[walksinair]

I know i have it better than many,but when one has problems it is often hard to see that. I have been trying to get a therapist but the place never called nme back need the sliding scale so have limited resouces. I called them again they asked if i was in a life threatening situation, i said no,so guess what that was on friday and they still havent called me back. Now we have no cell phones cause of a dispute with them.
The other night while at work i came to the realization that i Hate my job now,maybe i just hate work, that is also possible.
I have been trying really hard to get the housework done at least to a level that is semi acceptable.(i have major problems in this area) i would really like to have some help pulling my life together,before i lose everything. It is jusy constantly one thing after another never ending stress,My husbands business is highly stressful and he thinks because of my actions that i dont care so i am stressed about our finantial stress and him being stressed,grrrrrrr .well sorry for being so random but hey guess what not being focused is one of my problems so not surprising, now i dont even have access to this resource most of the time cause there is np open wifi were i woork oh well hope all r having a good day i gtotta sleep so i can go back to the job i hate, blahblah blah!!!

[lunalovegood545]

I absolutely hate it when people think I don't care about stuff just because I have depression. Know that you're not in it alone- we're all a little misunderstood

[puzzclar]

I'm not sure what would help, but I hear you on the the issue of finding a therapist. I had a hard time in Oregon as well...
As for the hate the job thing, I think we have all had a job that we hate, and either we try and make it through the day, or we don't. take your pick.
Stress happens, do you have a way to cope that is free??

[walksinair]

I come by most of my problems honestly, I know that, I have a screwed up belief system, people close to me believe I am selffish and self centered my truth is I am centerless, hollow and empty in the core of my being, people say I only care about myself. In actuallity that is probably who I care the least for! More later gotta get kids motivated for the bus

[walksinair]

Soooo one thing accomplished got kids motivated off to school without me raising my voice, for me every time I do this it is a victory. Now if I could please my husband that would be great, but pretty impossible as he has just had it with me being the way I am, well here's a news flash world SO AM I!!! As for hating my job it is the beginning of burnout, it is not neccessarily physically demanding, though it is amazing how 5 people can all need something at the same time and be in differenť parts of the house, people with dementia, alzheimers can be emotionally,psychologically and physically draining, not sitting down for 5 minutes in 7 or 8 hours can make a person tired, I really don't have options, this is the only work I know how to do so love it or hate it gotta do it. Oh well, I need a nap now.

[puzzclar]

Just know that you can do what ever you put your mind to. The little victories are what keeps us going. Vent here, all you want, it does help. I just hope that life gets better for you. But just know, you are not alone!!
Live is hard, but oh so worth it.

[Rohag]

Hi, Walksinair! Looooong story short...

When I was last employed, I think I made some kind of semi-conscious decision (or, was it a non-decision?) to just keep at it until the increasingly inevitable crash, and that despite the fact I was receiving treatment.

*** insert audio clip of ridiculous, over-the-top crash here ***

Yes, I crashed. Hard. (Not as hard as some others.)

Would I not have crashed and remained at least a minimally productive member of society had I quit? I don't know. Maybe I had lost the imagination to quit. It's all academic now.

I wonder if you are facing a roughly similar situation. Can you navigate your circumstances so that you don't crash?

[lxegirl]

i know how you feel. it does suck. theres alot of people on PC that do understand and will support you as much as possible. not wanting to do anything is a symptom of alot of mental disorders...what exactly do you need a therapist for?

[walksinair]

If I could finantially quit I would but that probably would make things worse cause I would have more time to aggravate my husband in turn making him more likely to give up on me sooner.
I need therapy to work out lots of issues I have, don't have any recent diagnosis, years ago I was diagnosed with ADD non-hyperactive disorder, clinical depression possible Bipolar not sure on that one. This is all very old and I have not had any treatment for it for years.
In 1996 I had what I would describe as a nervous breakdown, I was pretty sure everyone was out to get me,(my exhusband was,but that is another can of worms). My therepist at the time decided I needed to be hospitalizd as I had tried to drive my truck off the road(damn rutty back roads anyway) then the night before I was going in someone cut my fences,again, and a cop came to my house and basically started to open my door to just walk in lucky for both of us I saw his badge before I bashed him in the head with a flashlight his dumb""" had left in my barn. Well went to hospital pulled it together a bit found the amazing man I am married to now and through a slew of years and losses and problems am now on a road back to were I was then and I don't want to go there, without help it could happen specialiy if I lose my family, sorry got a bit long winded there,but everyone I know who I would think of telling already knows this story.