I just want to vent out my feelings. Yesterday my laptop's internet wasn't working and then I got upset. My mum was in my room and my bit myself in front of her because I just felt angry. It was a stupid thing to do. After that she mentioned about my cuts. She said my cuts look disgusting. She said she won't help me because I cut myself. I need to sort my head out. She called me a weirdo and a cow. I feel sad and I feel like crying now but it's my fault. I am a weirdo. I'm sick in the head. My mum also told me to look at my cuts. I'm such a stupid weirdo..... :'( Oh great... I'm crying right now. After that happened, My sister was in the room too and she hugged me and tried to comfort me. But I just keep getting suicidal thoughts after. Everything is my fault. I'm a waste. I spoke to a person about it and he was helpful. But I don't need help and I'm fine. I don't need a doctor or a mental health professional to help me. My mother says I'm fine.

[A2FMUrs]

((((Happy)))).....well it don't seem like your fine...seems like your needing some feelings of control..internal control.
Sorry that your mom feels the way she does...have you ever gotten professional help. Please consider it...don't think she understands that "cutting" is not the cause, its the effect...
Hope laptop is back...hope you know I/we care here...hope you hugged your sister back!

[Sunna]

Dear happycheeks HUGS!

You seem like a sweet girl and you mom is acting harsh and cruel. Unfortunately you are programmed to listen more to her than to us, even if you don't want to. If you have a therapist she may help you override the "mommy voice". I am not saying your mom means to hurt you, she is probably doing what she think is best, but what she's doing to you is bad.

I have never cut myself, but I understand the impulse when anger and frustration well up and there is no valid way to express them, hurting self seems the only way to interrupt the charge. The pain stops the anger, and turns you toward nurturing yourself. Or at least "usually" it does turn like that. Does not mean that this is you.

It seems to me your cutting, may be partly a response to your mom's judgments. You just shown us how she is trying to SHAME you, rather than have compassion, and try to understand why possibly her daughter may be doing something so horrible to herself. It can create a vicious circle. She shames you, you react the only way that seems to bring relief, but that only brings more shaming. Please do not hate yourself for this.

This is a version of a mental exercise I had found helpful for myself:

(Imagine yourself years older, working as a child psychologist and someone hauls in a crying little you, however old you were when you just started cutting herself, or maybe some other form of self hurting. You look at her and your heart goes out to her, and you wonder why this beautiful innocent child feels so awful about herself, and how to help her. Let yourself sit with those feelings, just watching the young you through the eyes of the adult you. Love her.)

[Leed]

Bless your little heart ~ All I want to do right now is hug you. So here is a ((((hug)))). Your Mom is awfully hard on you ~ if my child was hurting as much as your are, I certainly wouldn't be adding more hurt to her. I've NEVER called my daughter or son any names. That's just not acceptable. I don't mean to be harsh towards your Mother, but it seems she doesn't understand how serious this is.

Sweetie, I don't know if you can convince her that you need to see a therapist or not ~ perhaps you can talk to your counselor at school. They are trained in this type of behavior too - and it's a start. If you talk to the counselor, perhaps he/she can arrange for a therapist for you. You really do need someone to talk to.

We do care about you honey, and want what is best for you. Please try not to harm yourself anymore, okay? Talk to the counselor -- and let us know how it goes. I'll be looking for your update. God bless you. Hugs, Lee

[QUOTE=Leed;1724891]Bless your little heart ~ All I want to do right now is hug you. So here is a ((((hug)))). Your Mom is awfully hard on you ~ if my child was hurting as much as your are, I certainly wouldn't be adding more hurt to her. I've NEVER called my daughter or son any names. That's just not acceptable. I don't mean to be harsh towards your Mother, but it seems she doesn't understand how serious this is.

Sweetie, I don't know if you can convince her that you need to see a therapist or not ~ perhaps you can talk to your counselor at school. They are trained in this type of behavior too - and it's a start. If you talk to the counselor, perhaps he/she can arrange for a therapist for you. You really do need someone to talk to.

We do care about you honey, and want what is best for you. Please try not to harm yourself anymore, okay? Talk to the counselor -- and let us know how it goes. I'll be looking for your update. God bless you. Hugs, Lee

[/QUOTE

Thanks for your concern and reply. How can I get a counsellor?

