[(JD)]

....don't know who to trust and not sure I care. There are so many confusing things happening here... so many conflicting statements being made... I don't know if it's my depression or the other members' dx's... many of you have told me to PM you with anything, any time... but with so many others here picking me apart.. how do I know who to trust. .. whether you are part of them trying to sneak in the back door or not? And, like I said, does it matter ? at this late date anyway? heavy sigh.

[Fuzzybear]

I have a lot of trust issues too and you can always PM me.... although a growl probably isn't the support you are looking for.
Does anything matter? Not sure either

Sky,

I'm sorry you are feeling this way.

I feel this way all the time in my 3-D life-- which has made therapy just about impossible--- as I think like you:--" how do I know who to trust. .. whether you are part of them trying to sneak in the back door or not? "--- that can be a very scary and lonely place to be.

I'm sorry that you are feeling that way-- I asure you-- i'm not one of those "sneaking through the back door"--- if you want to PM me you can anytime. Hope you feel safer real soon.
Please take care.

mandy

[dottie]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{SKY}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

gentle and safe hugz!

Do I understand this one!

(((((((((((Sky)))))))))))

[SeptemberMorn]

You suppose this is your paranoia speaking? It's just as a much a liar as depression is, ya know.

[Overcastbutclearing]

_sky....I can relate. I am sorry you are having these thoughts. I know I have not been on the supportive side of anyone in the past few days.
((((_sky)))

[LMo]

You know, I've been thinking a lot about the "trust" issue. I know that many of my friends here have said that they have problems trusting, and I have a hard time relating to that statement. I was trying to figure out where I stand on "TRUST" in an online forum.

I figured out that I neither trust nor distrust people here. It's not that I don't trust... it's that trust doesn't really enter into the equation for me. I feel neutral. Nobody here (except one) knows me in person, so what's the worst that happens? A stranger on the internet decides they don't like me. Oh well. Ok, I feel a little more than that, but honestly? Not much. I mean, there is SO MUCH room for misinterpretation in typed communication that the times when I've PO'ed people, I have taken it with a grain of salt because I realize that the communication isn't going to be 100% clear.

Re-reading what I wrote above, it does sound kind of cold, and I don't mean it to be. It's just that I don't feel exposed when I write in online forums. I don't experience any sense of vulnerability. That's why it's hard for me to relate to this.

Ok, back to you, though, _Sky. I guess I don't have an answer for you. I'd say you can "trust" me, but it would sound very false in light of what I wrote above. What I *CAN* promise, though, is that I will always tell you the truth as I see it, that I will always respect anything that you say to me in confidence, and that I will take you seriously.

How's that?
Love,
LMo

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

Sky thats why I do not disclose too much about my personal life on this site....that and being identified. I do not have a paranoid bone in my body.....in real life I tell all...maybe too much......Online its too much like you dont see or KNOW who you are really talking too

[(JD)]

btw it isn't paranoia when it's real. I think the site can't handle anyone becoming a legendary. I vote to have the final title removed... such petty issues of control abound. Is there so few of us around who care about others.. but then maybe not me.. I'm working on not caring about anyone or anything it makes it easier that way.. to just slip away.. and be forgotten. I don't disclose a great deal about myself... in the nearly 2 years I have been here. Do any of you know my real name? (mods excepted they can search it but they better not disclose!) Do you think you know how I live, really? You think by calling my T that he will share anything about me with you? I never trusted completely here...and one who I shared bits more turned on me... drawing back a nub I continue to try and support others... (sometimes I do say the right thing, go figure!) Is all my hurt worth helping one other? Yeah.. for now.. for the past it was... I think the green carpet in the cave looks just fine!

[Lexicon78]

Sky, I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I know how it is when trust is such a big issue, I have that one, too. Funny thing is, I tell people to PM me all the time, but nobody ever does...I kinda feel left out, but that's ok I guess. I know that you're suffering so much right now...I hope that it passes soon.

I haven't had anyone play the games with me that it sounds like people are playing with you. I'm sorry about all of this. I also know it takes time to trust people...and lots of work...and maybe hopefully in the future you can trust me...I don't talk to too many people here...I just post and get replies and that's it...I rarely enter the chat room and wouldn't dream about talking behind anyone's back...I guess you could say I'm a real loner on the site.

[hereiam]

i wont backstab ya, if thats what you're askin.

[NICO]

trust is my biggest issue too, i have faith in you people but i dont trust you how can i its the bloody internet. at the moment im thinking whocares what people say behind my back if itheres a problem confront me.

(((((((((((_Sky))))))))))))
It's hard to make yourself vulnerable to a forum full of people you don't know. You can't see the immediate reaction to your posts and you don't know who's behind the screen name and if they are who/what they say they are.

It can feel like nobody cares if you don't get the replies to your post you were hoping for and it can feel like you're getting persecuted for responding to a post the way the poster didn't understand or wasn't ready to hear.

We've all made mistakes in misunderstanding someone and have gotten defensive. Maybe we've said something that wasn't appropriate to a thread or hijacked it, unintentionally.
We all go through feelings of insecurity and paranoia in this forum because we are all vulnerable and insecure.
I don't know if people are back stabbing you behind your back and I don't know if it's paranoia. All I know is it's understandable if, at times, you want to pull back and find shelter for yourself.
I really believe there are true blue people on this forum who think and worry about you even when they're not online.
I believe there are a lot of people here who look forward to seeing you in here and listening to what you have to say.
I believe there are people who genuinely care about the person who you have shared with us in this forum.
Can you think about those people instead of the ones who may not want to understand and care about you?
Big fat hugs, Sky. I understand. Really...
(((((((((((SKY)))))))))))))

(((((((((((((Sky)))))))))))))

[(JD)]

a growl does just fine.

[(JD)]

TY (I still like your avatar!)

[(JD)]

hugs are accepted!

[(JD)]

ty I know you do.

[(JD)]

ty... feel better, ok?

[(JD)]

ok!

[(JD)]

TY. ...... I don't PM most ppl because I don't want to whine..and I can't usually remember the sn's! (esp those with # in them )

[(JD)]

Not sure it was a direct question... but ty for reply... but wouldn't all of them say that too?

[(JD)]

TY NICO I don't talk about you behind your back .. I didn't say that I haven't received some nasty grams to my face also? (hey, that's a lobster face, right?)

[(JD)]

TY for your pithy words.