[SleepsWithButterFlies]

I am feeling very lost in a sea of total indifference.

[BlueFaith]

(((((sleeps)))))

Sorry I'm not more help...

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

I know and I appreciate it....its just that no matter where I am or go...I am nothing ...I get lost and become a huge nothing I even hate the smiles on here

[Lou_Pilder]

SWB,
You wrote,[...I am nothing...hate the smiles on here...].
I would like to offer you support from my perspective if you would like. Could you elaborate on what you mean by,[...am nothing...]?
Lou

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

I am not sure I can do this elaboration justice but I guess I would say that I am crap, nothing ...I do not really matter to anyone past the second or two they spend on me. Thats the best I can do to explain.

[Lou_Pilder]

SWB,
You wrote,[....I am (expletive)...do not... matter to {anyone}...].
Do you mean something like that if you fell into a ditch and could not get out that all the people passing you and seeing you would not help you get out? Or something else?
Lou

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

I think most people would help anyone in a ditch but ....it is possible if say someone else was in a ditch not too far from me they would get help well before me. I am easy to forget. Say you and I met Lou I have no doubt you would like me but a day later I doubt I would cross your mind again. That holds true all over the place in my life. I can be bleeding and starving and people just dont see it...and if I say something...they wish me luck while I go without food..Thats like an example I ate today..Does that help you better understand?

That's just not true. Sleeps.

[Lou_Pilder]

SWB,
You wrote,[...I am easy...you and I met Lou...you would like me...a day later I doubt I would cross your mind....].
How do you know?
Lou

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

I have seen it Petunia..others get and I don't and I can come and go and nobody cares really

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

Lou I am a student of experience and that is how I would know.

Post deleted by Petunia

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

Petunia YOU have done nothing wrong...no need for apology

It is just a matter of fact that I am crap. I see it daily how little I matter..it isnt you hon

[Lou_Pilder]

SWB,
You wrote,[...Lou, I am a student...].
But in probability, could not the next event be independent of the previous event and not dependant on what was pevious?
Lou

Sleeps, i've tried to be supportive and have taken several breaks from PC lately. i'll try harder. xoxoxo pat

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

Lou yes in theory but statistically no...So the odds are I will be squished like an ant unseen

Pat thank you but...again it is *not you* it is all over my life I just dont seem to count for very long..or unless I am of use to someone else

[Lou_Pilder]

SWB,
YOu wrote,[...the odds are..].
Could not the event be controlled by factors to influence a positive result?
Lou

[LMo]

Sleeps, I hear the hurt in your post... I'm so sorry that you feel so overlooked.

Can I say one thing though? In effort to turn it around?

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I just dont seem to count for very long..or unless I am of use to someone else

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Sleeps... well, that's really true of everybody. If you think about the people that really stand out in your life (in a positive way): why do they? Because they go out of their way to be kind? Because they are accomplishing things? There is something that "remarkable" (for lack of better word) do to deserve so much remembrance.

So, to me, that's what I have to do... make a point in my life make a difference to the people around me so that I will not be just a little ant. Do you think that's such a bad way to operate? I don't see it as a negative at all... I just think that's what we have to do.

[ZuZu]

Why do you worry about people when you are a beautiful fat gray happy cat surrounded by beautiful butterflies. Look around you.

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

Lou those factors could come into play but the odds are too small in my experience

I may go look for decent smiles

[jmo531]

(((((((((((((((((((((Sleeps))))))))))))))))))))

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

LMO I am liked by just about to everyone I meet and am a very kind and helpful person but in the grand scheme of things I have needs and wants too and I do not have anyone who DOES for me...all I get is passed by or prayed for or well wishes but these same people could be the instraument of God so to speak and maybe share a meal or help with gas or a medicine..When I had money I use to buy people meds and just GIVE and now I don't seem to get...I did not DO to get back..I posted on this in someone elses thread but jeeze it would be nice to be on the HELPED end of the stick for once at least till I could get back on my feet again..I just get hit with it. I know what you mean on people who are nice and kind being more remarkable but I have helped many in my lifetime and kind or nice was not required need was....I dont know I just dont seem to matter except when someone wants..I even was stupid enough to buy a wedding gift for some girl who FAKED her wedding...same girl I bought meds and food for.....now that I can use..shes nowhere..thats just 1 example

[BlueFaith]

I wish I could do something to help you, Sleeps. Really, I do.

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

Lol Zuzu if my doc would write me enough Ambein I would just lay in bed and watch those butterflies till I get booted out of my place It is an awesome sigline

I am gonna go look for some smiles