[DAICY]

When i finally thought my mother would be there to support me and help me get better. She lied. We've been getting in arguements eversince i visited Ugent Care. She keeps denying that there was nothing wrong with me and how i was acting like a drug addict. She was the one who insisted that i was depressed and took me to see a doctor to get anti-depressants. I just asked her when we need to pick the meds up, because it was on high alert, only once i asked her. From that she thinks i am acting like a drug addict. Anything that revolves around me and anti-depressants makes her explode in rage and scream something along the lines of: "You're just being lazy!I jumped back up from when i was 'depressed'" Or "Your ******* 17, get your head straight! It's not like your getting straight A's! Why the hell are you stressed or depressed for?!"
And just a week ago, she was hugging me and telling me it'll be alright and she understands. She's a nurse--A NURSE; she should know why the hell i act this way and what i need. My mother apparently thinks that I am a perfectly normal and not "pyscho" like everyone else who have depression, and i am not capable of getting any mental diseases because she herself is normal(I'm starting to question that).
I probably sound like a kid, but resent her. One might say that she is reacting this way because she loves me, but the things she say makes me doubt it. She is being very insensitive towards me, and i know people say things they don't mean when they are angry, but people do have self controlled, which she severly lacks. She once screamed at me, asking why i hadn't commited suicide yet, if i was think about it.
I mean really, is that something you say to a depressed person? My suicidal thoughts resided when she told me that everything will be ok, last week, but when she said that, it came back stronger....
My father is the only one who seems to be considerate towards my feelings and understand why i feel this way. But it seems like the constant screaming from my mother is canceling out his support.
I don't know what to do.
I hate this.
I hate my life.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by DAICY

She's a nurse--A NURSE...

That exclamation pops right out of my head, too.

DAICY, based on your posts, I strongly suspect you may have to look to your own health and safety without support from your mother. Her personal issues, whatever they are, unsuit her as an ally in your struggle for stability. For your own peace of mind, turn to others for help.

I'm so sorry.

[Elysium]

Daicy....

I agree with Rohag. I have a Mother who is similar to what you described. For the longest time I only existed to make her happy, make her better, but one minute she is loving and the next everything is my fault and she's just fine.

You need to seek your own way out and seek out people who can/will support you in a healthy way. You don't need to be invalidated in this way.

I'm always here if you need/want to talk. Stick around PC. There are a lot of great folks here and it's a really good form of support, but don't forget to seek support from other friends and family as well.....the healthy ones though, which is not your Mother at this point in time.

[Sunna]

DAICY, so sorry that your mother is no help, or worse, contributing to your state, since you so clearly need her love, support and undestanding. I can only imagine how it feels for you. So sorry, DAICY, hugs

I wish your mom will realize it is not about her, and the more she screams the worse she makes it. If she wants you to not take pills, find more holistic ways of dealing, which would be understandable, screaming is not the way to explore it. She may come around, yet. I hope she does, soon.

Please realize this is not your fault, it's her s**t, so don't hate your life, don't hate yourself.

My advice is, even though your mom's lack of compassion is breaking your heart, and you wish she was there for you, lean on your dad, tell him your feelings.

[eskielover]

Sadly, I agree with everyone else that has been replying to your post.

Your mother has issues that she hasn't dealt with otherwise, she wouldn't be nice one minute & attacking you the next. When we are feeling depression in the first place, being around that type of personality isn't healthy. You need to stay away from her as much as possible while she is in that kind of mood.....& definitely not depending on her for your support. Who knows, maybe that depression she says she has just recovered from.....is a depression that she HASN'T REALLY recovered from as it sounds like she has some pretty serious stuff going on inside of herself & may actually be driving your depression into being much worse.

I know my depression was bad living around my husband for so long.....when I left him, my depression has really dimished.....still have anxiety that I am dealing with, but being away from a person who was driving my depression was the best thing I ever did.

If your dad can be a good support to you, then I would look to him for your support.....but also having friends outside of the family is very very important especially since your mother is reacting the way she is.

Wishing you a peaceful life soon & the ability to keep away from any harmful personalities.

[online user]

Sounds like you are getting good advice from everyone, Daicy. My mother was also a screamer--I made my own way in life without her help, and later formed a good, although superficial relationship with her. We can tell each other, "I love you" and mean it, but we don't discuss really serious issues well. She is limited in her abilities to do so. Me, I'm quite skilled. You will be just fine, in the end, dear, if you follow the advice above and avoid issues with your mother; share them with your dad.

[DAICY]

Thank you everyone. I will try my best to get through this.