not suicidal but having suicidal thoughts

I know i just posted that the depression was at bay and it still is, just all of a sudden have been overwhelmed with suicidal thoughts and images. I don't know what to do other than what i am doing. I'm talking in chat, called my pdoc, got in to see my counselor today instead of next week, and reached out to a couple friends. Sigh, I hate feeling this way. I hate these thoughts, especially when my mood isn't crappy.

((((((Tara)))))) It sounds like you're taking all the right steps to try and fix this. I've been in your situation before, thoughts that you don't even believe are so annoying. Sometimes it can help if whenever you think the thought to say the opposite back to yourself and even reasons why.

For instance: "I hate myself" ---> "No, actually I like myself because I am good at/I like my relationship with my friends/I try to be a good person" etc, whatever it is for you. It can get really draining though

*hugs* and thinking of you

Hi Tara. I have that feeling pretty often but with the years passing, I find that it's like a thin veil, act like a robot and do the next right thing ... as much as we can know what that is. Those feelings seem so wise at the time ... as if ending your time on earth is the only option. But good thing you stay alive. Your post helped me today.

Sorry you are struggling with this today. I have been too. I know I'm not taking any action, but thoughts are in my mind again. Yuk! At least, like you, I feel strong enough to cope with it. Hope your day gets better, my friend! I'm going to go play with my kittens and improve mine!

Tara922,
Sorry to hear you are having a rough day. It sounds like you are doing lots of good things to take care of yourself in the midst of it.

One thing that helps me with those kinds of thoughts is trying to remember that thoughts are just thoughts, and feelings are just feelings... I can just let them arise and pass, and don't have to believe them or act upon them. I think of the thoughts as being like birds flying overhead... I just notice them as they come, but I don't have to latch onto them. I think this helps me because it keeps me from getting hooked into the content of the thoughts, or my story about what the thoughts mean, etc... As someone who somewhat chronically struggles with thoughts of death, this approach has helped me notice when I'm having the thoughts and take them seriously in terms of seeking support, but helps me not make my depression worse by getting obsessively worried about the thoughts, which is what I used to do. I'm rambling now... but I hope this makes sense!

thinking of you,
garden gal

thanks for your replies and support everybody, i did a lot to take care of myself today and just wanted to report that the pdoc thinks its caused by the wellbutrin i just started taking. So i've stopped taking that for now. The thoughts seem to have passed, now i'm going to bed.

love and hugs,
tara

Glad you are feeling better and hope you are having sweet dreams :-)

Glad to see that you are feeling much better.

((((Tara))))) glad to hear it's better for now. Hope it's the wellbutrin - then at least there's an easy solution =)