A small game I sometimes play when I'm at the grocery store is to ask myself, if I could have anything at all in this store for myself, what would I choose? One item/"the" item. I wander and find "it". It can be small and "common" like a juicy orange or complicated like something from the imported/international aisle. It doesn't even have to be food; maybe you wish you had a certain kitchen utensil but haven't bought it because you don't "need" it. Maybe you wish you had a new pen, or a dozen pens so you weren't always looking for one. Buy an expensive fruit or vegetable you have always wondered about but were afraid to buy. If you don't know how to fix/cook it, find instructions or a recipe online.

I was alone one summer afternoon at the zoo and lonely and sad and stopped and made myself "wish" for something and it turned out to be an ice cream cone. Where (and "when") I was didn't have any ice cream shops nearby so I ended up going to the grocery store and I had to buy ice cream, cones, and a scoop! I went home and made myself an ice cream cone and all this took a couple hours and by the time I had finished, I was feeling better; probably because I had wished for something and then, by my own effort, gotten it.

[Elana05]

Originally Posted by MissMay1977

My therapist suggested that I try to improve the moment by finding some things to do that bring me pleasure. I am not very creative so I am having a hard time coming up with some ideas. So what do you guys do to make yourself feel better?

Hi MissMay,

This has been an important one for me as I went through a time period where I was super anxious along with the depression. The things actually bring me peace are pretty tacky when I think of them but its what works for me. What can I say?
- Bookstores. I like to wander around them. If I find a book that looks good I take it out of the library...
- Florists. I feel a connection with flowers and plants. They bring me peace and joy.
- Likewise, greenhouses or botanic gardens.
- Walking around the mall. I like to be amidst people, but not necessarily interacting with them. I like to sit with a tea or coffee and people-watch.
- This is a good place to write in a journal.
- Malls with open airy spaces are the best because I have SAD. Areas that are heated but let in a lot of daylight/sunlight are really helpful for me.
- Walking on a treadmill is ok, and actually helps me feel better but I usually don't want to do it. I have to wait until afterwards to feel the effect.
- Reading about other people who have suffered from depression but persevered. I have been helped by looking at some books such as Noonday Demon by Andrew Solomon.
- The library
- Spending time on pc.
- Buying the occasional nice card to send to someone. It feels good to me to send a brief written note in this day of electronic communication.

[learning1]

Originally Posted by Rapunzel

You do have to balance them. Balance means including pleasurable activities. You won't be as effective at the work and school things if you aren't allowing time for yourself too. Obviously, if you avoid the work and school things entirely, that will create bigger problems. Balance is the key. Maybe you can do one thing for 15 minutes, and give yourself a 15 minute break, and alternate like that. Plan out what you need to do. You have to balance your priorities/demands, your wants/shoulds, etc. Out of balance either way is out of balance.

Thanks Rapunzel. Well, I was also thinking of times when I'm not planning ahead, just moment to moment deciding... like on the weekends, I have time that's not committed to immediate demands, but it's hard to really relax and enjoy fun stuff when there's always a list of chores and coursework to get done. (That doesn't stop me from spending plenty of time procrastinating though! ) Sometimes I do try to plan ahead but there's always more to do than there's actually time or that I have energy to do.

I'm sorry if I'm getting off the topic of this thread... if anyone prefers me to make a different thread, I will.

[lavieenrose]

The longer I've been on SSDI and not working, the worse I've become at structuring my time meaningfully, and allowing myself pleasurable activities. I've become very restless and unfocused. I also have a pattern of thinking of 3 or 4 different uses for the same time block, and then getting confused and indecisive. I have to coax myself back to the pleasures I once enjoyed, mainly creative activities. Maybe setting a timer, telling myself that I'll sew or draw for 15 minutes. I've often then wanted to continue the activity longer, finding myself immersed. Sorry if this is a tangent. Seems sort of related.

[learning1]

Originally Posted by lavieenrose

The longer I've been on SSDI and not working, the worse I've become at structuring my time meaningfully, and allowing myself pleasurable activities. I've become very restless and unfocused. I also have a pattern of thinking of 3 or 4 different uses for the same time block, and then getting confused and indecisive. I have to coax myself back to the pleasures I once enjoyed, mainly creative activities. Maybe setting a timer, telling myself that I'll sew or draw for 15 minutes. I've often then wanted to continue the activity longer, finding myself immersed. Sorry if this is a tangent. Seems sort of related.

Yeah, that sounds similar to me, lavieenrose.

Making an effort to increase pleasurable activities sounds to me like as if you don't have any obligations always hanging over you, and you're just free to do what ever you want for significant amounts of time. But it seems like most people actually have a lot of obligations most of the time.

I think I probably do spend plenty of time doing things I kind of feel like doing (like posting here) it's just that I feel like I shouldn't be doing it. It usually just feels like a way of procrastinating to put off other stuff.

So I wonder how you get that feeling that you can be free to do what you want to do sometimes. When I'm already in a happier mood than usual, I do feel free to do what I want and I feel motivated to do the things I usually put off.

But when I'm not already in a happier mood, if I plan to "do what I want" for 15 minutes, it will feel like that's an obligation I have to struggle to fit onto my to do list too. hehe.

I think I just got motivated to actually want to do my taxes.