[whenwillitend]

first my son disappeared after school today (i ended up finding him at his friend's house an hour later), but we also got the foreclosure papers today. i'm beyond upset now. i can't handlet his. i have no way to contact m yhusband. i have to deal with allt his all on my own. i'm hainvg a major breakdown here. righ tnow, it's all too much and i jsut want to die. i can't handle this.

[whenwillitend]

why is it that when things start going better, and i actually feel okay, something bad happesn? it never fails. i'm not meant to be happy i guess. life is just too hard.

[Rohag]

((((((( Whenwillitend! )))))))

Do only what is necessary for this moment, then stop doing. Breathe.

[whenwillitend]

i can't breathe. i'm feeling sick to my stomach. i can't stop crying. this is just way too much for me to handle.

[Rohag]

Crying is OK. Nausea is nasty. The important question is - are you safe?

[whenwillitend]

i don't know. not really i guess. i don't know.

[whenwillitend]

i really really need someone tot alk to me righ tnow

[whenwillitend]

why am i being ignored when i need support the most? doens't anyone care?

[BNLsMOM]

I am sorry you are feeling bad. Do you have a therapist or a good friend you can call to vent all this out?

You aren't alone. Sh** happens all the time. My husband is having a crappy time lately, his car died and will cost $6000 to fix, and a bunch of stressful things are going on for him at work, which in turn stresses me out which makes my symptoms flare up a little and then he has to worry about me.

Anyway, I don't know you but I bet you are strong enough to get through this. Keep posting.

[whenwillitend]

i do have a therapist, i just saw her this morning, when everything was fine. i'm seeing my pdoc in the morning.

[SpiritRunner]

I do care and I'm so sorry you've had all this pile on you; it's hard when several big things happen at once! I am glad you will be seeing your pdoc in the morning......so hold on, one breath at a time, and it will soon be morning.
And if you need to, can you call your T and let her know things happened and it's been hard for you?

[whenwillitend]

i can call her, but it's incredibly hard for me.

[FFABD]

Just breathe. It is the only thing you can be sure to have full control over right in this moment. Just breathe, deeply. It isn't going to make all the external stuff go away, but it will help you inside.

Lots of people here have been in this place, and we all love you.

[BNLsMOM]

Even when everything seems fine it is valuable for you to share what you had been feeling earlier. Especially with those of us who have frequent mood changes, it helps our treatment team figure out what is going on with us and then they can help us better.

ETA: My timing is off. i didn't realize that you posted originally this evening... still, if you wake up tomorrow feeling fine, still tell your p-doc everything.

[whenwillitend]

made it through the night. still not feeling good. emailed husband yesterday to call me so i caould talk to him about it, but he hasn't called me. i have no other way to get hold of him.

[Rohag]

Whenwillitend, your husband might be able to contact an Army Retired Services Office near you. They might at least be able to inform him of how to get practical help, not only concerning the financial issues but also for you.

[whenwillitend]

still haven't talked to my husband.wish i could talk to him.

[Rohag]

Current local time in Kabul, Afghanistan

[whenwillitend]

i dont' have a phone number for him, or an address, nothing. all i can do is email him and hope that he eventually gets it and calls me.

[whenwillitend]

just called the peole who are supposed to be ablet o give us a30 day extention before selling out house, and noone's there, they're all out of the office until friday. 'im going nuts here. i want to fix this, and i can't.

[pgrundy]

Hi,

First, I am so sorry you are going through this.

Second, although I know I'm late to this thread, I wonder if you could call an attorney? Most will talk to you at no charge for the first visit, and foreclosures on military families while the soldier is overseas on active duty are illegal and have been all over the news lately. Here's a clip about it:

http://finance.yahoo.com/loans/artic...mod=loans-home

Also, do you have a 411 number in your area? Unlike 911, it connects you to social services, suicide prevention hotlines, all kinds of people who can help.

Just a few ideas. I know you can't fix it right this minute and maybe not at all, but those things might get you some adult and community support, which it sounds like you really need ASAP.

Hang in there.

[whenwillitend]

my husband is not active duty anymore, he's retired. he's in afghanistan as a civilian contractor. i don't know if we can still use the army lawyers, something else for me to look into.

just found out that we don't have dental insurance anymore now, because my hsubadn is retired and our old insurance company doesn't cover retirees. my son has a check up appt next week. can't do it. have to cancel.

it's one thing after anohter. i'm mentally comptletely exhausted.

[pgrundy]

I'm so sorry! It might still be worth a call to an attorney. Sometimes you can contest this stuff. HUD is another option. They have to help you for free.

I've been where you are though--totally overwhelmed. So I know how frustrating it can be when people say 'try this, try that' and you feel completely tapped out.

I hope you will call someone though. It helps to at least have someone listen, even if no solutions are obvious. I lost my home to foreclosure and went bankrupt in 2009. It came out OK in the end, but I landed in the hospital in January over all the stress. Had a major depressive episode and a reaction to a med. So I can at least empathize. It really IS hard.

Just take care of you as best you can. That has to come first.

When it rains it pours it seems sometimes. I don't understand it either - but I have found that if you try not to fight what is happening and just go with the flow the best you can the anxiety is not as excruciating.

Going with the flow may sound so cliché - but if you can muster it and or stomach the process, try it you may be suprised...

I am learning that much of our suffering comes from not surrendering to our circumstances - let go of trying to control what is happening - and this is the hardest thing of all sweetie - try to trust that no matter what happens you are going to be taken care of...

I have no idea where you stand in your religious world, I clam no piety or any religious preference at this point in my life - I just know that there is a force that is bigger than anything that we can imagine - I call him God and he will provide everything that you need in the moment.

So that's what you need to do....Live in the moment - take your life moment by moment right now...break it down as small as you can, and then trust that your needs will be taken care of in each and every one of those moments.

Love and Peace

J

[whenwillitend]

righ tnow i don' treally have any faith.it's hard to believe someone's watching out for you when bad things happen to you.

i feel like my pdoc of many yearsg ave up on me. i saw her this morning, and she seemed so distant. and i asked her about an alternative to the ativan that made me so drugged up, adn she just sais there is nothing and that i'm going to have to deal with everything behaviorally. also, usually when things are this bad, she has me come in the following week, and call her to let her know im okay. she gave me an appt in a month. it just seemed liek she just didn't care anymore.

still feel sick to my stomach. forced myself to eat some lunch, that wast hree hours ago, and i still feel like throwing up.

i'm so tired. couldn't sleep last night. now i'm just really really tired.