[ArtieGallow]

Sometimes it seems as if no one believes I am really trying. I am calling out for help and yet, I pushing them all away at the same time. I don't know why I am doing that and I really hate it. I want to get better and I don't want to push the ones I love away from me but I don't know how else to do this but by getting help. Though, I am not sure how I will do that.. I am a bit overly scarred and it really sucks. I don't know how it got this bad. I am pushing the one I love most far away from me. I don't mean to though ! I really don't. I just... I don't want to lose the one I love because of this. She is the one good thing in my life and I am ruining it.

[FeelingHopeful]

Thanks Artie for writing this as someone who is sorta dealing with something similar i can relate i believe you are trying so many times its hard for people to see how much people are struggling and it helps me as someonw who was pushed away though not intentionally to understand what you go through please keep going your loved one will be there for you i love someone too and even if he pushes me away im still gonna be here for him always!

[FeelingHopeful]

I know your loved one your girl will be there for you too!

[DAICY]

I know what you are going through,as I am doing the same, though, I don't feel then the same emotions as you do. I am inappropriately apathtic towards such situation, despite how much my love ones get hurt.
You want to reach out, it's is hard, i know, and I am envious of you that you even consider their feelings out of love. Sit by yourself and think about why you push them away, why you are scared, how will your love ones react, and what will be the concenquences. There will always be concnquences in life, be it big or little, but at some point we have to face the god horrible music. It will be painful, I am not going to lie, but you are willing to go through a bit more pain to make them udnerstand, right? You have to stay strong girl, I know you can do it.

-DAICY

[Leed]

Hi ~ I think sometimes we push people away because we don't want to hurt them. For some reason we think that our "condition" is going to in some way damage them -- or by our being depressed, it's going to make them so concerned for us that they will be too worried and it will hurt. Does that make sense?

There were some things in my past that I didn't even tell my late husband because i didn't want him to pity me or feel sorry for me, or have him feel the hurt that I felt. So I just didn't tell him. That probably was NOT the right way to handle it -- but i was trying to "protect" him -- and he didn't need protecting.

Perhaps you're doing the same with your girl?? Believe me, she doesn't need protecting either. If you two are going to have an open & honest relationship, share your hurts with her. don't shut her out. That's the WORST thing you can do.

I wish you the very best. Take care of YOU -- and your girl. Hugs, Lee

[charlie13]

Very well said I agree with everything u wrote good to hear that someone out there feels the same way i do Thnk u