[FW82]

Hello all,

A few months ago I've lost my job. Mainly because my boss hated me, I still don't know why exactly. Since then, my self-esteem has dropped to zero, and yet another depression has kicked in.

I still have the energy to respond to any job I might like. This has led to several job interviews. Somehow I always screw these job interviews up. My shy and anxious nature takes over, and I don't know how to answer their questions.

There are 2 questions that I really hate answering, so I make up some lies, and hope they will be happy with that. But somehow they see right through that.

How do I answer these questions:

- What is your dreamjob?

I can't answer this, because I really don't know.

- Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

The honest answer would be, that I don't see myself anywhere. I'll most likely be dead by then.

How do I answer these questions? My only hope is to get a job, only then can I regain some self-esteem and take care of the rest of my life.

Hi FW82,

When someone asks you about your dream job, you don't have to be very specific and say "I wasnt to be a ____"

What you can say is "My dream job is one where I come in every day and am motivated to work from the time I get there till the time I leave. A job where I'm challenged and fulfilled"...talk about aspects of jobs that you like...some should match the job that you're interviewing for...some don't have to....you can mention flexibility, working for a good company...things like that.

As far as the Where do you want to be in 5 years...you can say...
In the next five years I’d like to see myself here advancing to the next level or at least learning new things and taking on new responsibilities if at all possible.” Or if it’s a job where learning and advancement are not the goal, then a simple ” I’m happiest when I feel that I’m an essential part of the company I work for – hopefully this one. In the next five years (and hopefully more) I plan to take advantage of whatever opportunities are available – but mostly, I want to do the best I can and know that I’m making a difference.”

I hope this helps - i interview people for a living.

[online user]

Great answer from jaded moonbeam! I can't improve on that, but I can give you one tip:

You always know what you intend to say in an interview. When you get nervous and it doesn't come out exactly as you wished, you think it sounds awful. However, the person interviewing you doesn't have ANY preconceived notion of what you are going to say. So, what comes out to them usually sounds pretty good. They accept it, or, if it's not clear, ask a clarifying question. THEY are satisfied, even if you are not. Your interview will ALWAYS sound better to the other person than it does to you. So, don't worry so much--you are likely doing better than you think!

that's true online user.

Another thing, is that you don't have to answer super quickly. It's ok to pause, think, take a breath, then answer the question. Sometimes silence makes people uncomfortable, but I'd always rather have somebody think about their answer for a minute than just blurt something out.

You might want to take some time and write down the answers to the questions you have the most trouble with - it will help you remember them better.

Good luck!

[Bmee2]

Originally Posted by jadedmoonbeam

Hi FW82,

When someone asks you about your dream job, you don't have to be very specific and say "I wasnt to be a ____"

What you can say is "My dream job is one where I come in every day and am motivated to work from the time I get there till the time I leave. A job where I'm challenged and fulfilled"...talk about aspects of jobs that you like...some should match the job that you're interviewing for...some don't have to....you can mention flexibility, working for a good company...things like that.

As far as the Where do you want to be in 5 years...you can say...
In the next five years I’d like to see myself here advancing to the next level or at least learning new things and taking on new responsibilities if at all possible.” Or if it’s a job where learning and advancement are not the goal, then a simple ” I’m happiest when I feel that I’m an essential part of the company I work for – hopefully this one. In the next five years (and hopefully more) I plan to take advantage of whatever opportunities are available – but mostly, I want to do the best I can and know that I’m making a difference.”

I hope this helps - i interview people for a living.

This was very helpful and wonderful advice. Thank you for sharing.

[clouds_and_sun]

((FW82))
I know exactly how you feel. I suffer from Anxiety, Depression and Panic disorder, I am also a major sufferer of Low Self Esteme. I have the state helping me look for the right job and they put me in therapy. I just recenlty got diagnosed with bad low self esteme on top of the other three. Please I suggest to you to try to check into your local Rehap for the Pyschical and Mental impaired, they really do help! I hope this helps you my friend, please let us know.

[estoyaqui]

never mind a dream job! how about just a job! I am 60, nobody wants me. I have a lot of ebperience. But they see my age, and they just gloss over me!

[FW82]

Thank you all for the great advice. It will be very helpful on my next job interview.

Although it's hard to get rejected all the time, I still keep going. I never cared about money, but in a couple of months I have to worry about my finances too. So stress is increasing.

It's hard to find a job, because I don't feel comfortable when I meet new people. I'm still able to motivate myself for a job interview, but deep down I know it won't work out.

If I do manage to get a job I might feel guilty. Because they don't realise that they've just hired a total mess.

Nevertheless, I'm still trying. Because I know I will never get out of this if I don't have a job. There must be someone out there who can be tricked into hiring me.

[FW82]

Still no prospect on ever getting a new job.

I have sent well over 60 job applications, and have had about 8-9 job interviews. Although I'm getting better at the job interviews, I still haven't had any success.

I can present myself as a reliable, flexible and honest person and people say they believe me when I tell that. They can also tell that I'm very eager to start working again and they compliment me for these things.

However, they never hire me! Somehow there's always a better fit out there. They are sure that I will find a job within the next few months, but I can't work for them.

I still have the strength to keep going, but severe depression is right around the corner. I can only assume that all those compliments I get are lies to make me feel better. It makes me angry that people would rather lie to you than be honest.

Originally Posted by FW82

Still no prospect on ever getting a new job.

I have sent well over 60 job applications, and have had about 8-9 job interviews. Although I'm getting better at the job interviews, I still haven't had any success.

I can present myself as a reliable, flexible and honest person and people say they believe me when I tell that. They can also tell that I'm very eager to start working again and they compliment me for these things.

However, they never hire me! Somehow there's always a better fit out there. They are sure that I will find a job within the next few months, but I can't work for them.

I still have the strength to keep going, but severe depression is right around the corner. I can only assume that all those compliments I get are lies to make me feel better. It makes me angry that people would rather lie to you than be honest.

Coming from the Human Resources side of things (please don't hate me)
depending on the job you are in, over 100 people could apply for certain positions...then it get narrowed down to the top 10 people that we might call, and 5 that come in for an interview.
I'm speaking in generalities here....
Every person that gets interviewed will tell me, or or whoever, how reliable, flexible and honest they are....and everyone is very eager to start working. The competition is extremely stiff out there. What you can do is provide examples of HOW you are reliable, how you are flexible....so maybe how you covered someone's shift when they were out, or solved a problem...always have examples of successes you've had in jobs, no matter how small - and why you are better than the other people - what can you do for the company you are interviewing for - that is what will set you apart from the other people that are interviewing.

Feel free to message me for more help!

[online user]

So sorry you are getting discouraged. Jadedmoonbeam is probably correct. I doubt that people are lying to you. You just haven't been at the top yet--but I'll bet your time will be coming!

[FW82]

Hello all,

I have a new job! This is the first step to getting my life back on track.

Your advice has been very helpful. I hope it will be helpful to others as well.

Thank you!