[Leed]

Don't they have counselors at your school??? I'd suggest you talk to one there first. I would think that ALL schools have student counselors -- they are the ones who intervene when there is trouble. Every school I've seen has had one.

I sure hope your school has a counselor. If they don't, then I guess you would have to ask your mother to PLEASE arrange for therapy for you. There is no other way around it. I would HOPE that she would understand that you're not kidding -- and you need someone to talk to. Make sure you tell her how serious this is -- and that it's not just a "teenage" thing. Tell her how desperate you feel.

Gosh, I wish there was more I could help you with. Please keep us posted, ok?? God bless. Hugs, Lee

Originally Posted by Leed

Don't they have counselors at your school??? I'd suggest you talk to one there first. I would think that ALL schools have student counselors -- they are the ones who intervene when there is trouble. Every school I've seen has had one.

I sure hope your school has a counselor. If they don't, then I guess you would have to ask your mother to PLEASE arrange for therapy for you. There is no other way around it. I would HOPE that she would understand that you're not kidding -- and you need someone to talk to. Make sure you tell her how serious this is -- and that it's not just a "teenage" thing. Tell her how desperate you feel.

Gosh, I wish there was more I could help you with. Please keep us posted, ok?? God bless. Hugs, Lee

Yeah there is a counsellor at my college

[online user]

If your school doesn't have a counselor, ask a teacher--the one you feel the best about. Ask who can help you and I'm sure they will find someone in your community responsible for counseling school kids who will help you. They may talk to your mom for you and tell her this is not fine, but a sign you need someone to talk to about what is bothering you. Good luck to you!

[Miss Laura]

You can also go through your GP to get a counsellor... Well you can in Scotland. Also there are Organisations that run free counselling sessions for a short period of time. Worth checking out with your Local Council

Originally Posted by online user

If your school doesn't have a counselor, ask a teacher--the one you feel the best about. Ask who can help you and I'm sure they will find someone in your community responsible for counseling school kids who will help you. They may talk to your mom for you and tell her this is not fine, but a sign you need someone to talk to about what is bothering you. Good luck to you!

The college I go to does have a counsellors. I'm a little scared and worried of telling someone. I think I'm an attention seeker. My mum might get mad at me if I tell someone.

Originally Posted by Miss Laura

You can also go through your GP to get a counsellor... Well you can in Scotland. Also there are Organisations that run free counselling sessions for a short period of time. Worth checking out with your Local Council

Thanks

[online user]

Great, Happy Cheeks! They will probably talk to you without telling mom. I don't think you are an attention-seeker. You are depressed and feeling bad and need attention for that. Quite a difference from someone who just wants everyone to revolve around them and flatter them with attention. You came here, where you can be anonymous; get help from others who have been in similar situations and can sympathize with you. See the difference? You are OK. Hugs!

[greylove]

Extra hugs for you happycheeks........to go with this good advice......you know I care.

Originally Posted by greylove

Extra hugs for you happycheeks........to go with this good advice......you know I care.

Thank you

Originally Posted by online user

Great, Happy Cheeks! They will probably talk to you without telling mom. I don't think you are an attention-seeker. You are depressed and feeling bad and need attention for that. Quite a difference from someone who just wants everyone to revolve around them and flatter them with attention. You came here, where you can be anonymous; get help from others who have been in similar situations and can sympathize with you. See the difference? You are OK. Hugs!

I understand what you're trying to say Thank you

[unr3achable1tch]

i'm so sorry for what you're going through. Your mother never should have talked to you like that. If anything, she should be there for you and be by your side instead of pushing you away for things you couldn't help BUT do. I completely understand when nothing quite does it like inflicting physical pain to drown out the internal conflict and void. Perhaps if she had been more supportive, you wouldn't have had to resort to that kind of thing. I'd consider telling her that! Hm!

Originally Posted by unr3achable1tch

i'm so sorry for what you're going through. Your mother never should have talked to you like that. If anything, she should be there for you and be by your side instead of pushing you away for things you couldn't help BUT do. I completely understand when nothing quite does it like inflicting physical pain to drown out the internal conflict and void. Perhaps if she had been more supportive, you wouldn't have had to resort to that kind of thing. I'd consider telling her that! Hm!

I agree with what you said. I don't think I'll be able to get help because of my mum.