2nd Chance, or is this the 3rd or 4th...

My name refers to chances at life... I have not been handling things very well lately, and because of my attempt almost a month ago today with overdose, I was convinced that I would be able to succeed. People (Myself included) believe that people who attempt suicide and don't succeed really do not want to die, but it's a cry out for help. I believe this yes, maybe subconsciously my mind says "Oh yea 64 pills will easily do it..." when really I need way more than that. That is my little insight into suicide, great eh?

Life is cruel. Things are [censored] and people ditch you.

I was forced from my home. What did I do? Naturally reacted badly, lashed out on other people before surcoming to my own desires to die.
This time was much worse. I'm not going to go into details because having people feel sorry for me is not what I come to this site for.

I am not planning on going home for Christmas this year. This would be the first time not going home, why? Because, I've had it with my parents and they won't even let their son come home. I mean [censored] that. Maybe this will make them cut off my money, then I will die God willing.

Ian

PS I only posted because I didn't want you guys to worry. I am not dead. Yet.

Death Calls Us All, How Long We Prolong It Is Our Choice

If your not dead YET then there is still time for you to do something. You hold all the power here. I don't feel sorry for you. I feel sorry that you can't see beyond what you are wanting to and see that there is so much life than this vicious circle you have put yourself in.

You have many reasons to live and you have the ability to try and succeed. You have to look past yourself sometimes to see what else is out there. Who else is out there.

I am not going to try to talk you out of killing yourself. You don't want to die and I know it. You have to find a reason to live and a reason to live your life differently. You are the one who needs to reach out for help. No one can reach out to help you because you won't let them.

I have tried talking to you a number of times in chat. I tried to give you encouragment and hope. I tried to offer advice. You have always just walked away from the conversation. No one can help you if you don't want to listen and you don't want to try.

I hope the best for you and I hope you can see the potential you have if you only look up and accept some help.
Hugs,
Heidu

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.- Alexander Graham Bell

Hi Ian. I'm glad you came back. Like Heidu said, we want you to make it, but the most important thing is for you to want that too!! Again, I'm glad you posted, and I hope you will keep in touch with us. Your friend, Peanut

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT</font color=blue>

Ian,

Welcome back.

I wish that I could help you, but I know that no one can until you are willing to get better. Lots of people have tried, including me.

I still say that you are a good and decent person, with a lot of potential, and you are worth so much more than you will admit. You can have a good life if you are willing to make that choice.

Wendy

<font color=red>"Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing." -Harriet Braiker</font color=red>

oh sweetie, I had not realized you had gotten this bad.. I should have pm'd you so much sooner..

i hope when you get this you know some one is thinking of you, and wants you to live.. We want you to be better,
I dont want you to kill yourself, for you should not want to do that..

<font color=purple>The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
- G.K. Chesterton
<font color=purple>

someone was looking for you..."somebody cares" I think was her name...please make sure you contact her she was VERY worried about you And sounds liek a sweet lady. Hang tough sweetie...I knwo you're hurting and its hard...wish I had the words or magic touch to take away your pain
Jennifer