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#1
Apr 09, 2011, 02:43 PM
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Pretty much nothing has changed. I could possibly be getting worse. I'm trying to cope with depression, shaky self esteem, anxiety and the constant need to escape this dull reality by dreaming. I decided to post something again to keep myself from going completely mad lol. I'm getting some type of treatment so maybe things will get better. I'm trying to stay optimistic but it's sooo f@&king hard. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a small room and the four walls are depression, anxiey etc. I feel like those walls are closing in on me sometimes and I feel suffocated. I'm at a point where I don't have alot of hope. I feel like the life is being sucked out of me. I'm gonna try to keep going, somehow.
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#2
Apr 09, 2011, 04:50 PM
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Hi So Punk Rock, I read you blog.... you said "but I'm like a *$#@' 1000 pound crocodile: resilient as hell" lol I love that quote. Keep holding on, Keep fighting... with an attitude like that you will beat this thing and be able to tell others how it was done. Know that you're not alone, millions of us face this battle as well. Get that guitar that you showed interest in (mentioned in your blog) we must keep fighting. Stay encouraged.
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Nigel 
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 so_punk_rock
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#3
Apr 10, 2011, 08:17 AM
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i'm so sorry you're having a rough time of it, SPRM. depression makes everything look like doom and gloom no matter how hard we try. actually i think it saps our mental energy. it sounds like you're making efforts to turn this around. keep trying, don't give up. this too will pass. i do jig saw puzzles to take my mind off the depression to give my depression a rest. it is distracting me when i do the puzzles. try doing something you enjoy doing even tho you feel so down. even a walk for no purpose gets you outside in the sunshine...sunlight helps thwart the depression. and keep posting...it does help. i know. a while back i was in a depressive episode. it helped to get my feelings out there.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
| so_punk_rock
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#4
Apr 10, 2011, 11:11 PM
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spr, glad you're posting again. As you know I've been struggling with similar issues for years and am dealing with some very depressing real life crap but I survive and still lead a creative life. You can too, I'm sure of it.
I'm glad that you're getting treatment and that you're still around here. Keep that resilience, it's handy as hell. Cyran0
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My blog: http://cyran0.psychcentral.net/ Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, PTSD (childhood physical/sexual abuse), history of drug abuse. Meds: Zoloft, Lorazapam, Coffee, Cigarettes "I may climb perhaps to no great heights, but I will climb alone." -Cyrano de Bergerac |
| so_punk_rock
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#5
Apr 12, 2011, 10:42 PM
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spr, I know well how discouraging it can get, dealing with depression and anxiety every day. I wish you healing and hope. You're in good company here.
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